will every thing just stop for a second!!
im soo over powered by life right now. the stupid flashing light at the bottom of my screen tells me that i have a comment is really starting to irritate me. i cant get over the fact that im married. i dont know if it was a huge mistake yet. im waiting jsut like val for it to blow up in my face. i cant handle this. chris wants me to get a divorce and move to virginia with him. he wants to start a family. me and a family.. lets all take a moment to take that in. yeah. . . i dont know. but with him it seems right. if only my heart was in the right place. i brake up with luke b/c he wanted to get married and now i am.. its too much. i just want to pick up my suit case and leave i wish jess would right me back. god i want to leave again. vacation sounds soo good. fucking danny. hahaha i always new id end up maring a mexican. haha even though all i date are white guys. what a strange world.
im getting so frustrated with all of these guys telling me thing that they think i want to hear. yeah like i want to know your in love with me too. im getting to the point of where i want to go into hidding. its killing me. every night that i go into work i have on an average of about 3-6 guys come up to me and flip out about me being married and why they cant get me out of their heads. I dotn fucking know ive been asking myself the same thing. i had a guy on tuesday that i went to high school with tell me that i was part of his reason for living. he described me to the "t" on the first day that we met. he said that not too long ago he got into a accident and was in the hospital for about a month and when he would get depressed he would think about me. he said that when he saw me i was always happy. he said that i would make him feel better. he started to go on about how he would take the long way to class just so he could watch me. he described the guy (who is still my friend) and told me that he wished it was him that i was walking with all time. he knew what i would eat for lunch and ask my firends about me.
i cant handle this. its getting out of controll.
i use danny as an excuse.
all of my friends want to have guys all over them like i do and i just want to have a night where i can have a normal harmless conversation with a person and not feel like they're analizing how i would be in bed.
it gets me so depressed.
im getting so frustrated with all of these guys telling me thing that they think i want to hear. yeah like i want to know your in love with me too. im getting to the point of where i want to go into hidding. its killing me. every night that i go into work i have on an average of about 3-6 guys come up to me and flip out about me being married and why they cant get me out of their heads. I dotn fucking know ive been asking myself the same thing. i had a guy on tuesday that i went to high school with tell me that i was part of his reason for living. he described me to the "t" on the first day that we met. he said that not too long ago he got into a accident and was in the hospital for about a month and when he would get depressed he would think about me. he said that when he saw me i was always happy. he said that i would make him feel better. he started to go on about how he would take the long way to class just so he could watch me. he described the guy (who is still my friend) and told me that he wished it was him that i was walking with all time. he knew what i would eat for lunch and ask my firends about me.
i cant handle this. its getting out of controll.
i use danny as an excuse.
all of my friends want to have guys all over them like i do and i just want to have a night where i can have a normal harmless conversation with a person and not feel like they're analizing how i would be in bed.
it gets me so depressed.