juuuuust an update.
I’ve been feeling better, finally, but once again I really haven’t had much down time lately. You would think my schedule wouldn’t be so hectic, but more of ten than not I’m wondering where all of my time goes. It really does feel like I’m never home, but that’s probably because I got from working to sleeping, or sleeping to going out ((on my days off)). In any case, I haven’t been “sick” anymore, so to speak. I still wake up wheezy, and I am still wheezy whenever I lay down to go to sleep, but during the day I’m usually up to par for the most part. I guess that’s all I can really ask for. I realized the other day that I sleep a ridiculous amount of time. Pretty much if I’m working that night, I sleep ALL day. And by all day, I literally mean it, 13+ hours normally. For some reason my job just tires me out completely, and I don’t really feel like going out or anything anyway. It’s alright though. I guess I’m still not used to balancing my time, but that will come in time. It’s probably going to take a while until I’m used to everything.
Anyway, work has been pretty good. A little hectic every so often but, that’s to be expected. I need more upper body strength before I can really accomplish everything I need to, though. Lifting some of the things just gets to me when they are in large quantities and weight enough for that reason. Oh well. Haha. I am also terrified of heights still, luckily I haven’t had to go all the way up into overstock for anything because I’m pretty sure in some sections of the store I’d have a heart attack, for sure. I still really like the people I work with, and they make it a pretty nice place to work for a change. Annnnd… working third shift isn’t SO horrible. It definitely has its perks, the big one being-- you avoid most of the time craziness and there isn’t really any “down time”, it’s fairly fast paced.
Okay… enough about work, I deal with that enough ^_^
I talked to Gary the other night and I think it put me at ease, for the most part. I still don’t care to put everything in the open, because stupid people decide they need to know about my life, still, but things are still pretty hectic, and I can only hope they continue to get better. I know they will but I also know it’s going to take a long, long time. I really miss him though. It’s pretty bad when I still think of him right as I’m going to sleep, and right as I’m waking up, too. That must mean something, right? I don’t normally get as attached as I am to him, and sometimes I can’t even explain why. I like that. I know things have been complicated but the things that have been dealt in the path are things some people never, ever have to deal with. And yeah, I know, a lot of people think it’s insane and they don’t understand, and to be honest I don’t either. I can honestly say from the beginning mostly everything involving him has never made any sense. And things sure as hell haven’t been easy, perfect, crazy happy all the time, or even right, but somehow in the end he still seems worth it. Especially as a friend. So I’m trying really hard to just hang in there even though it’s not easy, and try my best to be positive and not let this get to me too much. For a while there I was so incredibly hurt and angry… very…. VERY angry, but it’s not like that anymore. But, as I said, things aren’t “good” either, they are just getting better, finally. Which is something I can finally smile about. He really means a lot to me, and just being able to talk to him again is good enough. I’m not sure where things are, or what will happen, but it doesn’t matter, if I’ve learned anything from things and the way they happen with G, then I just need to not have my hopes up and just understand that no matter what, he is my friend, and if that’s all it’s going to be it will always, always, always mean the most to me. Because it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, or what happens, I will always know just how special he is to me, and that’s what counts in the end.
Oh a not-so-serious-note.
Saturday night Steph, Tom, Douglas and I went and played pool. Normally I really suck but you know, I havent bragging rights now because Douglas and I completely killed Steph and Tom, even though they are masters of cheating. Especially Steph. Oh it was certainly amusing, oh my goodness, was it ever. I had a good time. Anyway, then we hung out at Tom’s apartment and had some pizza, watched the end of a movie, and then the beginning of it. ((Don’t ask)). Then Douglas and I left, ended up in Harborcreek and were going to take my dad some coffee but he didn’t answer, ended up passing him as he was leaving sheetz… where he was buying coffee haha. It was a good time. Then we drove out into Mckean and Fairview, just barely having any gas and somehow made it to a creepy/shady truck stop. I had to pee and it was scary as ever, the bathroom was 1. Freezing cold 2. Nasty remarks written everywhere 3. No locks on the door 4. No sinks what-so-ever. Oh and two women came out of the only working bathroom, together, and well maybe you’d have to hear what they were talking about but it was fucking creepy. Never again. No way. Tonight I will most likely hang out with Douglas because we might go see Lindsey in Edinboro, depending on when her sorority stuff ends. Either that or we will be seeing her on Saturday, or who knows, maybe both?! Anyway, I miss her so I’m definitely looking forward to it. Oh yes, and Traceyyyyyyyy will be here in just over a week. And that is CERTAINLY EXCITING! ^_^ Kelly will be in town, as well, and I’m happy about that. I really hope the four of us ((Cody, Kelly, Douglas and myself)) resolves all of the tension and what not. It’d be cool to have my best friend back, well, back to normal anyway. There’s just a loooooot of crappppy stuff in the way as of right now. It’s been better. Oh yes, And Chris will be in town from Boston!! So it’s going to be a good time. However, it might be difficult seeing as work will be nutso since it’s obviously a very busy week for any store with Friday being black Friday.
