Woman of the Night.
Today and tonight did not go as I had planned. AT ALL.
But I want to start with yesterday.
I went to church. Got home. Cleaned my room. Courtney came over and we had a very long
talk and I'm not sure what the outcome was but we both did leave with a smile. After she
left, I talked to Nathan and Grace and ended up going to Relative Theory with Robin. We
were the only 2 people in there who didnt work there or werent with the 3 very random
metalcore bands. We played checkers and chatted online. I waited around until 10, which
was when Sven got off work. I went home to meet up with her and then we went back to
the record shop. We hung out there with Chris and I really enjoyed myself. He and I had
an interesting conversation and I think he has a lot of great ideas and I love hearing
him talk. He's a wonderful person to know. We stayed until a little after 2 and I ran
a red light on the way home. I was scared. Haha. "I thought it was green..."
Early 90's Al and I got to my house and she drew while I talked and laid in bed. Soon
she got into bed and cuddled and made a phone call to Hector and we talked for a bit and
what we talked about actually made me realize that I'm not alone in this certain issue.
I dont know. Eventually we hung up and she and I talked for awhile and we decided we
needed to get to sleep. We woke up at 9 and took my car to get a tune up and oil change.
The man said it would take an hour at the most. It wasnt until 4 pm and $95 later ,
I got my car back. I went home, showered, and waited for Ash to get my house and for
Nathan to call me.
She got to my homestead and we went to pick Nate up. Oh man. I'm already starting to
regret this. I wanted to see Mental but Ive seen them before so I thought Id be okay
if I didnt go to the show. But then he told me that Righteous Jams were going to play
and I so, so badly wanted to stay and see them. But I also knew that I wanted to spend
time with him. So we left and went to eat at No Frill Bar and Grill, in Ghent. Out of
no where, for some reason, every single thing Ashley said was annoying me. In the WORST
way. I wanted her to shut up and never speak again. Soon, I felt the same aboutNate.
I was angry and irritated and wanted to go home and not hang out with anyone. I dont
know what happened for me to feel that way. It was like, whatever I had to say, didnt
matter. Because whatever Ashley said was better and funnier and she HAD to interrupt
every sentence out of my mouth, and Nate had to make comments about how cute the girls
were who worked at the restaurant. I wasnt happy but I pretended I didnt care and I
would go along with what was being talked about and would eat and that was that. After
we left, we went to Starbucks and I still wasnt in the best mood. I truly wanted to be
happy and satisfied so I continued to laugh and smile.
I didnt want to run into people from Granby. I didnt want to hear about
how a girl we walked past,used to realllly like Nate a few years back.
I didnt want a story from Ashley as to why we couldnt sit in the patio
at No Frill {Because her and her ex used to ALWAYS sit there.}. I'm
SORRY. I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get home. Oh, but Ashley just jad to get to Relative Theory. She HAD TO.
We get there and I run into Emily. That was when I felt 100% better. I hugged her and
smiled so wide and so many good feelings invaded my body. Then, I ran into about 8 or 9
people from Norfolk Christian, but seeing Bryce, made the world a better place. I didnt
want to ever let go of him. We talked for a few minutes and he made me laugh and I
remembered the good times and then all of my bad feelings about my evening had gone
away. Then, Timmy called and said he was ready to go and Nate had to leave. In less
than 30 seconds, I was back to feeling unhappy. I didnt want to let him go so soon. And
I hadnt even hung out with him. I wanted to go back to my house and cuddle and watch a
movie and just talk. No. Couldnt do it.
They wanted me to drive all the way to fucking IHOP on Battlefield Blvd or some
shitty Cheseapeake place. But it made no sense seing as how there was an IHOP 10 minutes
down Military Highway. I was angry. I couldnt believe what was happening. I wasnt sure
if I was angry or sad or maybe I couldnt tell because it was so much so soon. They called
back and we met up at a Wendys and I was mad and Nate left and I cried on the way
home, silently.
I didnt give him a hug or a kiss or a goodbye.
I dont know why I didnt. I was mad at the wrong person. I felt horrible. Like a monster.
I wanted to just run back and hug him. I love him with everything inside of me and
it overwhelms me. Ashley and I didnt speak on the way back home. We got back and we
went to my room. We sat and talked and I think she felt bad about some things that had
to do with the evening but that was the last thing I wanted to happen. Shes one of my
best friends and she has done so much for me and I feel lucky to have her around. We
talked, drew on my chalkboard, listened to the cd Nate made me and we danced like
silly girls and had fun. Inside, I still felt bad about Nate and I miss him terribly.
Ash left half an hour ago and now I'm here. I feel okay and sad. But not a negative type
of sad. I think I want too much out of life and I expect the best in people and I get
let down by them. Maybe I should be used to it but, I dont want to be.
I have said a lot and now I'm left unsure of what else there is to say.
Oh. The subject of this entry is my nickname from Chris.
