abuela
ugh so long time since i last updated. actually my last update even included how i was visiting my gma that night.... that was 2 nights before she passed away. so far i havent noticed so much that she is gone since she lived with my uncle and i didnt see her much but last inght i def. realized and felt and missed her more then ever. we went to dinner at their house and it ewas the first time ive been their since i last visited her. it was really sad walking into her room. its was so empty... and then at dinner it was so different cuz usually we r ctrakcing up about stupid things she usually says or just we wold talk about all of the funny stories about her and it was different. i got really upset. i also wwas going through gregs old phone that i use as an alarm clock and one of the first contacts says abuela, its her old house number and that reaqlly got me, cuz i cant call her anymore. At convnetion and now during rosh hashona services whenever we do mourners kaddish it actually means somethign to me, b4 it didnt i would be really rude and talk during it and ill never do that again. i guess u never really realize the importance of a prayer until it really means something to u. i realized i only have 1more grandparent alive and that scares me. sorry im going on and on but i dont really talk about my pgrandma a lot cuz i dont want to be oh the sad story lets have every1 feel bad for her, i dont even talk about it with my family but i do really miss her. and now i def notoice and im crying right now and yea i should stop. so im going now. ill update later tongiht about everything else inmy life but right now i just got myself not in the mood...