thoughts yet again...
So i havent updated in awhile so i thought today would be a great time to start. So any frequent readers that are out there, im still with chris and weve been together for about a year and a half and honestly i couldnt be any happier. Right now we are going through a huge roughspot but i know in the end we will come out hand in hand. Like ive said in my previous posts chris is like one of the SWEETEST guys in the world, its just sometimes i feel as though im messing up and that i need to fix it and i know that i get frustrating at times and people probablly wanna shut me up, but for some reason i feel like really low, and i know its got nothing to do with chris... for once its me. I really am the problem, so with that being said i just dont know what to do? I just feel as though i need to fix the stuff that has happened and make it all better in a sense? its just hard... and i meant ever word that i said when i say that chris means the world to me cause he really does. And i always have in my mind the things that he does that are just downright amazing, like the other night, we went out to dinner for my birthday (which was amazing) and we had to stand outside for awhile, and he held me. He held me and it was amazing, i felt like i was just gonna melt right there in his arms... I think I just want that type of thing to happen more often, cause that was an amazing night <3 but all good things must come to an end. Today i found out some of his feelings towards me and i just kinda was left feeing complacent, with like nowhere to go? There was absolutely no one that i could talk to about it, and honestly im a dumbass for losing all of my friends. I mean i know if lucy was here so much would be different i wouldnt always hang out with chris (which he would love) and i think it would just help things out so much. And lately ive been down cause sue moved away, and its not so much that she moved to like a foreign country or anything, but she moved to va beach, and i never go there, so i havent been able to see her in forever and i miss her soo much.Even though we didnt always hang out much its the thought that she just isnt gonna be right around the corner that gets me. it just feels like everything is crashing down at one time and im left with nothing, and thats not to make anyone believe that me and chris being in a rough spot is soley his fault. Cause on the contray of what others may think its as much my fault as it is his. And relationships are not always gonna be amazing or what not, they are not always gonna be perfect you gotta have the good with the bad and i guess now is the time that we go through the bad to get to the good stuff :? hopefully so, thanks for the time
Carrie
Carrie