(no subject)
last night was one of the most terrible nights i will ever have to have in my entire life.
im sick and tired and over with doing things this way.
i'm no longer going to be dramatic and clingy and hoping for\seeing things that arent there.
i'm done with being pathetic and practically begging.
this might only make sense to me, but for once i'm going to trust in the fact that if something is going to happen, it will happen. as much as a part of me is scared of people forgetting about me and nothing ever happening, i'm going to trust in something completely blind. something i know will never be.
and to trust in this, i have to completely keep it inside myself.
so now, when i'm sad, noones guna know it
and even if anyone knows it, noones guna know why.
i'm done with being the one that noone trys for
i'm done being rejected
i'm done with having the chance at getting something\getting it only because i make it too much of an option
i'm done with being felt bad for or being someone's 'standby'
and theres all these things im done with
so i guess theres a few im starting
im starting to be myself
and im starting to actually be alone
so i'm waiting for someone to find me
i'm waiting for someone i can be myself around
and i'm waiting for them to push me out of this shell
and if there's noone who will ever do that without me constantly telling them i want them to
then i guess i'll be waiting for a while
<33333333333XoXOoXOoXOXoXoxoXOXoXoXoXOXoXOXoX <3333333333333333333333
<.>0(6(6(_*aLaNnA*_)9)9)0<.>
im sick and tired and over with doing things this way.
i'm no longer going to be dramatic and clingy and hoping for\seeing things that arent there.
i'm done with being pathetic and practically begging.
this might only make sense to me, but for once i'm going to trust in the fact that if something is going to happen, it will happen. as much as a part of me is scared of people forgetting about me and nothing ever happening, i'm going to trust in something completely blind. something i know will never be.
and to trust in this, i have to completely keep it inside myself.
so now, when i'm sad, noones guna know it
and even if anyone knows it, noones guna know why.
i'm done with being the one that noone trys for
i'm done being rejected
i'm done with having the chance at getting something\getting it only because i make it too much of an option
i'm done with being felt bad for or being someone's 'standby'
and theres all these things im done with
so i guess theres a few im starting
im starting to be myself
and im starting to actually be alone
so i'm waiting for someone to find me
i'm waiting for someone i can be myself around
and i'm waiting for them to push me out of this shell
and if there's noone who will ever do that without me constantly telling them i want them to
then i guess i'll be waiting for a while
<33333333333XoXOoXOoXOXoXoxoXOXoXoXoXOXoXOXoX <3333333333333333333333
<.>0(6(6(_*aLaNnA*_)9)9)0<.>