(no subject)
i have such a low self esteem lately.
i haven't actually eaten in three days.
i can't make myself ingest food, because it doesn't make me feel better.
it just makes me nauseous.
it's not about the calories, and it's not about me being creepy about my food.
i just don't like it anymore.
i hate going out of the house because i feel like everyone's watching me.
judging.
i know it's paranoia. i'm sure that comes with the territory of not eating and not sleeping very much.
my mom is making me go to curves with her tomorrow later today.
i don't want to.
i don't want other women watching me. i don't.
the thought of it makes me anxious and jittery.
i just want to cry.