Frozen
i havent been angry in such a long time.
i guess thats why it hurts so much.
i have so much pent up anger. i guess its only reality. I have to realize that i have only been living in a dream my whole life. i dont want to wake up but i dont have a choice.
Im so angry. Family, friends, life,
im so angry at my family, my life and most especially myself.
For letting myself go. For giving up what i believe in. Im angry that i cant live my life. Im stuck and trapped.
Why does the idea to rebel always kick in my mind every chance that i get when i become angry. I become blunt. i dont care what anyone says. It just floats above my head. untill i need the help.
There are things that i want to do, i want to live. but i only live in a shelter. Thats how i live. WIth eyes alawys following me. Making sure every move that i make isnt wrong. that every step i take i wont do wrong. This is why i have become like this.
i want to live my life. i want to have fun for once i feel like i am living the life of a 40 year old. i have the rest of my life to worry. why cant i live. why cant i have fun. why cant i let loose. why cant i be free.
i want to get a tattoo. i want to get a piercings, i want to do what i want to do.
Help me because i am trapped.
Left Behind in the Frozen Ice
i feel so left behind. Left from the world.
Do you know what it feel like to watch everyone go
to see all the smiling faces, the laughter, the joy in your eyes.
when im not there it hurts.
im so far behind you cant even see me.
i was only a memory
i couldnt even make an impact in your life.
when im gone who will even notice that im no longer here
even the ones that i love will leave me
i live so cold heartedly in my own frozen world.
i want to break away from the from the stone cold ice
but every time i try. everytime i make a mark, it only grows colder.
it wraps me up until i can no longer move.
i crystalize...
each time you try to soften my cold heart. heat it up with flame, slowly melting all the harsh thoughts
there will always something to bring me back to reality.
to bring me back to fear.
to bring me back to world of darkness, cold, shame.
i wish someone can bring me back from oblivion
someone ,anyone.
but noone can help me but my self.