To Make You Feel My Love
And the whole world is on your case
I can offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
2:44AM the red numbers of the clock said from across the room. She had been staring at it for over 3 hours; her eyes were still not heavy, her body still not tired; her brain still searching for answers. Sighing, she sits up, and pushes the hair out of her face. The rain was pounding against the windows and thunder rumbled through the sky. Giving up sleep, she got out of bed and made her way downstairs. Grabbing a beer from the refrigerator, she took a swig, and walks towards the living room. Taking a seat on the couch, she pulls her feet up under her and grabs her guitar. She strums a few cords and rolls her eyes.
“Why am I doing this to myself?” She questions her self aloud, annoyed with her feelings.
This had been an every night occurrence for the last 14 nights and it was getting old. She only slept a total of 2 hours a night and it was taking a toll on her. Dark circles hung under her eyes and her skin looked pale. Everyone had begun to notice it too and often questioned if she was feeling okay. She always said the same thing, Little Tony had been up all night with nightmares, but that was far from the truth.
It was him. It had been weeks since she last saw him, the night he confessed his feelings again (but they were different that time), the night they got into a fight for the umpteenth time over the same damn thing. She missed him terribly and often reached for her cell phone when she was excited over writing a new song, incredibly angry at her work schedule, or just whenever she needed to hear his voice, but she knew she couldn’t do that.
Taking another swig of beer, she pushed the tears from her eyes. She needed to stop doing this; she needed to get Lee Freaking DeWyze out of her brain and her heart.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
It was the day before the final show on American Idol and her world seemed to shatter around her. She was tired, unsure of her songs, and to make matters worse her and Big Tony were having problems. He said he couldn’t deal with the life of being a boyfriend of someone in the spotlight. They decided mutually to just be friends, but they still cared for one another.
Lee instantly knew something was wrong with her when he watched her soundcheck from backstage at the Nokia Theater. She seemed different, unsure of herself, and kept completely forgetting her lyrics. She had lost that sparkle in her eyes, her stance was different, and her body was stiff as she strummed her guitar along to “Black Velvet.” All of the sudden she stopped mid song and shook her head.
“This isn’t working…I need a break,” She sighed, pushing the microphone stand away from her and walking backstage.
Lee ran towards the couch and grabbed his guitar, trying to make it seem as he wasn’t watching her. He looked up at her as she came in; tears were beginning to fall down her face. Setting down his guitar, he moved towards her.
“Crystal…are you okay?” He questioned her softly, touching her shoulder lightly.
Pushing the tears away from her eyes with the back of her thumbs, she nodded, placing a fake smile on her face, “Yeah I’m fine, just tired is all. I think my blood sugar is down, I’m going to go grab a soda…” She replied without a thought, moving away from him slightly.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace, “I know something is wrong Crystal…I was watching you out there and everything was just…not you.”
She tensed up at his touch, trying to push him away, “I told you I’m fine!” She cried out suddenly. She shook her head, tears now falling freely down her cheeks. Lee pulled her tighter and let her cry. They stood like that for several minutes, her in his arms, his hands rubbing her back, to calm her.
She looked up at him, “I’m sorry…” She said softly with a small laugh. “I’m just overwhelmed, tired, and Tony broke up with me…” She said without a breath.
“He what?” Lee questioned agitated.
She shook her head, “It wasn’t just him…we decided it would be better if we just broke up now. He didn’t want to move out to Los Angeles and he didn’t want to be in the spotlight…”
He shakes his head, rolling his eyes, “He should have known what he was getting into when you two started dating. You were destined to be a star Crystal.”
She hit him lightly, “Whatever Lee…whatever. It just sucks is all. I love him and I can’t stop loving him, even though he doesn’t love me…it seems.”
“Whatever Crystal! You know you’re amazing. You’re talented, beautiful, funny, smart, a great mom…I could go on…” He said with a laugh, brushing her dreads away from her face. “If he’s going to be like that, he doesn’t deserve you…you deserve someone who wants EVERYTHING for you, someone who doesn’t care about all the hoopla that comes along with being an American Idol.”
She laughs, shaking her head, “You know you’re going to be the next American Idol!”
He shakes his head back at her, “Never. You’re the next American Idol. You’re my Idol!” He cries out, with his hand over his heart.
“I still don’t believe you…but thanks for making me feel better Lee, you always know how to make me smile.” She says with a giggle as she kisses him lightly on the cheek.
“Anytime. You know you’re going to win…but you better get out there and practice those songs. You kinda sucked before…I don’t want to get made fun of for voting for you 300 times tonight!” He jokes lightly as he picks up his guitar and smiles. “You’re truly amazing Crystal and if he doesn’t see that, then he’s not worth one tear.”
