My vindication as follows:kaorii_niihtSeptember 21 2005, 09:51:59 UTC
She doesn't feel love towards me anymore, I don't make her happy like I used to, and thats its not my fault, and we should be friends.
1. Everytime I brought up an issue with the relationship you would acknowledge it then ignore my point or say I was wrong.
2. I began to second guess myself because of that and I wasn't happy with who I had become.
3. All you ever did was beg me not to string you around, and if I felt that I didn't love you or couldn't give you the emotional support you needed then I shouldn't lie or try to fake it for you.
4. Quit saying, "I stayed by her when she was depressed-" because you know what if it was that freaking hard then you shouldn't have done it at all. I'm sorry that I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry I don't care the way that I used to, but there's nothing I can do to change that so I don't really feel that it's FAIR for me to stay with you just because you did so earlier in the relationship. Again, if you had such a problem with it so many months before you should have said something to me. I was fucking clueless. I didn't have any idea that it bothered you so much about what I had done until the last fight we had when you actually told me what was going on through your head. When you told me what you were thinking! But, you told me a little too late. It's like you trying to pidgeon-hold me into something as a last ditch effort to keep the relationship alive...and no, that's not fair. The whole break-up wasn't just me being fucking selfish. I can't believe that you won't acknowledge the fact that: I DON'T LOVE YOU. For a time, you said you felt the same way...or thought you did at least. Stop using this as an excuse. You keep complicating things more than they have to be.
A realtionship should not be something that's 'eye for an eye'. It is a partnership. I felt like I couldn't contribute anything more and felt that you would be better off without me. Also I really didn't see the relationship going anywhere. All we ever did was fight with maybe a week or two of reprieval in between. I wasn't happy with you.
If there was a time when you weren't happy with me or didn't want to work through things then you should have said so. I'm really sick of hearing the excuse that I didn't try in the relationship. Ten months is a really long time and after our last fight I did put a hell of a lot more effort into it just as you started to slip into your depression...I didn't break up with you because of your depression, I just didn't want to make it worse.
My vindication as follows: Pt 2kaorii_niihtSeptember 21 2005, 09:52:18 UTC
-it seemed like I was always just a toy to her. That pisses me off. You know it's not true. I know you're upset and aren't thinking straight but that's absolute bullshit. You also know that if you ever felt that way all you had to do was mention it to me and I would try to clear things up or I would try to 'CHANGE' myself to your pleasing.
I believe that we both did things in the relationship that we are not proud of and slightly scorned by but I did care about you and I still do but when I read this I just want to scream. I was hoping you would be more mature about it. I was hoping you noticed the same things I did and would realize that this isn't fixable. If I had stuck around, I think all I would have done was brought you down. I get bitchy, I get anti-social and you don't need a girlfriend who doesn't love you hanging around when you're depressed. Plain and simple.
-if she is happy, if she has the attention, if she is loved, if she has someone to her expectations. We both did that in the relationship as well so don't try to play it like it's one sided and all I did was string you around. Don't make it sound like I'm the bad guy. Don't talk shit about me just because you're upset it ended.
I'm really disappointed in you. This was a high school relationship, that failed. Just because I didn't want to be your girlfriend, didn't mean that I didn't care. I still think about a lot. I took a big chance by telling you that but you don't even seem to acknowledge it because you're so busying pitying yourself.
All I can do right now is think about the good times. The good times that were a long time ago before everything became mucked up. I think if I had ended it sooner, when I first thought of the idea, when I first started to notice that things were going downhill maybe things wouldn't have become so disarray, but then again I think that no matter what you were bound to get hurt so I apologize.
I've apologized for a lot of the things I've done but once again, you're too busy playing Star Wars, too busy distracting yourself, too busy bitching about your parents to even notice.
One more thing, stop bad-mouthing me to my friends. You have friends, Adil-Mike-James-ect. Talk to them. Chances are, they aren't going to rat you out and tell me that all you do is bitch about me.
It's over. It's done. We gave it a really good try and put a lot into it and I know that I have something to show for it, but apparantly unless the relationship leads up to marriage...you don't.
I was really good to you, and you were really good to me. At times I didn't give enough but I didn't realize that until you told me...it's not fair that I be held responsible for the entire blame of the relationship failing.
It didn't work. It would have never worked. We both tried, and we both made some nice memories together.
