blah blah blah!
im only seventeen.
and i may be alone for the time being, but at least im getting to the point where i can say i dont need 'a signifigant other' in my life to feel complete. i spent 3 years of my life not knowing what it was like to just be goofy, to have fun, to grow up slowly.. i thought that since nick was older than me, i had to mature faster to keep up. well look where that got me? i was miserable and went through expiriences that people go their entire lives without having to go through. i missed out on savoring highschool. im a damn senior, and ive only had one real boyfriend. i dont even know how to date bc ive never had to "go out" with anyone else, i feel bad for the guys ive been seeing lately, they most likely think i'm socially impaired, but ITS NOT MY FAULT, Iive just never had to do this before..hahah!!
i want to take a vacation from here. from school and rochester and everyone i know, bc everyone i know reminds me of how things used to be. and its hard to think about all the reasons why we're here, when its been so long that im not angry anymore. so its a whole lot easier to remember the good, not the bad. and i hate having to replay all the moments where i would rather rip my insides out then be then and there.. but its the only thing that keeps me moving on. keeps me from making the same mistakes i've made too many times. and i love nick, i do, and he will always have a place in my life. just not THAT place anymore. and i think we both know it, we had our time, and good lord, it was ONE HELL OF A RUN.. haha and ive excepted that we're not right for eachother anymore.. i dont know if he has since we dont talk anymore????? but at least i can let him know that he will always have a friendship in me.. take it or leave it.
jghdgfjkgh;dkghdfd;fi whatevs, i actually cant believe im about to post this, how bold. but since NO ONE EVEN READS THISSS SHIT SINCE WE'RE ALL MYSPACE WHORES, i dont really care that im saying all this.... its our little secret ;]
bahaah im sucha dork... goodnighttss
and i may be alone for the time being, but at least im getting to the point where i can say i dont need 'a signifigant other' in my life to feel complete. i spent 3 years of my life not knowing what it was like to just be goofy, to have fun, to grow up slowly.. i thought that since nick was older than me, i had to mature faster to keep up. well look where that got me? i was miserable and went through expiriences that people go their entire lives without having to go through. i missed out on savoring highschool. im a damn senior, and ive only had one real boyfriend. i dont even know how to date bc ive never had to "go out" with anyone else, i feel bad for the guys ive been seeing lately, they most likely think i'm socially impaired, but ITS NOT MY FAULT, Iive just never had to do this before..hahah!!
i want to take a vacation from here. from school and rochester and everyone i know, bc everyone i know reminds me of how things used to be. and its hard to think about all the reasons why we're here, when its been so long that im not angry anymore. so its a whole lot easier to remember the good, not the bad. and i hate having to replay all the moments where i would rather rip my insides out then be then and there.. but its the only thing that keeps me moving on. keeps me from making the same mistakes i've made too many times. and i love nick, i do, and he will always have a place in my life. just not THAT place anymore. and i think we both know it, we had our time, and good lord, it was ONE HELL OF A RUN.. haha and ive excepted that we're not right for eachother anymore.. i dont know if he has since we dont talk anymore????? but at least i can let him know that he will always have a friendship in me.. take it or leave it.
jghdgfjkgh;dkghdfd;fi whatevs, i actually cant believe im about to post this, how bold. but since NO ONE EVEN READS THISSS SHIT SINCE WE'RE ALL MYSPACE WHORES, i dont really care that im saying all this.... its our little secret ;]
bahaah im sucha dork... goodnighttss