we hold on to thing the tightest -- when we are forced to let them go
I kept reading old notes && thinking about old memories
I read stuff from Tawni && Sasha mostly
I miss the way things use to be with them
I AM
I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter hiding my depression
I am your sister making a good impression
I am your friend acting as if Im fine
I am a wisher wishing this life werent mine
I am a girl who thinks of suicide
I am a teenager pushing my tears aside
I am a student who doesnt have a clue
I am the girl sitting next to you
I am the one asking you to care
I am your true friend hoping you'll be there
"I know you'll be there and I'll always be there for you no matter how bad the situation is"
^thats from Sasha, Awhile ago.
" How can one person and some memories make someone else so miserable? Why can't I be happy for just ONE second? Why everytime I try to be happy I end up crying? "
^thats from Tawni, Awhile ago.
Friday Night- I ended up going to Ambers around 7:30. We watched some movies and such, Brea went to Brett's && I found out some funny shit. Like the whole night we were playing video games -- the purple dragon reminded me of Brett =] Anyways, we ended up ordering pizza from the Linwoon Hotel, && then her dad took us to go pick it up. At like Midnight we went and picked up Brea && then me and Amber went back to my house. We watched Never Been Kissed ( which we both saw for the first time ), Amadyville Horror ( which the computer distracted us from ) && Enough ( which I fell asleep too around 6 am. I tried waking Amber up to go upstairs, but she didnt.
Saturday- We woke up at like 1:30, my mom was being a complete bitch so I was so fuckin happy she left. Me && Amber were bored and hungry. I had a pretty horrible night. Well I guess me and Sasha arent " true friends " anymore. I dont want to talk about why. Sometimes I just make decisions based on what I think will be better. I guess im just fed up with Tyler and all his bullshit. So he can have it his way, he wins -- I give up. Im going to do whatever it takes to keep him out of my life for good. Well whatever, I completely broke to Amber. I cried like no other telling her a lot of stuff ive never told anyone before. I felt better once Amber's mom came and picked us up && took us back to her house. We went straight to her room and I said " ahh, its good to be home " haha then we laughed =]. Well I called dee I think && then Amber left me for the computer, so I joined her a little later. We stayed up all night, It was awesome. I went to bed around 7:30 && Amber I think an hour later.
Sunday- I woke up at like noon, and hung out with Brea. Then me and Brett started making plans. Kso heres the thing, Bretts my favorite, we're Julie Haters, && part of the MAFIA MAFIA FO SHO ;) lmao. Anyways .. me him and Amber went to the movies. Brett had to sneak in and he paid for me and Amber lol. We saw the ringer at 5:30, it was great because me and Brett had already seen it but Amber didnt. So we had some fun with that. When we got home I took a shower, had dinner && blah blah blah. Ambers mom took me home around 10:00 because my mom wouldnt and I was going to walk. When I got home I was pissed so I just went to bed.
Today- Another half day, && last day of exams. Im so happy. Nomore studying late at night and long boring class hours.
"The hardest thing about being a teenage is losing your first love, I know I'll never get over it"
Quoted by: Zac sfrom Saved By The Bell =] =]
I read stuff from Tawni && Sasha mostly
I miss the way things use to be with them
I AM
I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter hiding my depression
I am your sister making a good impression
I am your friend acting as if Im fine
I am a wisher wishing this life werent mine
I am a girl who thinks of suicide
I am a teenager pushing my tears aside
I am a student who doesnt have a clue
I am the girl sitting next to you
I am the one asking you to care
I am your true friend hoping you'll be there
"I know you'll be there and I'll always be there for you no matter how bad the situation is"
^thats from Sasha, Awhile ago.
" How can one person and some memories make someone else so miserable? Why can't I be happy for just ONE second? Why everytime I try to be happy I end up crying? "
^thats from Tawni, Awhile ago.
Friday Night- I ended up going to Ambers around 7:30. We watched some movies and such, Brea went to Brett's && I found out some funny shit. Like the whole night we were playing video games -- the purple dragon reminded me of Brett =] Anyways, we ended up ordering pizza from the Linwoon Hotel, && then her dad took us to go pick it up. At like Midnight we went and picked up Brea && then me and Amber went back to my house. We watched Never Been Kissed ( which we both saw for the first time ), Amadyville Horror ( which the computer distracted us from ) && Enough ( which I fell asleep too around 6 am. I tried waking Amber up to go upstairs, but she didnt.
Saturday- We woke up at like 1:30, my mom was being a complete bitch so I was so fuckin happy she left. Me && Amber were bored and hungry. I had a pretty horrible night. Well I guess me and Sasha arent " true friends " anymore. I dont want to talk about why. Sometimes I just make decisions based on what I think will be better. I guess im just fed up with Tyler and all his bullshit. So he can have it his way, he wins -- I give up. Im going to do whatever it takes to keep him out of my life for good. Well whatever, I completely broke to Amber. I cried like no other telling her a lot of stuff ive never told anyone before. I felt better once Amber's mom came and picked us up && took us back to her house. We went straight to her room and I said " ahh, its good to be home " haha then we laughed =]. Well I called dee I think && then Amber left me for the computer, so I joined her a little later. We stayed up all night, It was awesome. I went to bed around 7:30 && Amber I think an hour later.
Sunday- I woke up at like noon, and hung out with Brea. Then me and Brett started making plans. Kso heres the thing, Bretts my favorite, we're Julie Haters, && part of the MAFIA MAFIA FO SHO ;) lmao. Anyways .. me him and Amber went to the movies. Brett had to sneak in and he paid for me and Amber lol. We saw the ringer at 5:30, it was great because me and Brett had already seen it but Amber didnt. So we had some fun with that. When we got home I took a shower, had dinner && blah blah blah. Ambers mom took me home around 10:00 because my mom wouldnt and I was going to walk. When I got home I was pissed so I just went to bed.
Today- Another half day, && last day of exams. Im so happy. Nomore studying late at night and long boring class hours.
"The hardest thing about being a teenage is losing your first love, I know I'll never get over it"
Quoted by: Zac sfrom Saved By The Bell =] =]