If you ever stop acting like this, and you need someone to talk to- someone who's going to give you the truth without any strings attatched, someone who's not going to give you a half-assed answer, someone who actually gives a damn about you, then you know who to call.
1. Everytime I brought up an issue with the relationship you would acknowledge it then ignore my point or say I was wrong.
2. I began to second guess myself because of that and I wasn't happy with who I had become.
3. All you ever did was beg me not to string you around, and if I felt that I didn't love you or couldn't give you the emotional support you needed then I shouldn't lie or try to fake it for you.
4. Quit saying, "I stayed by her when she was depressed-" because you know what if it was that freaking hard then you shouldn't have done it at all. I'm sorry that I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry I don't care the way that I used to, but there's nothing I can do to change that so I don't really feel that it's FAIR for me to stay with you just because you did so earlier in the relationship. Again, if you had such a problem with it so many months before you should have said something to me. I was fucking clueless. I didn't have any idea that it bothered you so much about what I had done until the last fight we had when you actually told me what was going on through your head. When you told me what you were thinking! But, you told me a little too late. It's like you trying to pidgeon-hold me into something as a last ditch effort to keep the relationship alive...and no, that's not fair. The whole break-up wasn't just me being fucking selfish. I can't believe that you won't acknowledge the fact that: I DON'T LOVE YOU.
For a time, you said you felt the same way...or thought you did at least. Stop using this as an excuse. You keep complicating things more than they have to be.
A realtionship should not be something that's 'eye for an eye'. It is a partnership. I felt like I couldn't contribute anything more and felt that you would be better off without me. Also I really didn't see the relationship going anywhere. All we ever did was fight with maybe a week or two of reprieval in between. I wasn't happy with you.
If there was a time when you weren't happy with me or didn't want to work through things then you should have said so. I'm really sick of hearing the excuse that I didn't try in the relationship. Ten months is a really long time and after our last fight I did put a hell of a lot more effort into it just as you started to slip into your depression...I didn't break up with you because of your depression, I just didn't want to make it worse.
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That pisses me off. You know it's not true. I know you're upset and aren't thinking straight but that's absolute bullshit. You also know that if you ever felt that way all you had to do was mention it to me and I would try to clear things up or I would try to 'CHANGE' myself to your pleasing.
I believe that we both did things in the relationship that we are not proud of and slightly scorned by but I did care about you and I still do but when I read this I just want to scream. I was hoping you would be more mature about it. I was hoping you noticed the same things I did and would realize that this isn't fixable. If I had stuck around, I think all I would have done was brought you down. I get bitchy, I get anti-social and you don't need a girlfriend who doesn't love you hanging around when you're depressed. Plain and simple.
-if she is happy, if she has the attention, if she is loved, if she has someone to her expectations.
We both did that in the relationship as well so don't try to play it like it's one sided and all I did was string you around. Don't make it sound like I'm the bad guy. Don't talk shit about me just because you're upset it ended.
I'm really disappointed in you. This was a high school relationship, that failed. Just because I didn't want to be your girlfriend, didn't mean that I didn't care. I still think about a lot. I took a big chance by telling you that but you don't even seem to acknowledge it because you're so busying pitying yourself.
All I can do right now is think about the good times. The good times that were a long time ago before everything became mucked up. I think if I had ended it sooner, when I first thought of the idea, when I first started to notice that things were going downhill maybe things wouldn't have become so disarray, but then again I think that no matter what you were bound to get hurt so I apologize.
I've apologized for a lot of the things I've done but once again, you're too busy playing Star Wars, too busy distracting yourself, too busy bitching about your parents to even notice.
One more thing, stop bad-mouthing me to my friends. You have friends, Adil-Mike-James-ect. Talk to them. Chances are, they aren't going to rat you out and tell me that all you do is bitch about me.
It's over. It's done. We gave it a really good try and put a lot into it and I know that I have something to show for it, but apparantly unless the relationship leads up to marriage...you don't.
I was really good to you, and you were really good to me. At times I didn't give enough but I didn't realize that until you told me...it's not fair that I be held responsible for the entire blame of the relationship failing.
It didn't work.
It would have never worked.
We both tried, and we both made some nice memories together.
If you ever stop acting like this, and you need someone to talk to-
someone who's going to give you the truth without any strings attatched,
someone who's not going to give you a half-assed answer,
someone who actually gives a damn about you,
then you know who to call.
Until then, please just shut the fuck up.
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