Hello Once Again!
I haven't written in quite a while - i'm somewhat excited lol I Hope everyone has been having a wonderful summer . . Here's mine -
Oke So work week was 2 weeks ago in Gainesville for CTC - i'm a cheer camp instructor - its sooo fun =) Work week was a blast but Aj and I rarely even spoke to each other by the end of the week . .
ok here it goes, i never do this
We get there sunday and Aj and I are cool - for the first 2 nights although he picks on my extremely bad, like WAYYYY MORE than ever before so that was akward...then he starts hanging out with other girls..ok i can't get mad because we're not together BUT don't ignore me and be rude! I got upset on tuesday night but after that i told myself that i need to have fun and not worry about it So thats what i did. We all had a good time and oh yeah....Satruday morning when Chantelle and i were leaving i said goodbye to Aj in bed with another girl...but no i honestly, truly believe and know he didn't actually have sex with her but i know they did something (2 nights in a row)
Had my first camp last weekend in Jacksonville with Jason and Birttany - the ironic part - brittany was the girl AJ was with hahahahaha. I was supposed to stay with her but i stayed at jason's house instead. And For some reason AJ was all about talking to me that weekend..i dont think he liked the idea that i was at Jason's SO sunday night i stayed at Jason's instead of coming home because i didn't feel like driving home and that ended up being a bad idea . . AJ was pretty pissed and was being a BIG A - HOLE!!! Then he has the nerve to tell me that he has some "negative view" of me now and yet he can't explain it Talk About A Blow To The Head!!!! that was soooo unbelievably hurtful i can't even explain . . So We had a big discussion on tuesday night and i told him my complate feelings and the fact that i wish i could go an entire with not thinking of him or wanting to talk to him. His response = He Had None...and i told him that he needs to tell me something, good or bad, because i have no clue what he's feeling and to think about it i dont' think he knows what he's feeling either. So we finally come to today . . and he tells me that supposedly Jason told someone (who told AJ) that i let him (jason) listen to our entire conversation from sunday night HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! OMG NO WAY anyone who knows me would certainly know that i'd NeVeR EvEr do anything like that and i would expect him to know that too but instead he believes everyone else BUT ME! So of course i call Jason and he said he never said that so someone is lying. All i know is that sunday night jason was on the phone with Tara the entire time i was speaking to AJ and from my knowledge the person AJ was with was actually listening - and i didn't get mad. Oh No of course not...But I'm The Bad Guy and AJ now has another reason to have a negative view of me (so he said)
AHHH the kid is killing me - he's sooo confusing and yet he knows he has this unexplainable control over me . . I'll admit it - and yes i've been quite upset and rather emotional because i don't want the one person who means sooo sooo much to me and has made me the happiest the past year all of a sudden dislike me for reasons unknown to me and that are not true . . Why is there this unecessary drama all of a sudden? it never ends . .
I'm miserable without the kid - and that sounds pathetic i know but i have to admit it to myself or i'll keep having this internal emotional battle with myself..which i have already the realistic vs. wishful thinking ughh i'm disgusting haha Please tell me to shut up and get over this...
Well i Miss everyone oh so much and i feel so out of touch =( I wont have work until July (which sucks big time i want the money) I have to see my girls sometime soon before i leave in July - all thanks to cheerleading practice LoL
Oke So work week was 2 weeks ago in Gainesville for CTC - i'm a cheer camp instructor - its sooo fun =) Work week was a blast but Aj and I rarely even spoke to each other by the end of the week . .
ok here it goes, i never do this
We get there sunday and Aj and I are cool - for the first 2 nights although he picks on my extremely bad, like WAYYYY MORE than ever before so that was akward...then he starts hanging out with other girls..ok i can't get mad because we're not together BUT don't ignore me and be rude! I got upset on tuesday night but after that i told myself that i need to have fun and not worry about it So thats what i did. We all had a good time and oh yeah....Satruday morning when Chantelle and i were leaving i said goodbye to Aj in bed with another girl...but no i honestly, truly believe and know he didn't actually have sex with her but i know they did something (2 nights in a row)
Had my first camp last weekend in Jacksonville with Jason and Birttany - the ironic part - brittany was the girl AJ was with hahahahaha. I was supposed to stay with her but i stayed at jason's house instead. And For some reason AJ was all about talking to me that weekend..i dont think he liked the idea that i was at Jason's SO sunday night i stayed at Jason's instead of coming home because i didn't feel like driving home and that ended up being a bad idea . . AJ was pretty pissed and was being a BIG A - HOLE!!! Then he has the nerve to tell me that he has some "negative view" of me now and yet he can't explain it Talk About A Blow To The Head!!!! that was soooo unbelievably hurtful i can't even explain . . So We had a big discussion on tuesday night and i told him my complate feelings and the fact that i wish i could go an entire with not thinking of him or wanting to talk to him. His response = He Had None...and i told him that he needs to tell me something, good or bad, because i have no clue what he's feeling and to think about it i dont' think he knows what he's feeling either. So we finally come to today . . and he tells me that supposedly Jason told someone (who told AJ) that i let him (jason) listen to our entire conversation from sunday night HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! OMG NO WAY anyone who knows me would certainly know that i'd NeVeR EvEr do anything like that and i would expect him to know that too but instead he believes everyone else BUT ME! So of course i call Jason and he said he never said that so someone is lying. All i know is that sunday night jason was on the phone with Tara the entire time i was speaking to AJ and from my knowledge the person AJ was with was actually listening - and i didn't get mad. Oh No of course not...But I'm The Bad Guy and AJ now has another reason to have a negative view of me (so he said)
AHHH the kid is killing me - he's sooo confusing and yet he knows he has this unexplainable control over me . . I'll admit it - and yes i've been quite upset and rather emotional because i don't want the one person who means sooo sooo much to me and has made me the happiest the past year all of a sudden dislike me for reasons unknown to me and that are not true . . Why is there this unecessary drama all of a sudden? it never ends . .
I'm miserable without the kid - and that sounds pathetic i know but i have to admit it to myself or i'll keep having this internal emotional battle with myself..which i have already the realistic vs. wishful thinking ughh i'm disgusting haha Please tell me to shut up and get over this...
Well i Miss everyone oh so much and i feel so out of touch =( I wont have work until July (which sucks big time i want the money) I have to see my girls sometime soon before i leave in July - all thanks to cheerleading practice LoL