(no subject)
summer oh six has definitely been amazing. i felt like having plain vanilla ice cream last night and my mom took me to kroger to go get some. totally her idea. i was gonna be fine without having it. but she insisted. and on the way there we rolled down the windows. and let the hot summer night air fill our lungs. there was no music. because there didnt need to be. and she said "this is what summer is all about". and it just hit me. that IS what summer is all about. doing random things, with people you love. and making memories that you hope to remember to tell your children when you get older, but knowing that if you forget them its still ok because you still experienced them. and that in itself is enough. i had my senior pictures on wednesday. and when i was driving home i had this huge "im a senior omg" feeling. and it felt good. sometimes i get scared when i think about it all. but this time it was pure happiness. i feel like a senior. i feel for once that im right where i need to be. im not too old for my age and wishing i was in college, but im not too young and immature to not appreciate things. and i dont really know how else to describe it. i was telling liz tonight how so many times when im trying to fall asleep i think about something. deeply. and i think "wow..this could be an amazing lj update"..then when i wake up...the words dont seem as beautiful anymore. i wish they did, but i guess thats just how it goes. i hope that little kids look up to me in admiration like i looked up to teenagers when i was younger. not in a stuck-up way, but i guess its just nice to know that someone is watching what you do and hoping that when they get that old they are somewhat like that too. my brother just had his 20th birthday. as i watched him open presents i realized how much older he looks. and its just crazy i guess. time flies by. im so happy for him though. he is following a career that he loves. and he's happy. i admire him so much. i hope im like him when im 20. boys boys boys. i feel like this summer is the summer of boys. again, i dont mean that in a slutty way lol. it just is. and i have realized how much i hate my indecisivness. im not even gonna try to spell that word. but basically..i cant make decisions. and that leads to leading guys on. which leads to sticky situations. which in the end is not cool. and i dont mean to do it. i just can never make up my mind until it is too late. but ill leave this to my swing talk with liz. because i dont want to bore everyone with the details. thats another thing. i love swinging. something about pumping your legs and floating up to the sky, just cant be beat. ok. ill leave yall with some pictures. a million points if you read that all. seriously :)
