(no subject)
mm goodmorning, it's 6:33 AM...
and i'm up early and bored..
sigh..
i don't wanna go to school today, i don't wanna see him anymore.. i don't wanna watch him ignore me, or glare at me, or.. i dk..
but i have to
i have to last another day of girl-kissing, adderall-induced anorexia, fake smiling, fake laughing, just... fake fake FAKE..
it's what i do for him.. it's what he does to me..
god i love him, why won't he just realise this and realise that i will do anything at all for him.. i was so ready to go.. but i didn't..
i didn't.
because it would hurt him..
it would hurt him more than i have ever hurt him before
but i guess that's what i do to him, hurt..
i don't know how to stop it..
i don't know.. i love him, that's about all i know..
sigh..
ok time to go eat my one meal of the day..
then go to school and watch buffy..
♥
and i'm up early and bored..
sigh..
i don't wanna go to school today, i don't wanna see him anymore.. i don't wanna watch him ignore me, or glare at me, or.. i dk..
but i have to
i have to last another day of girl-kissing, adderall-induced anorexia, fake smiling, fake laughing, just... fake fake FAKE..
it's what i do for him.. it's what he does to me..
god i love him, why won't he just realise this and realise that i will do anything at all for him.. i was so ready to go.. but i didn't..
i didn't.
because it would hurt him..
it would hurt him more than i have ever hurt him before
but i guess that's what i do to him, hurt..
i don't know how to stop it..
i don't know.. i love him, that's about all i know..
sigh..
ok time to go eat my one meal of the day..
then go to school and watch buffy..
♥