almost over
Picture this scene right here... two kids amazing.. smart.. loud and huge smiling faces... imagine a mom laying on the couch and waking up after four hours of doing nothing.. her kids doing whatever at their grandmothers house..imagine listening to the stories of how they have been up for hours waiting for their mom to get home at night or the 200 dollars missing from the 13 year olds birthday money... imagine being able to do nothing.. i hate this...
C.J wont leave me alone again..he is always in my head.. that stupid voice always in my head..in my dreams.. sometimes i wish i could just disapear... i want to scream ... but the thoughts stay in my head and i'll leave it for some other conversation time with myself... i hate that people think i have it all together.. i hate that sometimes even i think i have it all together...oh well i learn.. i just dont want to be here right now.. i wish i could go to laineys or daniels..anywhere..gone
lighter less dramatic note.. i got my hair highlighted i like it alot actually! i also got to help my aunt clean up her shop. it was fun.. she has a bright array of colors from teal to pink.. its kinda tacky.. cute but tacky...then my cousin and i went to the movies now im back at my g-ma's house!! anywho- i guess i decided that i want to be able to just let loose and let things go alot more.. i wanna be able to laugh at myself.. i wanna be able to dance in the rain.. but still fix my hair up and look all pretty.. i wanna dance like no one is watching and sing like no one was listening... like i did before CJ... kinda like a little kid again... with that innocence..(sp)..i wanna smile like these little kids do when everyones there...i cant let CJ take that away from me right??
so i will do what i can lol depending on what the parentals let me do.. my mom is killing me as usual... i just want to walk off and leave.. i dont understand she talks to me like im 5 again..."did u brush ur teeth"..."holly dont do this.." grrrr i hate this!! "did u tell ur aunt stacey thank you?" ... someone remind me how old i am please!!!
i just took a break from my friends by coming down here tell me when i get a break from my family....? this medicine stuff spilled in my parents bag and i was cleaning it up .. and when i turned on the water it like burned bad.. i go...shit! lol my dad heard me.. he was cool about it though.. i figured he would jump down my throat.. im kinda glad he didnt but never the less..it was hilarious!! o and i just got voice mail on my phone!! and im loving everyminute of it!! i have already had two messages and its great.. whew.. well im off to bed.. we are leaving tommorow. to go home.. finally only eleven hours away!!! amazing
C.J wont leave me alone again..he is always in my head.. that stupid voice always in my head..in my dreams.. sometimes i wish i could just disapear... i want to scream ... but the thoughts stay in my head and i'll leave it for some other conversation time with myself... i hate that people think i have it all together.. i hate that sometimes even i think i have it all together...oh well i learn.. i just dont want to be here right now.. i wish i could go to laineys or daniels..anywhere..gone
lighter less dramatic note.. i got my hair highlighted i like it alot actually! i also got to help my aunt clean up her shop. it was fun.. she has a bright array of colors from teal to pink.. its kinda tacky.. cute but tacky...then my cousin and i went to the movies now im back at my g-ma's house!! anywho- i guess i decided that i want to be able to just let loose and let things go alot more.. i wanna be able to laugh at myself.. i wanna be able to dance in the rain.. but still fix my hair up and look all pretty.. i wanna dance like no one is watching and sing like no one was listening... like i did before CJ... kinda like a little kid again... with that innocence..(sp)..i wanna smile like these little kids do when everyones there...i cant let CJ take that away from me right??
so i will do what i can lol depending on what the parentals let me do.. my mom is killing me as usual... i just want to walk off and leave.. i dont understand she talks to me like im 5 again..."did u brush ur teeth"..."holly dont do this.." grrrr i hate this!! "did u tell ur aunt stacey thank you?" ... someone remind me how old i am please!!!
i just took a break from my friends by coming down here tell me when i get a break from my family....? this medicine stuff spilled in my parents bag and i was cleaning it up .. and when i turned on the water it like burned bad.. i go...shit! lol my dad heard me.. he was cool about it though.. i figured he would jump down my throat.. im kinda glad he didnt but never the less..it was hilarious!! o and i just got voice mail on my phone!! and im loving everyminute of it!! i have already had two messages and its great.. whew.. well im off to bed.. we are leaving tommorow. to go home.. finally only eleven hours away!!! amazing