I'm finished.
But I want to start with yesterday.
I went to church. Got home. Cleaned my room. Courtney came over and we had a very long
talk and I'm not sure what the outcome was but we both did leave with a smile. After she
left, I talked to Nathan and Grace and ended up going to Relative Theory with Robin. We
were the only 2 people in there who didnt work there or werent with the 3 very random
metalcore bands. We played checkers and chatted online. I waited around until 10, which
was when Sven got off work. I went home to meet up with her and then we went back to
the record shop. We hung out there with Chris and I really enjoyed myself. He and I had
an interesting conversation and I think he has a lot of great ideas and I love hearing
him talk. He's a wonderful person to know. We stayed until a little after 2 and I ran
a red light on the way home. I was scared. Haha. "I thought it was green..."
Early 90's Al and I got to my house and she drew while I talked and laid in bed. Soon
she got into bed and cuddled and made a phone call to Hector and we talked for a bit and
what we talked about actually made me realize that I'm not alone in this certain issue.
I dont know. Eventually we hung up and she and I talked for awhile and we decided we
needed to get to sleep. We woke up at 9 and took my car to get a tune up and oil change.
The man said it would take an hour at the most. It wasnt until 4 pm and $95 later ,
I got my car back. I went home, showered, and waited for Ash to get my house and for
Nathan to call me.
She got to my homestead and we went to pick Nate up. Oh man. I'm already starting to
regret this. I wanted to see Mental but Ive seen them before so I thought Id be okay
if I didnt go to the show. But then he told me that Righteous Jams were going to play
and I so, so badly wanted to stay and see them. But I also knew that I wanted to spend
time with him. So we left and went to eat at No Frill Bar and Grill, in Ghent. Out of
no where, for some reason, every single thing Ashley said was annoying me. In the WORST
way. I wanted her to shut up and never speak again. Soon, I felt the same aboutNate.
I was angry and irritated and wanted to go home and not hang out with anyone. I dont
know what happened for me to feel that way. It was like, whatever I had to say, didnt
matter. Because whatever Ashley said was better and funnier and she HAD to interrupt
every sentence out of my mouth, and Nate had to make comments about how cute the girls
were who worked at the restaurant. I wasnt happy but I pretended I didnt care and I
would go along with what was being talked about and would eat and that was that. After
we left, we went to Starbucks and I still wasnt in the best mood. I truly wanted to be
happy and satisfied so I continued to laugh and smile.
I didnt want to run into people from Granby. I didnt want to hear about
how a girl we walked past,used to realllly like Nate a few years back.
I didnt want a story from Ashley as to why we couldnt sit in the patio
at No Frill {Because her and her ex used to ALWAYS sit there.}. I'm
SORRY. I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get home. Oh, but Ashley just jad to get to Relative Theory. She HAD TO.
We get there and I run into Emily. That was when I felt 100% better. I hugged her and
smiled so wide and so many good feelings invaded my body. Then, I ran into about 8 or 9
people from Norfolk Christian, but seeing Bryce, made the world a better place. I didnt
want to ever let go of him. We talked for a few minutes and he made me laugh and I
remembered the good times and then all of my bad feelings about my evening had gone
away. Then, Timmy called and said he was ready to go and Nate had to leave. In less
than 30 seconds, I was back to feeling unhappy. I didnt want to let him go so soon. And
I hadnt even hung out with him. I wanted to go back to my house and cuddle and watch a
movie and just talk. No. Couldnt do it.
They wanted me to drive all the way to fucking IHOP on Battlefield Blvd or some
shitty Cheseapeake place. But it made no sense seing as how there was an IHOP 10 minutes
down Military Highway. I was angry. I couldnt believe what was happening. I wasnt sure
if I was angry or sad or maybe I couldnt tell because it was so much so soon. They called
back and we met up at a Wendys and I was mad and Nate left and I cried on the way
home, silently.
I didnt give him a hug or a kiss or a goodbye.
I dont know why I didnt. I was mad at the wrong person. I felt horrible. Like a monster.
I wanted to just run back and hug him. I love him with everything inside of me and
it overwhelms me. Ashley and I didnt speak on the way back home. We got back and we
went to my room. We sat and talked and I think she felt bad about some things that had
to do with the evening but that was the last thing I wanted to happen. Shes one of my
best friends and she has done so much for me and I feel lucky to have her around. We
talked, drew on my chalkboard, listened to the cd Nate made me and we danced like
silly girls and had fun. Inside, I still felt bad about Nate and I miss him terribly.
Ash left half an hour ago and now I'm here. I feel okay and sad. But not a negative type
of sad. I think I want too much out of life and I expect the best in people and I get
let down by them. Maybe I should be used to it but, I dont want to be.
I have said a lot and now I'm left unsure of what else there is to say.
Oh. The subject of this entry is my nickname from Chris.
I'm finished.