I wish I could explain...
I think being off my meds for the last couple days has affected me... and I don't like it.
I have been so happy lately.. but it seems like he isn't.. I mean at least not online. He seems sad and like I'm a burden.. I just hope that I'm not.. I absolutely hate feeling this way.
I went through an old conversation and found something he said that lifted my spirits:"you have helped more than you can imagine, you lifted my spirits and you mean so much to me than i can put into words"
Just that little quote helps me so much.. I don't think he could possibly understand that. I just can't wait until the weekend.. Tomorrow is a day off... I don't think I'm working cuz Katie wanted the shift... who knows maybe I'll go out?! yeah right. Friday I work 4-9:30 which isn't bad at all... then Saturday I am jam-packed. I'm going to the drill meet at THS to support some people there. If anyone else wants to go with me.. that would be cool. Then I am leaving at god knows when to go to Marion for the family birthday celebration although my birthday isn't until the 19th. Then Sunday I work 2-9:30.
Things are pretty good besides right now. But hopefully by the end of the night I'll feel better.. I just wish I knew what he was feeling.. but wishes can't always come true so I'll just have to hang tight for right now.
I'll turn this into a public journal.. I'm sure I'll get yelled at by someone for somethings I write.. but guess what I don't care anymore!
~Christina