She shrugs her shoulders as she walks back out onto stage, shaking her head, and laughing. She grabs her guitar and begins the first chords of “Black Velvet,” rocking it out just like the old Crystal.
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
They met the first day of American Idol auditions in Chicago and there was something there from the moment they met. They instantly gravitated towards one another and acted as if they had known each other for years. They sat there for hours together, just talking, and getting to know one another. They even played a few songs together and began writing a silly little song about sitting there waiting to be auditioned.
It was her turn to go in first and she was nervous. She was doing this for her son and normally wouldn’t have even tried out in the first place, but she wanted a better life for him.
He gave her a smile and a high five, “You’re going to do great in there Crystal, you have nothing to worry about.”
She laughed lightly, “Thanks. You’re going to do great too. They’re going to love your rocker voice and your 8 Mile look.” She jokes, punching him in the arm.
He gets up, acting hurt, “I thought we were friends!” He cried, sticking out his tongue at her. “What you don’t like the hoodie?” He questions holding it up.
“Not really…and those pants? We’re not in 1998 dude, it’s 2009…and you’re white.” She says with all seriousness.
“Whatever. They’re going to love what I’m wearing. It’s comfortable and me. At least I’m not wearing a bikini or something…” He says with laugh.
It was her turn to go in. She turns with a smile, “Great meeting you. Hopefully we’ll see each other again.”
“I’ll see you on television!” He says with a laugh, giving her a quick hug.
“Whatever, you know you’re going to get through too. I’ll see you in Hollywood! Good luck.” She grabs her guitar and walks towards the door.
He smiles and waves as she walks away. He would definitely be looking for her if he got through to Hollywood, she was interesting, funny, a great musician, and beautiful to boot, too bad she has a boyfriend, he thought.
That day ended in 2 golden tickets, one for her, and one for him. Who knew that it would be the 2 of them from now until the end?
I’d go hungry I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
No there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
It was the final night of the tour and after midnight when the top 10 made it to a bar in Indianapolis. They were all running on highs, but sad that this was their final night playing together. Andrew suggested they go to some bar he had heard about from a fan that was open late. Everyone agreed and there they were. Shots were had by all (except Katie and Aaron of course).
“I want to thank each and every one of you for making these last 2 months the most awesome of my life!” Andrew said as he handed a shot to everyone.
“I couldn’t imagine doing this without any of you!” Didi said with a smile, getting ready to take the shot of tequila.
“Love you guys!” Crystal cried before they all took their shots.
It was after 3am when they finally made it back to their hotel rooms. Tired and a little drunk, Crystal searched for her room key. She looked in her pockets, in her purse, but it was no where. Sighing, she tried to remember who was rooming next to her. Taking a guess, she went to the right and knocked on the door.
“Andrew…come on dude, I’m tired.” Lee called out as he made it to the door and opened it to Crystal. “Oh…Crystal…sorry I thought you were Andrew.” He apologized.
She blushed a little as she looked at him, “I lost my hotel room key and I need somewhere to crash, any chance there’s room for a crazy drunk who looses things?” She questions with a laugh.
“Of course…come on in.” He says, letting her into the room and shutting the door behind her. “I was just getting ready to get in bed.”
“Oh…sorry about that.” She says, putting her purse in a chair near the bed. “You don’t have to stay up with me.”
He shrugs, “No it’s cool. I’m still a little drunk and happy. I just can’t believe the tour is over.”
She shakes her head in agreement, “It sure went fast…but I’m glad it’s over. Now we can work on our albums and start our own tour. I’m excited.” She says giddily.
He walks over and opens up the screen to the balcony, “Want to sit out here for a while?” He questions her as he walks out onto the balcony.
She agrees and follows him out to the balcony. They sit there for hours, talking, reminiscing, and discussing what they’re going to do next. Before they know it the sun is coming up and its morning. She lets out a yawn and a sigh. He laughs and grabs her hand and pulls her up from the chair. He puts her arm around her shoulders.
“I’m glad we got this time to talk and hang out…without anyone else.” He explains to her as they move towards the bed.
“Me too.” She agrees as she pulls the covers down from the corner of the bed and gets in.
He does the same on the other side of the bed and gets in also. Their backs are turned towards each other. He sighs and pulls the covers over both of them.
“Love you Mama Sox.” He says softly before closing his eyes.
She smiles with a quiet laugh, “Love you too DeWyze.”
