Tryin to be perfect, tryin not let you down, yeah...
"Night." She says to him before she leans in and kisses him quickly on the lips.
"Night." He says back automatically after she lays back in bed and pulls the covers over her body.
This is the most they have talked in the last week and it's not like they haven't seen each other. They live together so they're together for a majority of their day. They're together in the morning when they're both in the bathroom getting ready for work and at night when they eat dinner together and watch TV until they get tired enough to go to sleep. They're in bed together for eight hours and the most they say to each other is goodnight.
She falls asleep quickly, her breath steadies, and her body is peaceful. He looks over at her and wonders what happened to them. They were so in love and now they barely say two words to each other. He sighs deeply and thinks back to the night they met. He was at some awful party that one of his friends was throwing where he knew nobody. Everyone was drunk and stupid and he was just about to leave when she ran into him. Her drink spilled all over his shirt and she screamed some profanities and then threw her hands over her mouth. He gave her a smile and a laugh and leaned down to pick up her red plastic glass. She was beautiful he remembers, wearing a simple black shirt and tight dark jeans. Her hair fell loosely over her shoulders and she wore just the perfect amount of makeup to accentuate her beauty. Her smile was electrifying and she made him nervous just by standing next to him. They struck up a conversation on how lame the party was and how they seemed like they were the only two not drunk. The rest is history, almost four years later and here they are barely speaking.
Things were good for them in the beginning, they were inseparable, and within three months they had already moved in together. Everyone was expecting them to be engaged before the year was up, but they both agreed they were too young and had made no plans of marrying anytime soon. They could finish each others sentences and knew exactly what the other was thinking. It was so easy for them. They could spend a Friday night at home playing board games and as perfectly content as going out to a trendy bar in downtown Chicago. Everyone envied their relationship and their friends wondered how they did it.
Everything was perfect until the last few months. It started out slowly, her going out with friends more often then she did before and him hanging out more at home than at their apartment. They still came home to each other every night and their chemistry still remained. Then things began to change. She'd go visit her parents for long weekends and he wouldn't call or text. He'd spend nights at the studio and come home to her fast asleep. The constant calls they used to make to each other slowly subsided and the cute random texts went along with them. When they were together it seemed like work. He would make her her favorite meal just to put a smile on her face and she wouldn't even say or word. She'd watch sports with him on a Sunday afternoon instead of going out shopping with the girls and it wouldn't even phase him. Things got so bad that it felt like they were roommates and not in a serious relationship.
He decided that night watching her sleep that something had to be done. It felt like they were both trying to hold together their relationship because it felt like they had to. They were so safe together and they weren't sure if they could be alone. He falls into a sad slumber and wishes things were different between them.
It takes a week for him to get up the courage to talk to her about what's been going on. She's never home and when she is she's in a bad mood. He tries to make her smile by singing her silly songs and showing her old pictures of when they first started dating, but nothing seemed to work. It all comes to a head when they're at a friend's wedding. They've been asked about a dozen times when they're getting married and both of them smile politely and say not yet. They're usually tearing it up on the dance floor with the rest of their friends at weddings, but both of them are sitting together at the table and staring out at the dance floor. When one of their favorite songs comes on, neither of them even try to get the other to get out on the dance floor. He's finally had enough as he gets up from the table and walks towards the exit. She follows after him just out of habit. He loosens his tie and leans up against a tree and gets out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
"You know I hate when you smoke." She calls out to him as she rubs her arms gently, it's gotten cold since the sun went down.
He rolls his eyes and lights it anyways, taking a few long drags before he finally speaks. "Like you even care anymore."
"What's going on?" She questions him softly as she moves to stand next to him.
He can tell she's freezing and he would normally give her his jacket, but that's the last thing on his mind right now. "You know what's wrong. It feels like I'm the only one trying in this relationship."
She takes a deep breath and looks him in the eyes. "I know I haven't been around lately, but work has been crazy as hell and I'm tired..."
He shakes his head in frustration, letting the ashes from his cigarette hit the ground next to his feet. "Stop making excuses for this. I feels like I love you a whole lot more than you love me."
Tears are starting to well in her eyes. "You know I love you Lee. More than anything..."
"But what if that's not enough? Things have changed between us. It's not easy like it was before. It feels like I have to work 24/7 to make this work and I don't think I can do it anymore."
"We can make this work. I'll try more and we can be like we were before." She breaks into tears and pushes them back angrily. "We have to make this work."
"We don't have to do anything." His voice is strong and hurt. It takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets the smoke billow from his mouth slowly. "I don't think this can be fixed."
"I know it can. We love each other, that's enough to make something work." She says shakily as she moves towards him and brushes her hands over his chest.
He drops his cigarette to the ground and snubs it out with his shoe, looking down at her. "I want to make it work as much as you do, but I know it's not going to. We're just holding onto memories and the way we used to be."
She puts her arms around him and lets her face fall into his chest. "I don't want to lose us..." She sobs into his chest, her hands pulling at his shirt.
"I don't either...this is why this is so hard." He brushes his hands over her hair lightly and takes in a deep breath. "But we can't keep holding onto something that's just not there anymore."
