On fear
It's getting a bit out of control. I've been trying to sit myself down to finish the story about the Mekker (some of you will know what the heck I'm talking about), and I haven't done it yet. Why?
Fear. All kinds of it. In layers, sort of.
I fear the idea's bad. I fear I've locked myself into a place where the story can't complete. I fear I've started something I can't finish--which, let's be honest, is more or less the theme of my life at the moment.
I bring this up because lately I've been trying to mitigate a lot of these knee-jerk reactions. I had a good conversation with friends here, and one of them said something that struck me: every personal impulse comes from a desire to make a positive outcome. No matter how distorted or self-sabotaging those impulses may be.
The trick is to catch the impulses as they happen, determine what they're trying to achieve, and then achieve that goal without employing the self-sabotage.
So with me, the fear impulse is huge. I'm guessing it used to just be a caution impulse and now it's entirely outgrown itself. Therefore, the challenge is to step in before the fear takes hold. I think I've managed to do that, but now I have to deal with the slightly more insidious procrastination problem.
I'll write about that tomorrow...
Fear. All kinds of it. In layers, sort of.
I fear the idea's bad. I fear I've locked myself into a place where the story can't complete. I fear I've started something I can't finish--which, let's be honest, is more or less the theme of my life at the moment.
I bring this up because lately I've been trying to mitigate a lot of these knee-jerk reactions. I had a good conversation with friends here, and one of them said something that struck me: every personal impulse comes from a desire to make a positive outcome. No matter how distorted or self-sabotaging those impulses may be.
The trick is to catch the impulses as they happen, determine what they're trying to achieve, and then achieve that goal without employing the self-sabotage.
So with me, the fear impulse is huge. I'm guessing it used to just be a caution impulse and now it's entirely outgrown itself. Therefore, the challenge is to step in before the fear takes hold. I think I've managed to do that, but now I have to deal with the slightly more insidious procrastination problem.
I'll write about that tomorrow...