(no subject)
I usually love the rain. I usually walk in it or sit and listen to/watch it. I usually love the smell. And how pretty the mountains looks after a storm.
But, I don't really care that it is raining. Actually, I'm not sure if saying 'I don't care' is the proper phrase to use but I feel startlingly void. I feel no connection to anything around me. Anyone or anything. I reached a point after a series of events on Monday that it felt like something sort of .. broke. Like nothing matters. I don't want to see anyone. Talk to anyone. Nothing.
I don't remember the drive home yesterday. Except the few times I started crying stimulated by certain lyrics. I went straight to the shower once I got home & that was it. IF something were to happen soon, I'm not even sure I'd want to do the things I was so excited about doing and planning before. The thought of it all is sort of off putting.
I have no appetite. My stomach hurts. I'm cold. I'm tired. I'm just done. With it all.
I don't know what to say anymore. I've exhausted my feelings for everyone & everything.
I guess what it comes down to is, I feel like I'm losing myself again.
Pathetic.
But, I don't really care that it is raining. Actually, I'm not sure if saying 'I don't care' is the proper phrase to use but I feel startlingly void. I feel no connection to anything around me. Anyone or anything. I reached a point after a series of events on Monday that it felt like something sort of .. broke. Like nothing matters. I don't want to see anyone. Talk to anyone. Nothing.
I don't remember the drive home yesterday. Except the few times I started crying stimulated by certain lyrics. I went straight to the shower once I got home & that was it. IF something were to happen soon, I'm not even sure I'd want to do the things I was so excited about doing and planning before. The thought of it all is sort of off putting.
I have no appetite. My stomach hurts. I'm cold. I'm tired. I'm just done. With it all.
I don't know what to say anymore. I've exhausted my feelings for everyone & everything.
I guess what it comes down to is, I feel like I'm losing myself again.
Pathetic.