(no subject)
i wish i could fit in.
i know this may seem extremely shallow. but just one day of being well-liked, pretty, and smart. not clumsy, stupid, weird caitlin. you know? i mean i know that God calls us to not fit in and to stand apart..but how far apart did he make me to be? it feels like i'm back in middle school. with stupid, not-worth-it drama, and people giving me mean looks and calling me ugly. it puts quite a twist in my personality. b/c i start trying to conform. and i feel like everyone who gives me those mean looks for no reason must be jealous that they're not as willing to be themselves in public as i am. but i have to say, i was really planning to give christmas presents this year, but i didnt know who to give them to. only a few people have truly been there for me. most people ignore me b/c they're too busy. but i think i'm becoming the person i like to call the "just another one of 'em" girl. the person whose always there with people but nobody ever tries to know. i try to be nice and i try to be mature, but when immature people are around me, i become just as immature again. and it pretty much has ruined my mood for who-knows how long..
i guess i just wish someone understands.
but most of yall probably skipped over this paragraph.
and even when you say "yes caitlin i care"..you truly dont.
i know this may seem extremely shallow. but just one day of being well-liked, pretty, and smart. not clumsy, stupid, weird caitlin. you know? i mean i know that God calls us to not fit in and to stand apart..but how far apart did he make me to be? it feels like i'm back in middle school. with stupid, not-worth-it drama, and people giving me mean looks and calling me ugly. it puts quite a twist in my personality. b/c i start trying to conform. and i feel like everyone who gives me those mean looks for no reason must be jealous that they're not as willing to be themselves in public as i am. but i have to say, i was really planning to give christmas presents this year, but i didnt know who to give them to. only a few people have truly been there for me. most people ignore me b/c they're too busy. but i think i'm becoming the person i like to call the "just another one of 'em" girl. the person whose always there with people but nobody ever tries to know. i try to be nice and i try to be mature, but when immature people are around me, i become just as immature again. and it pretty much has ruined my mood for who-knows how long..
i guess i just wish someone understands.
but most of yall probably skipped over this paragraph.
and even when you say "yes caitlin i care"..you truly dont.