(no subject)
i really don't know what to do with myself .
and for what its worth, im sorry i wasnt what i promised i would be. im still trying, i just wanted to be a happy part of your life.
this sucks. most definately.
if the past 4 years have taught me anything, it's that things arent going to get better, they're just going to get worse in more inventive ways. my mind is getting pulled back into my old ultimate solution, and i dont want that..but i really need some hope man. something is wrong with me and i cant for the life of me figure it out. i guess ill just keep running from myself until i get tired enough.
i miss my fucking friends. all of you. everywhere. it's almost enough for me to not try and make new friends, because that kind of hurt is impossible to take. i don't want to throw more logs on the fire.
thats a terrible way to go through life, i know, but for the time being, maybe it will help.
ive got so many people i could call , and yet the phone weighs 2,000 pounds. i dont really know what to say to people anymore..i really dont.
i just want to lay down and hold you and sleep through this. all of this.
'the futures got me worried such awful thoughts, my heads a carousel of pictures the spinning never stops, i almost forgot who i was but i came to my senses. i keep making this to-do list but nothing gets crossed off'
i think not being able to pinpoint why im so sad is the worst part, i just want to fucking know the problem so i can take steps to correct it.
'you can't stay mad at the setting sun, cause we all get tired i mean eventually, there is nothing left to do but sleep'
and for what its worth, im sorry i wasnt what i promised i would be. im still trying, i just wanted to be a happy part of your life.
this sucks. most definately.
if the past 4 years have taught me anything, it's that things arent going to get better, they're just going to get worse in more inventive ways. my mind is getting pulled back into my old ultimate solution, and i dont want that..but i really need some hope man. something is wrong with me and i cant for the life of me figure it out. i guess ill just keep running from myself until i get tired enough.
i miss my fucking friends. all of you. everywhere. it's almost enough for me to not try and make new friends, because that kind of hurt is impossible to take. i don't want to throw more logs on the fire.
thats a terrible way to go through life, i know, but for the time being, maybe it will help.
ive got so many people i could call , and yet the phone weighs 2,000 pounds. i dont really know what to say to people anymore..i really dont.
i just want to lay down and hold you and sleep through this. all of this.
'the futures got me worried such awful thoughts, my heads a carousel of pictures the spinning never stops, i almost forgot who i was but i came to my senses. i keep making this to-do list but nothing gets crossed off'
i think not being able to pinpoint why im so sad is the worst part, i just want to fucking know the problem so i can take steps to correct it.
'you can't stay mad at the setting sun, cause we all get tired i mean eventually, there is nothing left to do but sleep'