(no subject)
when the situation is bad why do people stay in it and put themselves through it? i just don't get people. i went to school the other day for registration and i felt so out of place. honestly i'm not looking forward to my senior year. most of my friends either graduated or aren't comeing back and i sorta decided that people i didn't see or hadn't talked to i wasn't really going to be jumping for joy when i saw them. i'm just at such an odd stage in my life and this summer has been a huge growing experience and i guess i just want to meet new people this year. hell watch out i'm gonna end up chillin with freshman. new people places and things thats what my summer has been about in a sense. knowing that i just deal with things on a daily basis that a lot of the people i know haven't ever had to deal with always makes me feel like i don't belong. i have 68 days of sobriety today though. almost 69 in about 2 hours and 19 minutes.. lol well the start of my 69th day. tonight i was suppose to go to my friends house. his name is trevor, he passed away on the 11th of last month. his parents were having a memorial service for all of his friends in NA that he knew. thats where i meet him NA. he was the first person to ever give me a key tag, a just for today tag. and we used to see eachother every tuesday from about march to june. then i saw him on occasion at meetings. but anyway his parents decided they weren't ready for a memorial service yet so they'll have it later on. but the point of that was, was in a way i wasn't either. i've been anticipating it for a few weeks now but when blair told me they changed the date i was relieved. i've already excepted the fact that i won't see him again but seeing his parents will crack me. i broke down when i saw his dad cry at the funeral and i don't want to do that again. but i want to talk to his parents. but anyway i smell cake, so i'm off.