Worth Waiting--Chapter 4
When you close your eyes it hurts you but you try
To stay asleep until the morning
Two days later.
I’m so sorry…we can’t end it like this…we need to talk. Can you meet me?
Two days after that.
We’re going to have to talk sometime. Name the place and time and I’ll be there.
2 weeks later
I miss you.
A few months after that.
So you were right…Holly was just using me. I should always trust you. We should get together next time you’re in town. I’ve been recording a lot lately....
You went about my usual business without replying to any of his texts. You didn’t know what to say and it was just too much for you to process. You wanted to push your feelings for Lee as far away as possible because you know it’ll never work and breaking your heart wasn’t part of whatever went on between you too. Instead you placed all your energy into your teaching. You loved working with the kids and spent most of your spare time preparing for the classroom and working on your portfolio. When others were going out for thirsty Thursday, you stayed in and far away from alcohol. You were finally feeling good about your life when something changed that.
You had just come home from a long day with the 2nd graders and all you wanted to do was watch trashy television and eat a pint of ice cream. You grab your mail as you make your way to your front door. You look through it, a few bills, a letter from your mom, some ads, and various junk mail. When you get to the last piece, you don’t recognize the handwriting and it feels like its more then just a letter. Letting yourself into your apartment, you throw the rest of the mail on the counter and hold the mysterious envelop in your hands. You take a seat on the couch and open it slowly, having a weird feeling about what could be inside it. You first take out a CD, it’s not labeled at all, and just looks like a CD anyone could burn from a home computer. You then take out a piece of notebook paper and unfold it.
I know you don’t want to talk to me and I pretty much deserve it…but I had to send this letter to at least try and say I’m sorry. I am sorry…about all those words and everything that went on that morning. I’ve been kicking myself everyday for letting you walk out the door and not taking everything back. I know this isn’t going to make things any better, but I just wanted to at least make another attempt at saying I’m sorry. I enclosed an advanced copy of my CD that’s coming out in a few weeks. I owe this all to you my oldest friend…you’ve believed in me from the beginning. So thank you…with all my heart. Listen to track 4.
Love,
Lee
PS: I’m never going to stop saying I’m sorry.
You look over the letter a few times, expecting it to say something else each time you do. But the words are still there and right then he’s back in your life again. You pick up the CD and walk to your CD player and pop it in, moving to track 4 right away.
They said it's better to have loved and lost Then to have never loved at all But all I really needed was time Someone that could show me a sign All I ever wanted, all I ever needed was time
The song is beautiful and you can’t believe you’re actually listening to a CD of your oldest friend singing his own songs. The whole CD is incredible and you sigh with a smile. You always knew he could do it and now he was. You sat there listening to the CD over and over for a good 3 hours when you decided you needed to let him know how proud of him you are. You grab your cell phone and beginning typing a message. It takes you a good 10 minutes of deleting and rewriting before you send it.
I just got your letter and CD…which is amazing. Your lyrics are beautiful and so is everything else about it. I’m so proud and happy to be your friend. Good Luck rockstar
You send it before you can think about it. You sigh as you start to make dinner and continue to listen to his album. A few minutes later you hear your phone ring. You move towards it and read the text that’s on the screen.
So you’re not mad at me anymore?
You laugh with a smile. Everything you wrote and that’s all he cares about. You begin typing back to him.
Hmm…I’ll have to think about that one. I guess we can be friends…I don’t even think we really are? Like we see each other maybe every 2 years…
A few minutes later he texts back.
WOW that hurt! If it were up to me, we’d see each other sooner…
You shake your head and type back a response quickly.
Well maybe that can be arranged…
From then on you are both texting and talking on the phone everyday. You complain about your long days in class and he talks about how excited he is to be recording and getting to do shows a few times a week. He tells you how his CD is getting good reviews from critics in Chicago and how people from your hometown are calling him up for interviews. You love how he always sounds so excited and live for his phone calls on a daily basis.
Things are good between you two and it stays like this for a long time. Summer comes and goes, you spending as much time with him as possible, going to concerts together, getting drinks (without you getting drunk and stupid), and watching him take stage across Chicago. Your summer is perfect together and you hate it when August rolls around and it’s time for you to go back to school. He helps you pack up your car and you’re sad to see your time together end.
He puts the last of your things into the back of your Jeep and closes the trunk. He puts his hands in his pocket and looks towards you. You can tell he’s sad to see you leave. You wish you didn’t have to say goodbye. He breaks the silence first, “So..we’ll see each other soon. I’ll come and visit you in a few weeks and you can come back and watch me play every so often.”
You nod your head as you move towards him, “That sounds good…” You say as your voice trails off. Tears are starting to spring to your eyes. He takes his hands out of his pockets and pulls you towards him. He’s hugging you now and whispering into your ear.
“This summer was amazing…” He says simply as he kisses you lightly on the head and rubs your back. “It’s time for you to go teach those kiddos some reading and math!” He lets you go and smiles. “Maybe you can tell them you know a rockstar…they’d love that!”
You burst into laughter, “I’d tell them your name and they’d be like…WHO?” You tease as you begin to push your tears away from your eyes. You wave to him as you make your way to the other side of the car. “See you soon rockstar…” You call out to him as you get in and start your car. He waves with a laugh as you back out of the driveway. You watch him as you drive out of sight, all the memories of the summer running through your mind.