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though the winds of change are throwing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet
After the tour was over they parted ways, Lee went back to LA to record his album, and Crystal took a few weeks off back in Ohio to visit family. The days moved into weeks, and weeks into months. Sure, they talked pretty much everyday and saw each other every so often in LA, but things weren’t the same as before.
A few days before Lee had called Crystal and invited her to his album release party in LA. He explained all the Top 10 Idols were going to be there and that it was his final night in LA before he went off to promote his album and begin his North American concert tour. Of course she agreed without him even explaining the whole shebang, telling him she’d see him in a few days.
When Monday night rolled around, she was nervous, and excited for what the night would bring. It had been a long time since she’d seen all her Idol friends and she was looking forward to celebrating Lee’s success with him.
She put on her favorite black dress and her worn cowboy boots, pull her hair back from her face, and using smoky liner to line the outside of her eyes. To top it off, she swiped a little light pink lip gloss across her lips. She smiled at her reflection before heading out the door.
The party was already rocking when she walked in a little after 8:30. Music from Lee’s album blasted through the speakers and images of him from Idol and various other pictures flashed across the screen in the front of the room. People were gathered talking and drinking in groups throughout the room. Her eyes moved around looking for his spiky hair and usual Converse. She saw him in the corner of the room talking to a group of suits, looking rather bored out of his mind. She stuck her tongue out at him and waved with a laugh. She watched as he thanked them for coming and bid them farewell. He came running towards her with a goofy smile on his face and enveloping her in a giant bear hug.
“Finally someone that doesn’t give a crap about sales projections, wardrobe, or scripting what I’m going to say in my 200 interviews that I have to do tomorrow…” He said with a sigh as he spun her around with a smile.
She giggled, hating herself for letting herself feel like a teenager, “Wow…this whole party is for you? Who would have thought that the baggy-pantsed boy from Illinois with a bad-boy past would have made it this far?” She laughed jokingly, as she punched him in the chest.
He rolled his eyes as he let go of her, “Let’s go do some shots…that is the only way I’m going to be able to get through this night!” He said with a laugh as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bar on the far side of the room.
4 tequila shots later, he was pulled back into the real world of sales projections, wardrobe, and scripted answers. He sighed, pulling her into a hug, and telling her he’d be back as soon as he could. She went and joined the rest of the Idols who were hanging out at a table near the far side of the room. They were laughing and reminiscing about their time on Idol and the tour. She had missed them a lot since the tour and often felt really lonely without them. She made her way towards the table and took a seat next to Didi and Big Mike.
They sat together, drinking, and talking for several hours, until it got to be late. Big Mike had to head home to see his family who had flown into LA to visit while he worked on his album, Casey was heading back to Nashville the next day to open up for Keith Urban, Aaron had to make it back for the rest of Homecoming week at his high school, and the rest of them needed to get some sleep before heading back to their respective hometowns the following day. Crystal hugged each of them goodbye and told them she’d visit them when she started her own tour at the beginning of the year.
Looking around the room she noticed Lee, leaning against the wall talking animatedly about something or other. She watched him as he got excited and rocked back and forth on his Chucks. She loved seeing him like this. She imagined him talking about the tour and how he was really excited about meeting the fans, doing his own set, and proving to people he was a real musician. She sat that way for several minutes watching him, a smile placed across her lips. From her purse, her cell phone buzzed. She took it out and glanced at it.
Bored yet? I should be done in a few minutes…I need to talk to you…so don’t go anywhere-Lee
She smiled as nodded towards him, texting back.
God, you’re taking forever…I would think it’s your party or something…haha.
She watched him as he laughed lightly at her text and went back to talking to his manager and several other suits. Finally they stopped talking and he made his way over to her. His smile made the butterflies in her stomach multiple by 3000.
“Finally…” He replied in a tired breath as he took her hand and led her out of the room. “I think it’s time…” He replied his lips tight as he pulled her towards a secluded room near the far end of the building.
She followed him without question as he pulled her into a secluded room and closed the door behind him. He flipped on the lights and made his way over to a couch in the center of the room. She watched him, not sure what this all about. He motioned for her to come take a seat next to him on the couch. She did as was asked and took a seat on the couch next to him.
“So…” She said casually, wondering what was up.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I need to talk to you about something…” He said with hesitation.
She laughed nervously, “So spit it out Lee…when has it ever been weird for us to talk?” She questioned him, punching him in the shoulder lightly.
He faked a laugh and turned towards her, taking her hands into his, “Well this isn’t the sort of talk we’ve ever had before…” He said with a shrug, his blue eyes finding hers.
