the worst week ever...
well this was the worst week ever.... i dont even want to talk about it...
so 2day was the 10 years since my dad has been gone.. and i miss him so much... i did so good 2day i didnt cry at all... until i got home... and for some reason i just got really upset.. and i feel so alone... and i cant talk to anyone about it because they dont understand what its like... my dad was the most important person in my life.. i loved him more then anything in the world.. i was the biggest daddys girl EvEr.. thats not fair i didnt even get to spend a lot of time with him... i didnt even get to say good bye... give him a kiss or anything.. i kno hes watching over me and everything but i just wish he was here.. 2day was the first time i went to see him in like 8 years.. i havent been out there for so long... and it was so weird.. i dont even kno how to explain the way i felt... i was happy but then i was so sad and upset.. then i got frustrtated because i dont kno why he had to die... thats not fair... he didnt deserve that... i seriously dont even kno what to say or do... im so sad.. i havent felt this sad in a long time... i read my cousin rebeccas away message and this is what it was...
Auto response from beeccky: its a sad day....
10 years ago it was a sunday, it was snowing and we went shopping, came home, and found you gone......
i miss you and love you very much... so i will toast to you all nite long.
it was and it brings back such a sad thought... it was snowing... me my mom and rebecca were shopping.. we came home and he was just laying there gone.. there was nothing we could do or anyone else could do... it was too late... its the worst feeling ever... i got the worst flash back of walking in and seeing blood and i just screamed.. i didnt kno what else to do... i was devestated.. that is my dad laying there and no one can help him.. i dont understand... WHY??? thats not fair..
R.I.P Daddy December 12, 1994
I hope that all is well in heaven Cuz its all shot to hell down here I hope that I find you in heaven Cuz Im so lost without you down here you wont be coming back and i didn't get to say goodbye i really wish I got to say goodbye
From the start youve been with me
Through every laugh and tear
To remember and share the memories
Of every passing year now that is not possible for your body has passed away but in my heart, be left assured
your spirit shall always stay
Many times we've missed you A million times we've cried If love could have saved you You never would have died
Daddy i love you and miss you so much.. there is no guy in this world who can ever take my dads place... he was the best guy ever... he was funni and everyone loved him... there was no bad bone in his body... and at the funeral there were over 100 cars following.. so that says a lot too...
im so thankful that i was with stacia all day... i kno you were sad.. but you helped me a lot.. thank you so much.. your such a good friend to me... i wish you would be happy too... your such a good friend you dont deserve to be sad.... I <3 U!!
and to make it worse... as soon as i left stacias i got upset.. and i didnt wanna cry cause i did so good all day holding it in.. that i got an attitude... then me and brandon got in a fight... :( so that makes it like 10 times worse... the one person who i wanna be with is mad at me...
well if we look at the good things.. i start my new job 2mrrow... at 4:15!! thats cool.. im excited... i dunno how im gonna do at school 2mrrow tho... i prolly wont get any sleep... and ill just be thinking about it all 2mrrow... so it will prolly be a real emotional day... :\
I sit and wait
as an angel
Contemplates my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cause I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
He breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
I'm loving angels instead, ohhh oh yeah
And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
Jessica Simpson - Angels
thats such a good song...
well i dont even kno.. im gonna go lay down...
so 2day was the 10 years since my dad has been gone.. and i miss him so much... i did so good 2day i didnt cry at all... until i got home... and for some reason i just got really upset.. and i feel so alone... and i cant talk to anyone about it because they dont understand what its like... my dad was the most important person in my life.. i loved him more then anything in the world.. i was the biggest daddys girl EvEr.. thats not fair i didnt even get to spend a lot of time with him... i didnt even get to say good bye... give him a kiss or anything.. i kno hes watching over me and everything but i just wish he was here.. 2day was the first time i went to see him in like 8 years.. i havent been out there for so long... and it was so weird.. i dont even kno how to explain the way i felt... i was happy but then i was so sad and upset.. then i got frustrtated because i dont kno why he had to die... thats not fair... he didnt deserve that... i seriously dont even kno what to say or do... im so sad.. i havent felt this sad in a long time... i read my cousin rebeccas away message and this is what it was...
Auto response from beeccky: its a sad day....
10 years ago it was a sunday, it was snowing and we went shopping, came home, and found you gone......
i miss you and love you very much... so i will toast to you all nite long.
it was and it brings back such a sad thought... it was snowing... me my mom and rebecca were shopping.. we came home and he was just laying there gone.. there was nothing we could do or anyone else could do... it was too late... its the worst feeling ever... i got the worst flash back of walking in and seeing blood and i just screamed.. i didnt kno what else to do... i was devestated.. that is my dad laying there and no one can help him.. i dont understand... WHY??? thats not fair..
R.I.P Daddy December 12, 1994
I hope that all is well in heaven Cuz its all shot to hell down here I hope that I find you in heaven Cuz Im so lost without you down here you wont be coming back and i didn't get to say goodbye i really wish I got to say goodbye
From the start youve been with me
Through every laugh and tear
To remember and share the memories
Of every passing year now that is not possible for your body has passed away but in my heart, be left assured
your spirit shall always stay
Many times we've missed you A million times we've cried If love could have saved you You never would have died
Daddy i love you and miss you so much.. there is no guy in this world who can ever take my dads place... he was the best guy ever... he was funni and everyone loved him... there was no bad bone in his body... and at the funeral there were over 100 cars following.. so that says a lot too...
im so thankful that i was with stacia all day... i kno you were sad.. but you helped me a lot.. thank you so much.. your such a good friend to me... i wish you would be happy too... your such a good friend you dont deserve to be sad.... I <3 U!!
and to make it worse... as soon as i left stacias i got upset.. and i didnt wanna cry cause i did so good all day holding it in.. that i got an attitude... then me and brandon got in a fight... :( so that makes it like 10 times worse... the one person who i wanna be with is mad at me...
well if we look at the good things.. i start my new job 2mrrow... at 4:15!! thats cool.. im excited... i dunno how im gonna do at school 2mrrow tho... i prolly wont get any sleep... and ill just be thinking about it all 2mrrow... so it will prolly be a real emotional day... :\
I sit and wait
as an angel
Contemplates my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cause I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
He breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
I'm loving angels instead, ohhh oh yeah
And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
Jessica Simpson - Angels
thats such a good song...
well i dont even kno.. im gonna go lay down...