blahxcore
Being liked and adored by a lot of people isnt all that great. I realized that tonight. iduno what to do. blah this sucks hardocre. I kissed this guy ive liek for so long. and tonight it was iduno jsut weird and i know il get nothing with him but it jsut doesnt matter to me anymore. The theres distance. And cheating and just peopls i dont know about ahh! guys suuuccckkk. What the hells it to me? I always think a guy is jsut gunan come and "sweep me off my feet" But its not liek that. They say you gotta pray if you wanna go to heaven but they never tell you what to say when your whole life is shot to hell. What pleases me? I dont even know! Houston, we have a problem: I've lost control and I think I like it. It's starting to feel routine until... your hands are on my skin.Your hands run up my sides and anxiety is making its appearance. I'm so hot I can't breathe in this darkness but I smile anyway--because tonight I crash landed on a continent of sheets. In the background I can feel the future and a smile exchanged is all that I need right now. All that keeps runngin through my head from tonight is " This isn't a good idea tina, Its not a gud idea"
I need to stop being so clingy. I need to be less emotional. I need to stop being so sensitive. I need to stop asking so many questions. I need to stop accusing all the time. I need to stop flirting. I have to be more mature. I have to stop needing to know everything about him. I need to stop being crazy. I have to stop being so OCD. I need to learn to accept myself for who I am. I need to stop perfecting myself for him. I have to stop having a crush on him. I need to stop being so dramatic. I have to stop crying about him. I need to start living a real life. I have to get healthy. I need to stop caring about him so much. I have to stop my need to be with him. I need to stop being so jealous of everyone. I need to realize that there's nothing wrong with me
and I'm breaking the law
and I'm breaking promises
and I'm breaking apart