She moved nervously away from him, this was getting awkward. Biting her lip she replied quietly, “Ok…”
Suddenly his lips crashed against hers, one hand finding her dreads, and the other cupping her face. At first it was weird, but she went along with it, kissing him back as well. It felt natural and wonderful, but different in so many ways. They were best friends, not lovers and she wasn’t too sure where this would bring them now. Her thoughts drifted back to Big Tony, they had been talking a lot lately, and it looked like they might be getting back together. It hurt her heart when she pushed Lee away and jumped away from him, moving towards the door.
She saw the hurt in his eyes from across the room as he searched for the words, “Wait…” Was all that came out, jumbled, and half lost in hurt.
She shook her head, “I just can’t do this…” Was all she said simply.
His voice turned confused as he tried to understand, “Didn’t you just feel something when I kissed you? It changed everything for me…I’ve loved you since the beginning and it’s not just a friendly kind of love. I love you Crystal…”
She struggled with words, trying to come up with something that made sense to him, “Lee you’re my brother…we’re friends and nothing else. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel any differently.”
He moved towards her, grabbing for the door so she couldn’t get away, “Wow…I guess I really got the signals mixed up then? You call me all the time, we flirt, we sleep in the same bed together…we have so much chemistry…I guess that’s what you do with your brother, right?” He was getting angry and defensive now; she could tell he was really hurt.
Tears began to fall from her face, she had never seen him like this before, “I think I should go…” She replied quietly, as she reached for the door.
He drew in a large breath as he let the door open for her, it all sunk in then; he knew it was all over between them now. Whatever they had, it was all over now, “Goodbye Crystal…” He said simply as he watched her walk out that door and out of his life forever.
I could make you happy make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
Tears fell from her eyes as she thought back to everything that went down between the 2 of them. The way her heart hurt and the way that her body longed for his touch, made her mad as she took an angry swig from her beer. She had never felt this way in her life and it was making her sick to her stomach. She strummed on her guitar without promise as she looked at the clock across the room. All of the sudden it hit her. She loved him. Not the type of brother-sister love or the friends type love, but actually romantic, can’t live without one another love. Her breath caught in her throat at the realization, why had it taken her so long to realize this? Without thinking, she grabbed her phone and dialed his number.
It rang 3 times before he picked up, sounding groggy, “What’s wrong?” He questioned right away, no hi’s or small talk. She should have expected it; they haven’t talked for a month.
She took a breath and let it all out, “Where are you? I need to see you like…yesterday…” She paused, waiting for a response.
She could hear question in his voice as he responded, “I’m in Chicago…I had a few days off and came to visit my family. What’s going on Crystal? You sound weird…”
“We need to talk…I’m coming to Chicago. Will you come pick me up from the airport? I’ll text you my flight number and time and all that….” She explained as she moved towards her laptop, looking up flights from LA to Chicago as fast at she could.
“Sure.” Was all he said as she closed the phone and bought the next ticket to LA.
The next few hours were all a blur to her. She packed a bag in record speed, threw it in the back of her car, and sped down to LAX as fast as she could. Her flight was in exactly an hour and a half. She would be in Chicago before 7AM. She texted Lee her flight information and he texted back telling her he’d be there and to fly safe. She boarded the flight and tried to sleep through the 2 and half hour plan ride, but she couldn’t. The butterflies in her stomach kept getting bigger and bigger as the plane came closer to Chicago. Finally a little after 7AM, her plane landed and she was in Chicago. Grabbing her bag, she made her way off the airplane and towards the terminal.
She looked around for him, hoping he was already waiting for her at the terminal. She had to tell him and soon, before she chickened out and headed straight back to LA. Her eyes glanced nervously around before spotting him, leaning against the wall. He looked tired and uneasy, wearing a black hoodie, jeans, and his normal Chucks. She ran towards him, tears springing to her eyes already.
She threw her arms around him as she tried to explain, “I’m so sorry…I was scared…I haven’t slept…I need to talk to you…I think I love you…” Was all that came out, all jumbled and garbled, not the way she had it planned.
He laughed lightly at her and he hugged her, “Hi to you too…” He rubbed her back as he went on, “So you think you love me?” He questioned with his crooked half smile.
“I know I love you…” She replied looking him straight in the eye. “Always have and always will…it just took me a long time to realize it…”
Before she could say another word, his mouth was on hers, and this time she didn’t push him away. They stood in the middle of O’Hare airport and kissed, fireworks exploding, music playing, everything you would expect in a kiss of that magnitude.
“So what do you want to do now?” He questioned as he took her bag in one hand and her hand in another.
She eyed him with a laugh, “All I want to do right now is get to bed…”
He eyed her back mysteriously, “You bad girl you…” He replied with laugh.
