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also. theres this girl... i dated last winter.. and i really screwed it up ...i did a lot of shitty things.. but recently shes been wanting to be my friend (after we hadnt talked at all in many many months).. she just broke up with her bf and since we've been talking i realized how much i miss her ... how badly i regret those horrible things i did last year.
she still doesnt trust me. . she doesnt believe that id give her everything i have... she thinks im a slut, that id get with any girl who wants me.. when the reality is i cant even think of anyone else, because of her. shes on my mind constantly.. but when i try and im or call her she basically ignores me.. she makes plans, then breaks them...she never ever calls , even when she promises she will..
i want just one chance.. but she wont have it. shes kind of in the process of recovering from some drug abuse problems... (im straight) and i just wish i could help her with everything in her life ... with her shitty friends who dont appreciate her .. with how she handles problems..ugh..
she said we'd hang out tonight after she got off work. she said shed call me at 10. i went to the supermarket at 9:30 and bought her a big thing of apple juice (its kind of an inside thing with us) and a really nice looking rose. i even paid for it all (i usually just steal everything). but .. she didnt call.. when 10:30 rolled around i went online, and she was there.. at home. she said she was upset, couldnt hang out or anything... except, her ex was over at her house? then she asked me if i could pick her up later on after he parents went to bed and she could sneak out.. of course i said yeah. well, its 2:00 now and shes been idle for over an hour and 1/2 and her away msg says "sleep".
do i pursue this? im honestly just ready to give up.. im so frustrated ...with the fact that she never calls...or .. text msgs me back... or acknowledges the fact that i leave her 30 billion ims whenever shes not at her computer... im not like psycho obsessed or anything .. i just miss her so much. i wish she knew.. i wish she could trust me again.. i wish she believed me when i say that im willing to give everyone up for her. help..
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i personally believe that you should try and MAKE her see what you are feeling. maybe stop by her house without her knowing. put yourself there, so she can't cancel on you. so she can't make an excuse or become too caught up in other things to have time for you. i am not saying that this will guarantee anything, but it could help.
maybe she does this because she feels the same but is afraid to show it? because she knows that if she sees you it will all come back to her? girls are complicated (i can't even figure myself out half of the time), and i am sorry you are going through this. i don't know if i helped at all, but i am hoping things improve.
if you need an ear:
dear postal
OR
oh oh electric
<3
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