(no subject)
So honestly now, who do you go to when you're best friend isn't there for you??
Yeah, bet you couldn't tell what was happening, but whatever. I'm still really stressed out about everything. Maybe its part of something else that i can't understand right now, but i just think i'm in a hole and its gunna take a bit to get out. But hey it would sure be good to have my best friend there for me to help me. I mean i've got some amazing friends talking to me right now and what not and helping me through everything, but part of everything is not having my best friend like i used to.
I'm not too sure on how my grandpa is dealing with his dad's death, not too good my grandma didn't think. I'm scared for him a lot really actually now that i think about it. After his surgery, the doctor's don't want a lot of stress and what not on him and i'm pretty sure that a death in the family is a TON of stress.
My cousin is sick again, like they don't know what it is, for at least the 3rd time since she was born not even a year ago. Uhmm yeah that's kinda scary, makes me wonder.
I'm still stuck up on the whole death thing. I've never really missed my Grammy Johnson as much as I am now. Or even Uncle Waldo, it hadn't really hit me that he actually died, and now it like has hit me, i dont konw. It's weird how things that happen can make you realize that WOW others thing have happened before this.
Girls day out at some point soon!! I really just need a few good laughs with some of my favorites! I wonder if it will actually happen.
I'm gunna go now before i break down and cry even more than i already am.
Dance Party at some point soon! I'm getting reall excited!
And oh yeah by the way P.S. I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH FRESHMEN YEAR OF COLLEGE! It's probably been one of the hardest years of my life emotionally wise, not academic wise, i thought it was kind of easy, but i guess my grades kinda showed for that. (I didn't even make dean's list first semester, and am not sure if i will this semester, but we're not gunna tell my parents)
Aunt Michelle is supposed to be coming up for a bit this summer if Justin ends up graduating! I can't wait, I haven't seen her in I dont even know how long, last summer? Although I know when she's up it will be her and nate and justin and their girlfriends hanging out. It's kidna of bad when you're aunt is closer to your cousin's girlfriends than they are to you. But hey, that's what happens in the family that i am in. It's a long story, and as much as i feel like ranting about it, i know no one will want to read it, because i probably wouldn't want to read it if i wasn't writing it.
I just wish I could talk to one person who could maybe help me with everything..but hey ill just settle for talking in general with them!
Thanks to all my true friends who have seen me partially through this time, and i know now that it's my job to get myself out of this the rest of the way, whether i talk to her or not, i need to get myself out of this, and I need to stop shutting myself out from the rest of the world, that's not a good thing.
Okay for real now, enough ranting, I've got an interview at 11:00 tomorrow morning in Portland, i'm soo effing nervous! I really hope I get this job!!
Yeah, bet you couldn't tell what was happening, but whatever. I'm still really stressed out about everything. Maybe its part of something else that i can't understand right now, but i just think i'm in a hole and its gunna take a bit to get out. But hey it would sure be good to have my best friend there for me to help me. I mean i've got some amazing friends talking to me right now and what not and helping me through everything, but part of everything is not having my best friend like i used to.
I'm not too sure on how my grandpa is dealing with his dad's death, not too good my grandma didn't think. I'm scared for him a lot really actually now that i think about it. After his surgery, the doctor's don't want a lot of stress and what not on him and i'm pretty sure that a death in the family is a TON of stress.
My cousin is sick again, like they don't know what it is, for at least the 3rd time since she was born not even a year ago. Uhmm yeah that's kinda scary, makes me wonder.
I'm still stuck up on the whole death thing. I've never really missed my Grammy Johnson as much as I am now. Or even Uncle Waldo, it hadn't really hit me that he actually died, and now it like has hit me, i dont konw. It's weird how things that happen can make you realize that WOW others thing have happened before this.
Girls day out at some point soon!! I really just need a few good laughs with some of my favorites! I wonder if it will actually happen.
I'm gunna go now before i break down and cry even more than i already am.
Dance Party at some point soon! I'm getting reall excited!
And oh yeah by the way P.S. I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH FRESHMEN YEAR OF COLLEGE! It's probably been one of the hardest years of my life emotionally wise, not academic wise, i thought it was kind of easy, but i guess my grades kinda showed for that. (I didn't even make dean's list first semester, and am not sure if i will this semester, but we're not gunna tell my parents)
Aunt Michelle is supposed to be coming up for a bit this summer if Justin ends up graduating! I can't wait, I haven't seen her in I dont even know how long, last summer? Although I know when she's up it will be her and nate and justin and their girlfriends hanging out. It's kidna of bad when you're aunt is closer to your cousin's girlfriends than they are to you. But hey, that's what happens in the family that i am in. It's a long story, and as much as i feel like ranting about it, i know no one will want to read it, because i probably wouldn't want to read it if i wasn't writing it.
I just wish I could talk to one person who could maybe help me with everything..but hey ill just settle for talking in general with them!
Thanks to all my true friends who have seen me partially through this time, and i know now that it's my job to get myself out of this the rest of the way, whether i talk to her or not, i need to get myself out of this, and I need to stop shutting myself out from the rest of the world, that's not a good thing.
Okay for real now, enough ranting, I've got an interview at 11:00 tomorrow morning in Portland, i'm soo effing nervous! I really hope I get this job!!