just some thoughts.
People come and go in your life all the time. People who you think are one of your closest friends, turn out to be your biggest problem. People who you think you can trust the most and rely on turn out to be the biggest liars and backstabbers of all. But you just got to let it go and move on and hope that one day they will see their mistakes and change for the better (if possible). Sometimes you will miss them. But when you think about it, is it really THEM you miss, or is it just the memories of who they used to be that you miss?
Why can't everything be so simple the way it was when you were four years old or when your eighty seven years old? You look at Cutter's four year old twin cousins, who get so excited and happy to see me after 6 months. All they need to make them happy is their mom when they are tired and want someone to sleep on. They got their whole lifes ahead of them & when you look at them, it makes you wonder what they will be like in high school and so on.
& then there is the 87 year old grandpa in the nursing home. All he needs is someone to come visit him once in awhile and it makes his whole week brighter. When you look at him, and wonder how his life was in high school and his younger years, and then you just see how happy he gets when he sees your face, like nothing else in the world matters. He doesn't mind he in a nursing home, or in a wheel chair. As long as he gets to see the people he loves, he is just fine.
It makes you realize that it doesn't matter what happens between the age of 4 and 87. It doesn't matter what kind of car you drive, what career you have, how big of a house you live in, what materialistic things you own. All that matters is the people that are in your life who make those years worthwhile. You just got to figure out who is going to be there for you throughout all of those years, and who isn't? Who do you want to be there in all those memories when you are 90 and thinking about the old time?
None of the little things will matter. So don't stress out so much. None of the drama or crap that happens in your teenage/early years will matter when you are 87 in a nursing home. The parties, the alcohol, the drugs, who stole whos boyfriend, what girls treat group you go in, how many boys/girls you date; none of that is going to matter. It just all comes down to the people you have that sincerely care; not the materalistic things. Stuff that seems like a big deal now won't be down the road.
I need to learn to just take things one day at a time and not get so stressed out. Besides school being so stressful, everything is going great. Things at home are going good, not fighting with mom or andrew/matthew. I realize that those stupid little fights over who gets to sit up front, who gets the last soda, aren't going to matter. I've got everything I've ever asked for and more. The best boyfriend a girl could ask for. A good steady job, one that I am finally happy with. I just need to get the school area figured out.