(no subject)
I'm depressed. Simply depressed. I'm not suicidal, I'm not acting out, I'm not even curling into a ball. I'm just learning to accept the fact that I'll always be the way I am now, and I will end up alone. It's actually okay with me, its the way I prefer it to having to share the rest of my life with someone. I could never trust anyone enough for that. But the thing thats sad to me is that I know exactly what my life will be like. It'll be the same as it is now, with more bills. It just sucks that life won't be more than that, you know? I just really wish I was naive.
I am proud of who I am now, but that doesnt change the fact that people hate me. I'm a disciplinary figure to my peers, simply because I have standards. I wont let kids throw slurs around like it's acceptable. Which doesnt earn me any friends.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.
It's just sad to sit around weekends and think about the friends I had. But I wont accept that its somehow my own fault. I'm not going to smoke pot and sleep around if I dont want to, just to make friends.
It's just me and the music now.
I am proud of who I am now, but that doesnt change the fact that people hate me. I'm a disciplinary figure to my peers, simply because I have standards. I wont let kids throw slurs around like it's acceptable. Which doesnt earn me any friends.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.
It's just sad to sit around weekends and think about the friends I had. But I wont accept that its somehow my own fault. I'm not going to smoke pot and sleep around if I dont want to, just to make friends.
It's just me and the music now.