She punched him in the chest, “Not in that way…” She replied her eyes big. “Ok maybe in that way…
I can offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
2:44AM the red numbers of the clock said from across the room. She had been staring at it for over 3 hours; her eyes were still not heavy, her body still not tired; her brain still searching for answers. Sighing, she sits up, and pushes the hair out of her face. The rain was pounding against the windows and thunder rumbled through the sky. Giving up sleep, she got out of bed and made her way downstairs. Grabbing a beer from the refrigerator, she took a swig, and walks towards the living room. Taking a seat on the couch, she pulls her feet up under her and grabs her guitar. She strums a few cords and rolls her eyes.
“Why am I doing this to myself?” She questions her self aloud, annoyed with her feelings.
This had been an every night occurrence for the last 14 nights and it was getting old. She only slept a total of 2 hours a night and it was taking a toll on her. Dark circles hung under her eyes and her skin looked pale. Everyone had begun to notice it too and often questioned if she was feeling okay. She always said the same thing, Little Tony had been up all night with nightmares, but that was far from the truth.
It was him. It had been weeks since she last saw him, the night he confessed his feelings again (but they were different that time), the night they got into a fight for the umpteenth time over the same damn thing. She missed him terribly and often reached for her cell phone when she was excited over writing a new song, incredibly angry at her work schedule, or just whenever she needed to hear his voice, but she knew she couldn’t do that.
Taking another swig of beer, she pushed the tears from her eyes. She needed to stop doing this; she needed to get Lee Freaking DeWyze out of her brain and her heart.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
It was the day before the final show on American Idol and her world seemed to shatter around her. She was tired, unsure of her songs, and to make matters worse her and Big Tony were having problems. He said he couldn’t deal with the life of being a boyfriend of someone in the spotlight. They decided mutually to just be friends, but they still cared for one another.
Lee instantly knew something was wrong with her when he watched her soundcheck from backstage at the Nokia Theater. She seemed different, unsure of herself, and kept completely forgetting her lyrics. She had lost that sparkle in her eyes, her stance was different, and her body was stiff as she strummed her guitar along to “Black Velvet.” All of the sudden she stopped mid song and shook her head.
“This isn’t working…I need a break,” She sighed, pushing the microphone stand away from her and walking backstage.
Lee ran towards the couch and grabbed his guitar, trying to make it seem as he wasn’t watching her. He looked up at her as she came in; tears were beginning to fall down her face. Setting down his guitar, he moved towards her.
“Crystal…are you okay?” He questioned her softly, touching her shoulder lightly.
Pushing the tears away from her eyes with the back of her thumbs, she nodded, placing a fake smile on her face, “Yeah I’m fine, just tired is all. I think my blood sugar is down, I’m going to go grab a soda…” She replied without a thought, moving away from him slightly.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace, “I know something is wrong Crystal…I was watching you out there and everything was just…not you.”
She tensed up at his touch, trying to push him away, “I told you I’m fine!” She cried out suddenly. She shook her head, tears now falling freely down her cheeks. Lee pulled her tighter and let her cry. They stood like that for several minutes, her in his arms, his hands rubbing her back, to calm her.
She looked up at him, “I’m sorry…” She said softly with a small laugh. “I’m just overwhelmed, tired, and Tony broke up with me…” She said without a breath.
“He what?” Lee questioned agitated.
She shook her head, “It wasn’t just him…we decided it would be better if we just broke up now. He didn’t want to move out to Los Angeles and he didn’t want to be in the spotlight…”
He shakes his head, rolling his eyes, “He should have known what he was getting into when you two started dating. You were destined to be a star Crystal.”
She hit him lightly, “Whatever Lee…whatever. It just sucks is all. I love him and I can’t stop loving him, even though he doesn’t love me…it seems.”
“Whatever Crystal! You know you’re amazing. You’re talented, beautiful, funny, smart, a great mom…I could go on…” He said with a laugh, brushing her dreads away from her face. “If he’s going to be like that, he doesn’t deserve you…you deserve someone who wants EVERYTHING for you, someone who doesn’t care about all the hoopla that comes along with being an American Idol.”
She laughs, shaking her head, “You know you’re going to be the next American Idol!”
He shakes his head back at her, “Never. You’re the next American Idol. You’re my Idol!” He cries out, with his hand over his heart.
“I still don’t believe you…but thanks for making me feel better Lee, you always know how to make me smile.” She says with a giggle as she kisses him lightly on the cheek.
“Anytime. You know you’re going to win…but you better get out there and practice those songs. You kinda sucked before…I don’t want to get made fun of for voting for you 300 times tonight!” He jokes lightly as he picks up his guitar and smiles. “You’re truly amazing Crystal and if he doesn’t see that, then he’s not worth one tear.”
