(no subject)
Ok so here is how my past two days went..
Yesterday
What was supposed to happen..
-Wake up call Eric and go over to his house for the day.
what really happened..
-Jackie felt like making it a "clean-the-house" day
-Jackie wanted to run to JC Pennys for like 5 minutes.. turned into 5 hours and i started getting angry.
-Had to eat dinner with the family.. even though my dad wasnt even home.
-Got to hear nic and my mom talk on the phone while i heard nic say "i hope she isnt coming here after lindsays tomorrow" and my mom laughed.
-Found out every nice thing my mom says to me is a lie. And its all so i keep going back to visit them. Even though they dont want me anymore.
-Cried myself to sleep.
Today
What was supposed to happen..
- Go to Lindsays for New Years Eve party.. Stay there till sunday.
what really happened..
(well its only 1130 but i can tell you the jist of it so far)
-Woke up excited and ready to go to Lindsays.
-Nic tells Jackie my mom didnt know i was going up there
-Jackie calls my dad he says i cant go
-I tell jackie my new years is ruined
-Jackie tells me i have to ride with her to drop nic off cuz my dad said
-I scream at her that im not riding up there for 2 hours when i dont even get to stay its pointless
-She screams at me to get in the car or shes calling my dad
-I tell her to go ahead im not coming
-It continues..
-I end up not going.
-I did something not good.
-Lindsay is mad at me. Even though im the one who gets to sit at home being bored sleeping on new years while she has a party and i miss her more then fucking ANYTHING.
-Im once again sick of life. Feel empty. Miss Lindsay. Yes im goign to say it.. want to die. (but i wont.. ill get over it.. im strong now. I dont give up anymore.)
now..
-Im going to cry myself to sleep until its tomorrow, or maybe the next tomorrow. Maybe i can just hybernate and sleep forever. I wish that was an option.
Any questions??
Yesterday
What was supposed to happen..
-Wake up call Eric and go over to his house for the day.
what really happened..
-Jackie felt like making it a "clean-the-house" day
-Jackie wanted to run to JC Pennys for like 5 minutes.. turned into 5 hours and i started getting angry.
-Had to eat dinner with the family.. even though my dad wasnt even home.
-Got to hear nic and my mom talk on the phone while i heard nic say "i hope she isnt coming here after lindsays tomorrow" and my mom laughed.
-Found out every nice thing my mom says to me is a lie. And its all so i keep going back to visit them. Even though they dont want me anymore.
-Cried myself to sleep.
Today
What was supposed to happen..
- Go to Lindsays for New Years Eve party.. Stay there till sunday.
what really happened..
(well its only 1130 but i can tell you the jist of it so far)
-Woke up excited and ready to go to Lindsays.
-Nic tells Jackie my mom didnt know i was going up there
-Jackie calls my dad he says i cant go
-I tell jackie my new years is ruined
-Jackie tells me i have to ride with her to drop nic off cuz my dad said
-I scream at her that im not riding up there for 2 hours when i dont even get to stay its pointless
-She screams at me to get in the car or shes calling my dad
-I tell her to go ahead im not coming
-It continues..
-I end up not going.
-I did something not good.
-Lindsay is mad at me. Even though im the one who gets to sit at home being bored sleeping on new years while she has a party and i miss her more then fucking ANYTHING.
-Im once again sick of life. Feel empty. Miss Lindsay. Yes im goign to say it.. want to die. (but i wont.. ill get over it.. im strong now. I dont give up anymore.)
now..
-Im going to cry myself to sleep until its tomorrow, or maybe the next tomorrow. Maybe i can just hybernate and sleep forever. I wish that was an option.
Any questions??