(no subject)
So, I realized. My life is good. I bitch when things don't come out my way. And I tend to bitch really badly. I make over $2,000 per month for just working 2 jobs. That makes a total of $24,000 a year. Um. That's a lot. Some people told me I stop right after High School and not persue anything.
One. I can't work at Baskin Robins forever. I mean, really. I can't babysit these kids forever... I'll become old and creepy to them. Then they won't need me once they hit their teen years.
Secondly, I want to go out in the world and prove something. Maybe in reality, I wanted to prove something to me. I have always been good enough for other people, but for myself? I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel proud. I feel like "Oh wow, my parents/kyle/friends will be so happy for me." What about me? I am the top priority in my life aren't I? I am what matters the most before the other people. So I got accepted in a few schools... which I won't mention, but I don't feel anything.
Why is that? I got accepted in one of the hardest schools in my state. I'm the head cheerleader (well... was... :/ Senior year is almost ending) of the varsity squad. Also on the volleyball and track varsity team... I have a boyfriend who I love with all my heart and soul. I have worked so hard and got so far in life... And I don't feel anything. Or maybe I do, and maybe I'm just disappointed that not everyone can get as far. Too many people come up to me and say "Wow... you spoiled bitch."
It hurts. Even though I don't act like it, it hurts. So badly. I don't know why I let it influence me.
Kyle and I have been doing really well. Two years on July 29th. He has been so wonderful. We have talked about getting engaged... But we're not sure. Maybe later throughout college we'll see if we will want to be with each other. But I honestly feel like he is my soulmate, but I am just not ready to take on a big task right now.
Well that was quite an entry.
Christine, I am excited to see you this saturday.
Dev's penis.
One. I can't work at Baskin Robins forever. I mean, really. I can't babysit these kids forever... I'll become old and creepy to them. Then they won't need me once they hit their teen years.
Secondly, I want to go out in the world and prove something. Maybe in reality, I wanted to prove something to me. I have always been good enough for other people, but for myself? I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel proud. I feel like "Oh wow, my parents/kyle/friends will be so happy for me." What about me? I am the top priority in my life aren't I? I am what matters the most before the other people. So I got accepted in a few schools... which I won't mention, but I don't feel anything.
Why is that? I got accepted in one of the hardest schools in my state. I'm the head cheerleader (well... was... :/ Senior year is almost ending) of the varsity squad. Also on the volleyball and track varsity team... I have a boyfriend who I love with all my heart and soul. I have worked so hard and got so far in life... And I don't feel anything. Or maybe I do, and maybe I'm just disappointed that not everyone can get as far. Too many people come up to me and say "Wow... you spoiled bitch."
It hurts. Even though I don't act like it, it hurts. So badly. I don't know why I let it influence me.
Kyle and I have been doing really well. Two years on July 29th. He has been so wonderful. We have talked about getting engaged... But we're not sure. Maybe later throughout college we'll see if we will want to be with each other. But I honestly feel like he is my soulmate, but I am just not ready to take on a big task right now.
Well that was quite an entry.
Christine, I am excited to see you this saturday.
Dev's penis.