She shrugs her shoulders as she walks back out onto stage, shaking her head, and laughing. She grabs her guitar and begins the first chords of “Black Velvet,” rocking it out just like the old Crystal.
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
They met the first day of American Idol auditions in Chicago and there was something there from the moment they met. They instantly gravitated towards one another and acted as if they had known each other for years. They sat there for hours together, just talking, and getting to know one another. They even played a few songs together and began writing a silly little song about sitting there waiting to be auditioned.
It was her turn to go in first and she was nervous. She was doing this for her son and normally wouldn’t have even tried out in the first place, but she wanted a better life for him.
He gave her a smile and a high five, “You’re going to do great in there Crystal, you have nothing to worry about.”
She laughed lightly, “Thanks. You’re going to do great too. They’re going to love your rocker voice and your 8 Mile look.” She jokes, punching him in the arm.
He gets up, acting hurt, “I thought we were friends!” He cried, sticking out his tongue at her. “What you don’t like the hoodie?” He questions holding it up.
“Not really…and those pants? We’re not in 1998 dude, it’s 2009…and you’re white.” She says with all seriousness.
“Whatever. They’re going to love what I’m wearing. It’s comfortable and me. At least I’m not wearing a bikini or something…” He says with laugh.
It was her turn to go in. She turns with a smile, “Great meeting you. Hopefully we’ll see each other again.”
“I’ll see you on television!” He says with a laugh, giving her a quick hug.
“Whatever, you know you’re going to get through too. I’ll see you in Hollywood! Good luck.” She grabs her guitar and walks towards the door.
He smiles and waves as she walks away. He would definitely be looking for her if he got through to Hollywood, she was interesting, funny, a great musician, and beautiful to boot, too bad she has a boyfriend, he thought.
That day ended in 2 golden tickets, one for her, and one for him. Who knew that it would be the 2 of them from now until the end?
I’d go hungry I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
No there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
It was the final night of the tour and after midnight when the top 10 made it to a bar in Indianapolis. They were all running on highs, but sad that this was their final night playing together. Andrew suggested they go to some bar he had heard about from a fan that was open late. Everyone agreed and there they were. Shots were had by all (except Katie and Aaron of course).
“I want to thank each and every one of you for making these last 2 months the most awesome of my life!” Andrew said as he handed a shot to everyone.
“I couldn’t imagine doing this without any of you!” Didi said with a smile, getting ready to take the shot of tequila.
“Love you guys!” Crystal cried before they all took their shots.
It was after 3am when they finally made it back to their hotel rooms. Tired and a little drunk, Crystal searched for her room key. She looked in her pockets, in her purse, but it was no where. Sighing, she tried to remember who was rooming next to her. Taking a guess, she went to the right and knocked on the door.
“Andrew…come on dude, I’m tired.” Lee called out as he made it to the door and opened it to Crystal. “Oh…Crystal…sorry I thought you were Andrew.” He apologized.
She blushed a little as she looked at him, “I lost my hotel room key and I need somewhere to crash, any chance there’s room for a crazy drunk who looses things?” She questions with a laugh.
“Of course…come on in.” He says, letting her into the room and shutting the door behind her. “I was just getting ready to get in bed.”
“Oh…sorry about that.” She says, putting her purse in a chair near the bed. “You don’t have to stay up with me.”
He shrugs, “No it’s cool. I’m still a little drunk and happy. I just can’t believe the tour is over.”
She shakes her head in agreement, “It sure went fast…but I’m glad it’s over. Now we can work on our albums and start our own tour. I’m excited.” She says giddily.
He walks over and opens up the screen to the balcony, “Want to sit out here for a while?” He questions her as he walks out onto the balcony.
She agrees and follows him out to the balcony. They sit there for hours, talking, reminiscing, and discussing what they’re going to do next. Before they know it the sun is coming up and its morning. She lets out a yawn and a sigh. He laughs and grabs her hand and pulls her up from the chair. He puts her arm around her shoulders.
“I’m glad we got this time to talk and hang out…without anyone else.” He explains to her as they move towards the bed.
“Me too.” She agrees as she pulls the covers down from the corner of the bed and gets in.
He does the same on the other side of the bed and gets in also. Their backs are turned towards each other. He sighs and pulls the covers over both of them.
“Love you Mama Sox.” He says softly before closing his eyes.
She smiles with a quiet laugh, “Love you too DeWyze.”
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though the winds of change are throwing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet
After the tour was over they parted ways, Lee went back to LA to record his album, and Crystal took a few weeks off back in Ohio to visit family. The days moved into weeks, and weeks into months. Sure, they talked pretty much everyday and saw each other every so often in LA, but things weren’t the same as before.
