(no subject)

Oct 20, 2005 19:29

i love him.
i always have. but now he knows. so now it's more real somehow.
and he loves me.
so isn't this supposed to be some kind of plateau? isn't accepting that you love the person and then telling them the hard part? shouldn't i be able to just sit back and enjoy the ride now?
oh no, not me.
i have to freak out.
i have to try to scare him away because i'm terrified myself.
i have to push.
i have to run. run to the one person that could ruin this. well, the one person besides me.
why do i do this? why do i want to make myself miserable?
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