"I'm afraid to be alone...it's been so long...." She says softly.
"I know, but you can do it. You can focus on your career and get that dog you've been talking about. You can move to New York like you've wanted to forever. You can do whatever you want to and don't have to worry about me."
"And you can move to LA and do you music and stop putting it off. You're great Lee, really. People deserve to hear your music."
"Lets promise each other we'll do what we've wanted to do with our lives for the last few years...."
She nods softly. "I promise."
"Me too." He says as he pulls her into a tight hug and smiles down at her.
The drive back to their apartment is silent. When he pulls into the parking spot near their building she gets out slowly and takes a deep breath, looking up at the place they've shared for the last 3 years.
"I'm going to miss it here. We had so many good times here." She sighs, pushing back the tears that are starting to form in her eyes again. "I think I'm going to stay with my parents until I figure out where to go from here."
He nods as they walk into their apartment and she goes about collecting the necessary items she needs to get through a few days at her parents house. "Call me when you get there." He calls to her as she enters the living room with a bag in her hand.
"I will." She moves to kiss him on the cheek before turning and leaving their apartment.
A week later her stuff is all in boxes scattered around the living room and she's ready to leave her life with Lee behind. He helps her load the boxes into her car and he can feel his heart breaking a little as he closes the trunk after the last box is put in. She looks as beautiful as the day he met her in her sweats and messy hair. He will always love her he decides as she stands there nervously wondering what to do next.
"Good luck." She finally says as she steps towards him and pulls him into a hug. "These were the best almost 4 years of my life..." She whispers into his ear.
"Good luck to you too..." He says as tears start to form in his eyes. "I'm glad I got to spend them with you." He kisses her one last time on the lips before she moves towards the driver's side of the car.
He watches as she backs out of the parking spot and moves towards the street. He stands there until she's out of view and for a few minutes after. He knows it had to end, but it hurt so damn bad.
She calls a few months later and they have a 2 hour conversation. She's moved to New York City and is working for a large publishing company. She recently adopted a dog from a shelter and is in love with the city. She blabs on and on about how she finds something new about the city on a daily basis. He smiles at the thought of her happy in New York. She asks about him and he tells her that he's working on some new music and has recently decided to give American Idol a chance. He can tell she's excited for him and says she can't wait to see him on TV every week.
"Hey Lee..." She says on the other end of the line about two hours into their conversation.
"Yeah..."
"Thanks for having the courage to tell the truth."
He nods with a slight smile. "It had to be done as much as it sucked, we both knew it had to end."
"I'll talk to you soon."
"You too."
"Night." He says back automatically after she lays back in bed and pulls the covers over her body.
This is the most they have talked in the last week and it's not like they haven't seen each other. They live together so they're together for a majority of their day. They're together in the morning when they're both in the bathroom getting ready for work and at night when they eat dinner together and watch TV until they get tired enough to go to sleep. They're in bed together for eight hours and the most they say to each other is goodnight.
She falls asleep quickly, her breath steadies, and her body is peaceful. He looks over at her and wonders what happened to them. They were so in love and now they barely say two words to each other. He sighs deeply and thinks back to the night they met. He was at some awful party that one of his friends was throwing where he knew nobody. Everyone was drunk and stupid and he was just about to leave when she ran into him. Her drink spilled all over his shirt and she screamed some profanities and then threw her hands over her mouth. He gave her a smile and a laugh and leaned down to pick up her red plastic glass. She was beautiful he remembers, wearing a simple black shirt and tight dark jeans. Her hair fell loosely over her shoulders and she wore just the perfect amount of makeup to accentuate her beauty. Her smile was electrifying and she made him nervous just by standing next to him. They struck up a conversation on how lame the party was and how they seemed like they were the only two not drunk. The rest is history, almost four years later and here they are barely speaking.
Things were good for them in the beginning, they were inseparable, and within three months they had already moved in together. Everyone was expecting them to be engaged before the year was up, but they both agreed they were too young and had made no plans of marrying anytime soon. They could finish each others sentences and knew exactly what the other was thinking. It was so easy for them. They could spend a Friday night at home playing board games and as perfectly content as going out to a trendy bar in downtown Chicago. Everyone envied their relationship and their friends wondered how they did it.
Everything was perfect until the last few months. It started out slowly, her going out with friends more often then she did before and him hanging out more at home than at their apartment. They still came home to each other every night and their chemistry still remained. Then things began to change. She'd go visit her parents for long weekends and he wouldn't call or text. He'd spend nights at the studio and come home to her fast asleep. The constant calls they used to make to each other slowly subsided and the cute random texts went along with them. When they were together it seemed like work. He would make her her favorite meal just to put a smile on her face and she wouldn't even say or word. She'd watch sports with him on a Sunday afternoon instead of going out shopping with the girls and it wouldn't even phase him. Things got so bad that it felt like they were roommates and not in a serious relationship.
He decided that night watching her sleep that something had to be done. It felt like they were both trying to hold together their relationship because it felt like they had to. They were so safe together and they weren't sure if they could be alone. He falls into a sad slumber and wishes things were different between them.
