devistated
to day was the worse day of my whole entire life....jon broke up with me...i cant eat i cant sleep i cant talk...i am just so fucking depresed and i dont think i can actually get over it this time...it actually scares me of how much i actually loved this boy...i really dont care what anyone else thinks i really like him and i think we can work this out...i hope i really really do...he told me today that he couldnt promise me he wouldnt cheat on me...i dont know what the fuck his problem is but i think he was getting bored of me some how...as i said i dont give a rats ass yet why do i keep crying? i dont understand really i have no idea whats going on right now...
i had fucking 8 beers and smoked and once this morning....i have some golenshloger and bacardi...yummy! i had some shrooms and those were yummy too...i just wanted to get so fucked up today because jon ruined my fucking fun...i hate him i hate him i hate him!!!
well i really dont know what to do any more..i am so tired but i cant go to sleep with out starting to cry like crazy....isnt that fucked up?
i need another beer...brb
ok im god... yummy to my oops feel like i gotta puke....ewwww grosss....smelled like beer....cool!
im going to be going over to my uncles house in a few hours so i can baby sit...they have a 4 week old soon named scott and that scares me because my best friends brothers name is scott....
oh yeah the wedding that was on saturday or yesturday wtf ever...it was so cool...i was hangin out with liz the whole time and she was so cool to hang out with...we almost got thrown out of niagra fallz because we were pretending to have teretz....we were screaming out random things at random people we didnt even know...i was like cock and ballz!!! to this old old lady and she was like excuse me....i was like...you know you love the cock lady... she laughed and skidded off on her little lazy person chair....then we saw this girl chasing squirells up trees and we walked up to the tree and we were like squirrell!!!!!!!! hello???!?!?!?!?!? anyone up there!!?!?!? cheep cheep squirrelley squirrelley!!!!ca!!!! ca!!!!reh!!!!1reh!!!!ahhhahhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhh!!! the gurl ran away crying for her mom....then when we went to the mall to get my new aunt a wedding gift...we were playing around in there...we were making animal noises...and the this cop went by and as he looked down at me i was like oh oh ah ah!!!! like a monkey....he laughed and was like...carry on.... the we were walking towards the bathroom and some one called my cell phone...i stepped on each tile at a time saying...can you hear me now? on each one seperatly....then i handed this guy i didnt even know a five and asked him if he could go into the mens bathroom and ask the person on the phone can you hear me now?...it was so funny because when he walked out he didnt see me-n- liz still standing there...he looked around...and almost walked off with my brand fucking new ceel....i was fucking pissed./..
i miss sam so much...it is worse to be a way from sam for so long then to even rip out your heart and bleed to death on a sheet of broken fucking glass....and a person hammering two 9 inch mails into your eyeballz....muah ha ha ha he would say and i would be thinking of hmmmmmmm guess who...sam...duh! well i think i really need to get to sleep...i am so fucking tired but i cant stop thinking of jon and his gay ass body and awww shit i didnt it again...i always start talking about him when i dont want to...its bul shit...im so fucking drunk and high and tired and im trippen from the shrooms...you know what i feel like im going to die right here right now....its not worth it any more everyone fucking hates me here...jon is a dick and he dumped me...whats worth living for now huh? tell me one fucking thing that would stop me from slitting my wrists right now...oh yeah thats right you dont know what the hell there is to live for either do ya? well guess what...fuck off people im trying to live and people like jon just keep getting in the way of my fucking path...im fucking raw in my mind i dont have any brain cels left but you know what i still know that i love him and i always will....im going to bed...dont take this ofensivly sam...but fuck every one out there.....but sam....shes my bestest friend forever... l8r dayz much love for all.god bless ya...not! shadow
i had fucking 8 beers and smoked and once this morning....i have some golenshloger and bacardi...yummy! i had some shrooms and those were yummy too...i just wanted to get so fucked up today because jon ruined my fucking fun...i hate him i hate him i hate him!!!
well i really dont know what to do any more..i am so tired but i cant go to sleep with out starting to cry like crazy....isnt that fucked up?
i need another beer...brb
ok im god... yummy to my oops feel like i gotta puke....ewwww grosss....smelled like beer....cool!
im going to be going over to my uncles house in a few hours so i can baby sit...they have a 4 week old soon named scott and that scares me because my best friends brothers name is scott....
oh yeah the wedding that was on saturday or yesturday wtf ever...it was so cool...i was hangin out with liz the whole time and she was so cool to hang out with...we almost got thrown out of niagra fallz because we were pretending to have teretz....we were screaming out random things at random people we didnt even know...i was like cock and ballz!!! to this old old lady and she was like excuse me....i was like...you know you love the cock lady... she laughed and skidded off on her little lazy person chair....then we saw this girl chasing squirells up trees and we walked up to the tree and we were like squirrell!!!!!!!! hello???!?!?!?!?!? anyone up there!!?!?!? cheep cheep squirrelley squirrelley!!!!ca!!!! ca!!!!reh!!!!1reh!!!!ahhhahhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhh!!! the gurl ran away crying for her mom....then when we went to the mall to get my new aunt a wedding gift...we were playing around in there...we were making animal noises...and the this cop went by and as he looked down at me i was like oh oh ah ah!!!! like a monkey....he laughed and was like...carry on.... the we were walking towards the bathroom and some one called my cell phone...i stepped on each tile at a time saying...can you hear me now? on each one seperatly....then i handed this guy i didnt even know a five and asked him if he could go into the mens bathroom and ask the person on the phone can you hear me now?...it was so funny because when he walked out he didnt see me-n- liz still standing there...he looked around...and almost walked off with my brand fucking new ceel....i was fucking pissed./..
i miss sam so much...it is worse to be a way from sam for so long then to even rip out your heart and bleed to death on a sheet of broken fucking glass....and a person hammering two 9 inch mails into your eyeballz....muah ha ha ha he would say and i would be thinking of hmmmmmmm guess who...sam...duh! well i think i really need to get to sleep...i am so fucking tired but i cant stop thinking of jon and his gay ass body and awww shit i didnt it again...i always start talking about him when i dont want to...its bul shit...im so fucking drunk and high and tired and im trippen from the shrooms...you know what i feel like im going to die right here right now....its not worth it any more everyone fucking hates me here...jon is a dick and he dumped me...whats worth living for now huh? tell me one fucking thing that would stop me from slitting my wrists right now...oh yeah thats right you dont know what the hell there is to live for either do ya? well guess what...fuck off people im trying to live and people like jon just keep getting in the way of my fucking path...im fucking raw in my mind i dont have any brain cels left but you know what i still know that i love him and i always will....im going to bed...dont take this ofensivly sam...but fuck every one out there.....but sam....shes my bestest friend forever... l8r dayz much love for all.god bless ya...not! shadow