*last day of this odd weekend*

[xonikkiox311]

It's sunday. I had fun last night even though i didn't get to attend the fireworks. I had fun visiting with family and making plans to go out with my aunt in a couple weeks. Tonight is the fourth or july celebrations except half my family isn't here so it won't be much of a party ::sigh:: :/. I wish it could be like when i was little. When i was younger we used to have this huge party at my grandmother's house with all sorts or bbq food and salads. It was great. My dad even got REAL fireworks from Florida and did a fireworks show. And it wasn't those dinky ones you can buy at halmark or walmart. They were the real thing. But now all that's left is a few family members and sparklers, this year anyways. Anyway i have other pressing issues. As i always do. But this time i'm torn. I like this awesome guy who lives in Farfield, i've given up on my other hopeless crush, but i haven't called the kid in forever. Last night was the first time i've talked to him in at least a month because i'm scared. I know it sounds stupid but when i care about someone a lot i get scared. I hate feeling like the other person is in control of my emotions and that's how i felt. So i stopped calling. Now i want to talk to him all the time and hang out with him a lot because it's summa and i have a lot of time. He does too. And again i'm scared. I wanna slam my head through a glass door sometimes because i'm so stupid.
-xo-
me