Okay, time to go eat whatever my dad just made and then shower, then sleep. Later <3
Anyway, work has been pretty good. A little hectic every so often but, that’s to be expected. I need more upper body strength before I can really accomplish everything I need to, though. Lifting some of the things just gets to me when they are in large quantities and weight enough for that reason. Oh well. Haha. I am also terrified of heights still, luckily I haven’t had to go all the way up into overstock for anything because I’m pretty sure in some sections of the store I’d have a heart attack, for sure. I still really like the people I work with, and they make it a pretty nice place to work for a change. Annnnd… working third shift isn’t SO horrible. It definitely has its perks, the big one being-- you avoid most of the time craziness and there isn’t really any “down time”, it’s fairly fast paced.
Okay… enough about work, I deal with that enough ^_^
I talked to Gary the other night and I think it put me at ease, for the most part. I still don’t care to put everything in the open, because stupid people decide they need to know about my life, still, but things are still pretty hectic, and I can only hope they continue to get better. I know they will but I also know it’s going to take a long, long time. I really miss him though. It’s pretty bad when I still think of him right as I’m going to sleep, and right as I’m waking up, too. That must mean something, right? I don’t normally get as attached as I am to him, and sometimes I can’t even explain why. I like that. I know things have been complicated but the things that have been dealt in the path are things some people never, ever have to deal with. And yeah, I know, a lot of people think it’s insane and they don’t understand, and to be honest I don’t either. I can honestly say from the beginning mostly everything involving him has never made any sense. And things sure as hell haven’t been easy, perfect, crazy happy all the time, or even right, but somehow in the end he still seems worth it. Especially as a friend. So I’m trying really hard to just hang in there even though it’s not easy, and try my best to be positive and not let this get to me too much. For a while there I was so incredibly hurt and angry… very…. VERY angry, but it’s not like that anymore. But, as I said, things aren’t “good” either, they are just getting better, finally. Which is something I can finally smile about. He really means a lot to me, and just being able to talk to him again is good enough. I’m not sure where things are, or what will happen, but it doesn’t matter, if I’ve learned anything from things and the way they happen with G, then I just need to not have my hopes up and just understand that no matter what, he is my friend, and if that’s all it’s going to be it will always, always, always mean the most to me. Because it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, or what happens, I will always know just how special he is to me, and that’s what counts in the end.
Oh a not-so-serious-note.
Saturday night Steph, Tom, Douglas and I went and played pool. Normally I really suck but you know, I havent bragging rights now because Douglas and I completely killed Steph and Tom, even though they are masters of cheating. Especially Steph. Oh it was certainly amusing, oh my goodness, was it ever. I had a good time. Anyway, then we hung out at Tom’s apartment and had some pizza, watched the end of a movie, and then the beginning of it. ((Don’t ask)). Then Douglas and I left, ended up in Harborcreek and were going to take my dad some coffee but he didn’t answer, ended up passing him as he was leaving sheetz… where he was buying coffee haha. It was a good time. Then we drove out into Mckean and Fairview, just barely having any gas and somehow made it to a creepy/shady truck stop. I had to pee and it was scary as ever, the bathroom was 1. Freezing cold 2. Nasty remarks written everywhere 3. No locks on the door 4. No sinks what-so-ever. Oh and two women came out of the only working bathroom, together, and well maybe you’d have to hear what they were talking about but it was fucking creepy. Never again. No way. Tonight I will most likely hang out with Douglas because we might go see Lindsey in Edinboro, depending on when her sorority stuff ends. Either that or we will be seeing her on Saturday, or who knows, maybe both?! Anyway, I miss her so I’m definitely looking forward to it. Oh yes, and Traceyyyyyyyy will be here in just over a week. And that is CERTAINLY EXCITING! ^_^ Kelly will be in town, as well, and I’m happy about that. I really hope the four of us ((Cody, Kelly, Douglas and myself)) resolves all of the tension and what not. It’d be cool to have my best friend back, well, back to normal anyway. There’s just a loooooot of crappppy stuff in the way as of right now. It’s been better. Oh yes, And Chris will be in town from Boston!! So it’s going to be a good time. However, it might be difficult seeing as work will be nutso since it’s obviously a very busy week for any store with Friday being black Friday.
Okay, time to go eat whatever my dad just made and then shower, then sleep. Later <3