A few days before Lee had called Crystal and invited her to his album release party in LA. He explained all the Top 10 Idols were going to be there and that it was his final night in LA before he went off to promote his album and begin his North American concert tour. Of course she agreed without him even explaining the whole shebang, telling him she’d see him in a few days.
When Monday night rolled around, she was nervous, and excited for what the night would bring. It had been a long time since she’d seen all her Idol friends and she was looking forward to celebrating Lee’s success with him.
She put on her favorite black dress and her worn cowboy boots, pull her hair back from her face, and using smoky liner to line the outside of her eyes. To top it off, she swiped a little light pink lip gloss across her lips. She smiled at her reflection before heading out the door.
The party was already rocking when she walked in a little after 8:30. Music from Lee’s album blasted through the speakers and images of him from Idol and various other pictures flashed across the screen in the front of the room. People were gathered talking and drinking in groups throughout the room. Her eyes moved around looking for his spiky hair and usual Converse. She saw him in the corner of the room talking to a group of suits, looking rather bored out of his mind. She stuck her tongue out at him and waved with a laugh. She watched as he thanked them for coming and bid them farewell. He came running towards her with a goofy smile on his face and enveloping her in a giant bear hug.
“Finally someone that doesn’t give a crap about sales projections, wardrobe, or scripting what I’m going to say in my 200 interviews that I have to do tomorrow…” He said with a sigh as he spun her around with a smile.
She giggled, hating herself for letting herself feel like a teenager, “Wow…this whole party is for you? Who would have thought that the baggy-pantsed boy from Illinois with a bad-boy past would have made it this far?” She laughed jokingly, as she punched him in the chest.
He rolled his eyes as he let go of her, “Let’s go do some shots…that is the only way I’m going to be able to get through this night!” He said with a laugh as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bar on the far side of the room.
4 tequila shots later, he was pulled back into the real world of sales projections, wardrobe, and scripted answers. He sighed, pulling her into a hug, and telling her he’d be back as soon as he could. She went and joined the rest of the Idols who were hanging out at a table near the far side of the room. They were laughing and reminiscing about their time on Idol and the tour. She had missed them a lot since the tour and often felt really lonely without them. She made her way towards the table and took a seat next to Didi and Big Mike.
They sat together, drinking, and talking for several hours, until it got to be late. Big Mike had to head home to see his family who had flown into LA to visit while he worked on his album, Casey was heading back to Nashville the next day to open up for Keith Urban, Aaron had to make it back for the rest of Homecoming week at his high school, and the rest of them needed to get some sleep before heading back to their respective hometowns the following day. Crystal hugged each of them goodbye and told them she’d visit them when she started her own tour at the beginning of the year.
Looking around the room she noticed Lee, leaning against the wall talking animatedly about something or other. She watched him as he got excited and rocked back and forth on his Chucks. She loved seeing him like this. She imagined him talking about the tour and how he was really excited about meeting the fans, doing his own set, and proving to people he was a real musician. She sat that way for several minutes watching him, a smile placed across her lips. From her purse, her cell phone buzzed. She took it out and glanced at it.
Bored yet? I should be done in a few minutes…I need to talk to you…so don’t go anywhere-Lee
She smiled as nodded towards him, texting back.
God, you’re taking forever…I would think it’s your party or something…haha.
She watched him as he laughed lightly at her text and went back to talking to his manager and several other suits. Finally they stopped talking and he made his way over to her. His smile made the butterflies in her stomach multiple by 3000.
“Finally…” He replied in a tired breath as he took her hand and led her out of the room. “I think it’s time…” He replied his lips tight as he pulled her towards a secluded room near the far end of the building.
She followed him without question as he pulled her into a secluded room and closed the door behind him. He flipped on the lights and made his way over to a couch in the center of the room. She watched him, not sure what this all about. He motioned for her to come take a seat next to him on the couch. She did as was asked and took a seat on the couch next to him.
“So…” She said casually, wondering what was up.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I need to talk to you about something…” He said with hesitation.
She laughed nervously, “So spit it out Lee…when has it ever been weird for us to talk?” She questioned him, punching him in the shoulder lightly.
He faked a laugh and turned towards her, taking her hands into his, “Well this isn’t the sort of talk we’ve ever had before…” He said with a shrug, his blue eyes finding hers.
