im so depressed, about everything in my world

[xnotxmex]

the thing i hate most of all about this is that when i look back at this part of my life i should be able to say i was having the best time of my life...instead im going to look back and remember how our hearts were breaking

i have hurt so many people unintentionally....i hate myself for all of this

i want to get away from everything

i know i shouldnt run from my problems...but apparently im a pussy, and if i could, i would run away from all of this in a heartbeat

i love you bryne, i always will and since the day i met you i knew i would love you for the rest of my life....but you told me all good things must come to an end...i dont want this to be our end...but is it? have we finally gone beyond the point of repair?

when i think about living the rest of my life without you, without all those plans we made, it kills me...why cant we be in love like we were, why cant i fix this...why has everything been ruined?

i think the only way to figure out how i feel is to be with him, not for a long time, just a little bit to figure all this out...but if you think that is a bad idea, or it wouldnt help...thats fine as well, i wont do it...but i do think it would help me to figure out my feelings...i love you...please tell me what you think about everything...about us, about love...

im sorry dan, and bryne, and joe...and to all my friends for bitching especially annie and matty...kristen, phill, sara, ahsli, april, ...melanie
im sorry mumsy and dadeo...i love ou all no matter what i say...even you sara...we need to talk