Jan 18, 2009 16:51
i'm in one of those moods where nothing can cheer me up. i just want to feel numb and sleep for days. i'm sick of everything.
last night, i went out with a couple friends and the boy. i was trying to hook the two friends up. the girl can sometimes get on my nerves and drive me nuts...and well, she did last night. i got in one of my moods and didn't feel like doing anything...or saying anything. it ruined my night and i know i probably ruined theirs. just sometimes people get on my nerves...and quick. there's nothing to get out of my moods...just time. people tell me that i need to lighten up. that i don't act my age, i act older, and i just need to let go and have fun. i don't know how to do that. just everything gets to me now. not like they used to.
it made me miss being in ninth grade...when i felt most myself. i had so much fun with my friends. i did whatever i wanted and wasn't scared of stupid things like i am now. somewhat fearless. i tried things. i lightened up. now i can't bring myself to do that. i can't bring myself to lighten up.
my boyfriend says i need to smoke a joint. haha. if only it was always that easy.