just sometimes i wish i had the strenght not to cry.
i hate myself more than ever now, i can't seem to get things right. i just want to hold you more than ever now, i just wish i had someone to love me like i love you. i don't think you understand how hurt you can make me, or how upset you make me feel. i just wish i had the strength to yell at you but deep inside i don't. i just wish i had the time of day to give you, or even the heart i wear on my sleeve, i just wish i had a heart strong enough to say no, just tell you how i feel. i love you more than words can explain, but it hurts when you yell, it hurts when you hang up, and even worse when you don't call. i hate myself for doing this, i always fuck things up. i'm such a fucking idiot. i need you more than i've needed anyone, and i don't know why. it just scares me that i won't be able to make things right. my god, why the fuck do i have to do this. i just wish i didn't have to wish, and everything would be alright.