(no subject)
i dont know what to do about anything anymore.
i seem to fuck things up with friends.
i cant seem to just fuckin say what i wanna say or do what i wanna do with the boys in my life..
and i cant make an honest decision about where im going to college.
its just such a big big big decision and id rather someone else just make it for me..but i know thatd be a huge mistake. im indecisive. i know that.
a part of me just wants to fastforward through the rest of the fuckin year.
i hate school with a passion. i hate going. i hate getting outta bed to teachers who dont give a fuck themselves. what happened to the teachers we had at the beganing of the year that gave a damn? i mean...shouldnt they be trying to get us to care more now? i hate going to school just to do BS assignments. its a waste of my time..and i know its a waste of theirs.
i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
im sick of crying and hating.
im sick of everyone trying to make me tell them who is my real best friend...who i like best? thats freshman bullshit. i like everyone the same.
what happened to that closeness we had at the beginng of the year....when we all just hung out and laughed...noone got on each others nerve..im not gonna lie...i miss that. those days..before every other week we were in a fight...i mean you know its bad when the boys are fighting...we should be getting closer not growing apart...not yet this is it...i have to keep reminding myself that...we arent coming back in the fall...no second chances...its all right now.
if i could go back in time i would....there's a lot of things id do different...but i cant...i am who i am..and i wish everyone would just accept that at facevalue...
we have three months and some odd days together....cant we just fuckin enjoy it?
i seem to fuck things up with friends.
i cant seem to just fuckin say what i wanna say or do what i wanna do with the boys in my life..
and i cant make an honest decision about where im going to college.
its just such a big big big decision and id rather someone else just make it for me..but i know thatd be a huge mistake. im indecisive. i know that.
a part of me just wants to fastforward through the rest of the fuckin year.
i hate school with a passion. i hate going. i hate getting outta bed to teachers who dont give a fuck themselves. what happened to the teachers we had at the beganing of the year that gave a damn? i mean...shouldnt they be trying to get us to care more now? i hate going to school just to do BS assignments. its a waste of my time..and i know its a waste of theirs.
i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
im sick of crying and hating.
im sick of everyone trying to make me tell them who is my real best friend...who i like best? thats freshman bullshit. i like everyone the same.
what happened to that closeness we had at the beginng of the year....when we all just hung out and laughed...noone got on each others nerve..im not gonna lie...i miss that. those days..before every other week we were in a fight...i mean you know its bad when the boys are fighting...we should be getting closer not growing apart...not yet this is it...i have to keep reminding myself that...we arent coming back in the fall...no second chances...its all right now.
if i could go back in time i would....there's a lot of things id do different...but i cant...i am who i am..and i wish everyone would just accept that at facevalue...
we have three months and some odd days together....cant we just fuckin enjoy it?