She moved nervously away from him, this was getting awkward. Biting her lip she replied quietly, “Ok…”
Suddenly his lips crashed against hers, one hand finding her dreads, and the other cupping her face. At first it was weird, but she went along with it, kissing him back as well. It felt natural and wonderful, but different in so many ways. They were best friends, not lovers and she wasn’t too sure where this would bring them now. Her thoughts drifted back to Big Tony, they had been talking a lot lately, and it looked like they might be getting back together. It hurt her heart when she pushed Lee away and jumped away from him, moving towards the door.
She saw the hurt in his eyes from across the room as he searched for the words, “Wait…” Was all that came out, jumbled, and half lost in hurt.
She shook her head, “I just can’t do this…” Was all she said simply.
His voice turned confused as he tried to understand, “Didn’t you just feel something when I kissed you? It changed everything for me…I’ve loved you since the beginning and it’s not just a friendly kind of love. I love you Crystal…”
She struggled with words, trying to come up with something that made sense to him, “Lee you’re my brother…we’re friends and nothing else. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel any differently.”
He moved towards her, grabbing for the door so she couldn’t get away, “Wow…I guess I really got the signals mixed up then? You call me all the time, we flirt, we sleep in the same bed together…we have so much chemistry…I guess that’s what you do with your brother, right?” He was getting angry and defensive now; she could tell he was really hurt.
Tears began to fall from her face, she had never seen him like this before, “I think I should go…” She replied quietly, as she reached for the door.
He drew in a large breath as he let the door open for her, it all sunk in then; he knew it was all over between them now. Whatever they had, it was all over now, “Goodbye Crystal…” He said simply as he watched her walk out that door and out of his life forever.
I could make you happy make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
Tears fell from her eyes as she thought back to everything that went down between the 2 of them. The way her heart hurt and the way that her body longed for his touch, made her mad as she took an angry swig from her beer. She had never felt this way in her life and it was making her sick to her stomach. She strummed on her guitar without promise as she looked at the clock across the room. All of the sudden it hit her. She loved him. Not the type of brother-sister love or the friends type love, but actually romantic, can’t live without one another love. Her breath caught in her throat at the realization, why had it taken her so long to realize this? Without thinking, she grabbed her phone and dialed his number.
It rang 3 times before he picked up, sounding groggy, “What’s wrong?” He questioned right away, no hi’s or small talk. She should have expected it; they haven’t talked for a month.
She took a breath and let it all out, “Where are you? I need to see you like…yesterday…” She paused, waiting for a response.
She could hear question in his voice as he responded, “I’m in Chicago…I had a few days off and came to visit my family. What’s going on Crystal? You sound weird…”
“We need to talk…I’m coming to Chicago. Will you come pick me up from the airport? I’ll text you my flight number and time and all that….” She explained as she moved towards her laptop, looking up flights from LA to Chicago as fast at she could.
“Sure.” Was all he said as she closed the phone and bought the next ticket to LA.
The next few hours were all a blur to her. She packed a bag in record speed, threw it in the back of her car, and sped down to LAX as fast as she could. Her flight was in exactly an hour and a half. She would be in Chicago before 7AM. She texted Lee her flight information and he texted back telling her he’d be there and to fly safe. She boarded the flight and tried to sleep through the 2 and half hour plan ride, but she couldn’t. The butterflies in her stomach kept getting bigger and bigger as the plane came closer to Chicago. Finally a little after 7AM, her plane landed and she was in Chicago. Grabbing her bag, she made her way off the airplane and towards the terminal.
She looked around for him, hoping he was already waiting for her at the terminal. She had to tell him and soon, before she chickened out and headed straight back to LA. Her eyes glanced nervously around before spotting him, leaning against the wall. He looked tired and uneasy, wearing a black hoodie, jeans, and his normal Chucks. She ran towards him, tears springing to her eyes already.
She threw her arms around him as she tried to explain, “I’m so sorry…I was scared…I haven’t slept…I need to talk to you…I think I love you…” Was all that came out, all jumbled and garbled, not the way she had it planned.
He laughed lightly at her and he hugged her, “Hi to you too…” He rubbed her back as he went on, “So you think you love me?” He questioned with his crooked half smile.
“I know I love you…” She replied looking him straight in the eye. “Always have and always will…it just took me a long time to realize it…”
Before she could say another word, his mouth was on hers, and this time she didn’t push him away. They stood in the middle of O’Hare airport and kissed, fireworks exploding, music playing, everything you would expect in a kiss of that magnitude.
“So what do you want to do now?” He questioned as he took her bag in one hand and her hand in another.
She eyed him with a laugh, “All I want to do right now is get to bed…”
He eyed her back mysteriously, “You bad girl you…” He replied with laugh.
She punched him in the chest, “Not in that way…” She replied her eyes big. “Ok maybe in that way…