Music
We're going to guitar center.
My hands are lotiony and sweaty...they aren't good for playing bass.
I need to wash my hands and give them a good dry.
I've had a hand massage today (2 brilliant ones actually).
So I'm ready to get back in touch with playing for a couple of minutes, and pick up some bass strings.
Maria asked me what song it was I liked from VHS or Beta.
I said that it wasn't the one that was playing...so she clicked on solid gold...
That was it.
She nailed it.
The song starting with waves sound one thing stuck into my being.
I almost muttered something outloud...but I kept it in. Because it's foreign in rough territory.
I will keep the sensation inside of me because that might be where it belongs.
But it's been in there for months...months before today...months before her.
But now, in this moment with everything, It's got backing, motiv and reason.
Before it was fantasy...songs like this inspiring and creating an emotion that I was...
She wrenches my guts as she always has and always will.
It's not sexual it's passed that.
It doesn't feel the same as attraction has felt in the past.
I was able to identify that I would be only sexually attracted to people in the past.
And it was easy.
Why can't....AH wrench wrench wrench wrench.
If we do...I'm gonna be fucked up in the future.
It's gonna suck ass...big fat...spotty...veiny...hairy...ass
:(
Right well, I'll pull a musical/artistic hurrican Katrina on myself and wash away sorrow.
Or drown.
I wrote earlier about my hairiness....it got fucked up...so all that's left is.
I'm hairy and can't really do anything to stop it.
She said I needed to get a pet and I thought of the summer...and thought of other things I need this summer.
Where'd my balls run off to...
Maybe the doctor replaced my nuts with grapes when I was a baby and that's why I care/love/emote too much.
Aaaaaaaaah.
My hands are lotiony and sweaty...they aren't good for playing bass.
I need to wash my hands and give them a good dry.
I've had a hand massage today (2 brilliant ones actually).
So I'm ready to get back in touch with playing for a couple of minutes, and pick up some bass strings.
Maria asked me what song it was I liked from VHS or Beta.
I said that it wasn't the one that was playing...so she clicked on solid gold...
That was it.
She nailed it.
The song starting with waves sound one thing stuck into my being.
I almost muttered something outloud...but I kept it in. Because it's foreign in rough territory.
I will keep the sensation inside of me because that might be where it belongs.
But it's been in there for months...months before today...months before her.
But now, in this moment with everything, It's got backing, motiv and reason.
Before it was fantasy...songs like this inspiring and creating an emotion that I was...
She wrenches my guts as she always has and always will.
It's not sexual it's passed that.
It doesn't feel the same as attraction has felt in the past.
I was able to identify that I would be only sexually attracted to people in the past.
And it was easy.
Why can't....AH wrench wrench wrench wrench.
If we do...I'm gonna be fucked up in the future.
It's gonna suck ass...big fat...spotty...veiny...hairy...ass
:(
Right well, I'll pull a musical/artistic hurrican Katrina on myself and wash away sorrow.
Or drown.
I wrote earlier about my hairiness....it got fucked up...so all that's left is.
I'm hairy and can't really do anything to stop it.
She said I needed to get a pet and I thought of the summer...and thought of other things I need this summer.
Where'd my balls run off to...
Maybe the doctor replaced my nuts with grapes when I was a baby and that's why I care/love/emote too much.
Aaaaaaaaah.