(no subject)
so my mom's coming home from alabama tonight. i guess its good -- seeing as she wasnt supposed to come home until tomorrow night. she's still gonna end up being in washington for her birthday which sucks.
i have a stomach ache like whoa. and my head kills!! i think i fucked my knee up again that fucking doctor cant do shit. at least he admited it, but i guess it was partially my fault .. for not listening to him. god damn why do i hafta be so stubborn! ugh .. it hurts so bad, to walk, to pretty much move it period. =( fuuuuuuck. i hate this.
i also hate not being able to go to shit i fucking wanna. why do my parents hafta have the jobs they have? dad got a new boss .. he's working till 4.30 every day and momma -- she hasnt changed. still comes home from work at like 8.30. it gets tiring coming home and trying to keep thing as 'under control' as i can. i hate cleaning. and somehow i get stuck doing it every saturday. i also hate having to make dinner. and not being able to go places because i cant get a ride there. i cant wait until i can drive. the only problem then is gonna be, trying to afford to buy a car. more joy. whatever .. there's a reason i gotta do the shit that i do at 14. it makes me a stronger person i guess. i also get tired of raising my voice to be heard. but at least im able to stand up to my father now. im not afraid like i used to be, im sucking it up to stand up for my sister and brother. i gotta. who else is gonna stand up for them? .. yea - nobody!