It takes a week for him to get up the courage to talk to her about what's been going on. She's never home and when she is she's in a bad mood. He tries to make her smile by singing her silly songs and showing her old pictures of when they first started dating, but nothing seemed to work. It all comes to a head when they're at a friend's wedding. They've been asked about a dozen times when they're getting married and both of them smile politely and say not yet. They're usually tearing it up on the dance floor with the rest of their friends at weddings, but both of them are sitting together at the table and staring out at the dance floor. When one of their favorite songs comes on, neither of them even try to get the other to get out on the dance floor. He's finally had enough as he gets up from the table and walks towards the exit. She follows after him just out of habit. He loosens his tie and leans up against a tree and gets out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
"You know I hate when you smoke." She calls out to him as she rubs her arms gently, it's gotten cold since the sun went down.
He rolls his eyes and lights it anyways, taking a few long drags before he finally speaks. "Like you even care anymore."
"What's going on?" She questions him softly as she moves to stand next to him.
He can tell she's freezing and he would normally give her his jacket, but that's the last thing on his mind right now. "You know what's wrong. It feels like I'm the only one trying in this relationship."
She takes a deep breath and looks him in the eyes. "I know I haven't been around lately, but work has been crazy as hell and I'm tired..."
He shakes his head in frustration, letting the ashes from his cigarette hit the ground next to his feet. "Stop making excuses for this. I feels like I love you a whole lot more than you love me."
Tears are starting to well in her eyes. "You know I love you Lee. More than anything..."
"But what if that's not enough? Things have changed between us. It's not easy like it was before. It feels like I have to work 24/7 to make this work and I don't think I can do it anymore."
"We can make this work. I'll try more and we can be like we were before." She breaks into tears and pushes them back angrily. "We have to make this work."
"We don't have to do anything." His voice is strong and hurt. It takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets the smoke billow from his mouth slowly. "I don't think this can be fixed."
"I know it can. We love each other, that's enough to make something work." She says shakily as she moves towards him and brushes her hands over his chest.
He drops his cigarette to the ground and snubs it out with his shoe, looking down at her. "I want to make it work as much as you do, but I know it's not going to. We're just holding onto memories and the way we used to be."
She puts her arms around him and lets her face fall into his chest. "I don't want to lose us..." She sobs into his chest, her hands pulling at his shirt.
"I don't either...this is why this is so hard." He brushes his hands over her hair lightly and takes in a deep breath. "But we can't keep holding onto something that's just not there anymore."
"I'm afraid to be alone...it's been so long...." She says softly.
"I know, but you can do it. You can focus on your career and get that dog you've been talking about. You can move to New York like you've wanted to forever. You can do whatever you want to and don't have to worry about me."
"And you can move to LA and do you music and stop putting it off. You're great Lee, really. People deserve to hear your music."
"Lets promise each other we'll do what we've wanted to do with our lives for the last few years...."
She nods softly. "I promise."
"Me too." He says as he pulls her into a tight hug and smiles down at her.
The drive back to their apartment is silent. When he pulls into the parking spot near their building she gets out slowly and takes a deep breath, looking up at the place they've shared for the last 3 years.
"I'm going to miss it here. We had so many good times here." She sighs, pushing back the tears that are starting to form in her eyes again. "I think I'm going to stay with my parents until I figure out where to go from here."
He nods as they walk into their apartment and she goes about collecting the necessary items she needs to get through a few days at her parents house. "Call me when you get there." He calls to her as she enters the living room with a bag in her hand.
"I will." She moves to kiss him on the cheek before turning and leaving their apartment.
A week later her stuff is all in boxes scattered around the living room and she's ready to leave her life with Lee behind. He helps her load the boxes into her car and he can feel his heart breaking a little as he closes the trunk after the last box is put in. She looks as beautiful as the day he met her in her sweats and messy hair. He will always love her he decides as she stands there nervously wondering what to do next.
"Good luck." She finally says as she steps towards him and pulls him into a hug. "These were the best almost 4 years of my life..." She whispers into his ear.
"Good luck to you too..." He says as tears start to form in his eyes. "I'm glad I got to spend them with you." He kisses her one last time on the lips before she moves towards the driver's side of the car.
He watches as she backs out of the parking spot and moves towards the street. He stands there until she's out of view and for a few minutes after. He knows it had to end, but it hurt so damn bad.
She calls a few months later and they have a 2 hour conversation. She's moved to New York City and is working for a large publishing company. She recently adopted a dog from a shelter and is in love with the city. She blabs on and on about how she finds something new about the city on a daily basis. He smiles at the thought of her happy in New York. She asks about him and he tells her that he's working on some new music and has recently decided to give American Idol a chance. He can tell she's excited for him and says she can't wait to see him on TV every week.
"Hey Lee..." She says on the other end of the line about two hours into their conversation.
"Yeah..."
"Thanks for having the courage to tell the truth."
He nods with a slight smile. "It had to be done as much as it sucked, we both knew it had to end."
"I'll talk to you soon."
"You too."