ouchies
This is a fairly long story, and I'm at work, so I'm going to have to keep going back and forth between helping customers and this...but I'll do my best
So if you go back into one of my previous journal entries, I was griping about how I really just wanted this friend to know that I wanted to help...well this story continues.
About a week ago, I was pissed off at teh world and decided to take it out on him and sent him nasty e-mail about how I didn't appreciate being ignored..etc..and how I was never going to contact him again and we weren't on speaking terms unless he contacted me to work this out.... BIG MISTAKE
I then called a few times and offered several apology e-mails because I felt so bad for being so petty and taking 100% of my frustration out on him when he was really only like 0.05% of the issue.
Well today, he came online and I imed him...and said something along the lines of "I'd give me right arm if you would just talk to me, and I'm not even trying to joke"...and then there was no answer...which has become rather common. I then send a feeble "please?" he then responded with a "not right now Jamie"...to which I replied "fair enough, just know I'm sorry" He replied "there's no need, there jsut a lot of shit going on right now, and this is the least that I need, I'm not mad" I just said "fair enough, I'm glad that you're not mad and I really hope that everything works out for you and know that I'm always here for you, I'm going to let you go now, just take care of yourself, xoxo"
Seems nice enough right...except for the fact that he may as well have stuck a dagger in my heart, it would have probably hurt less than having him tell me that I was the thing he needed least. I get that's my fault...I never meant to be an added stress in his life and I feel so bad for sending him the stupid email in the first place...but I did, and I have to deal with it...I just wish he'd let me help him and I wish I could help him more...
Anyway, I've gotta go..I'll try to update more later.
So if you go back into one of my previous journal entries, I was griping about how I really just wanted this friend to know that I wanted to help...well this story continues.
About a week ago, I was pissed off at teh world and decided to take it out on him and sent him nasty e-mail about how I didn't appreciate being ignored..etc..and how I was never going to contact him again and we weren't on speaking terms unless he contacted me to work this out.... BIG MISTAKE
I then called a few times and offered several apology e-mails because I felt so bad for being so petty and taking 100% of my frustration out on him when he was really only like 0.05% of the issue.
Well today, he came online and I imed him...and said something along the lines of "I'd give me right arm if you would just talk to me, and I'm not even trying to joke"...and then there was no answer...which has become rather common. I then send a feeble "please?" he then responded with a "not right now Jamie"...to which I replied "fair enough, just know I'm sorry" He replied "there's no need, there jsut a lot of shit going on right now, and this is the least that I need, I'm not mad" I just said "fair enough, I'm glad that you're not mad and I really hope that everything works out for you and know that I'm always here for you, I'm going to let you go now, just take care of yourself, xoxo"
Seems nice enough right...except for the fact that he may as well have stuck a dagger in my heart, it would have probably hurt less than having him tell me that I was the thing he needed least. I get that's my fault...I never meant to be an added stress in his life and I feel so bad for sending him the stupid email in the first place...but I did, and I have to deal with it...I just wish he'd let me help him and I wish I could help him more...
Anyway, I've gotta go..I'll try to update more later.