je pense donc je suis
i can remember last new year's too vividly... this year has gone by too fast... i'm going to be 22 and i'm still in junior college... and living at home... at least i've lived in a few other places too... but i am nowhere in skool... and more and more i despise art... i rarely write poetry anymore... i am working on the screenplays... but i feel like they are always just good but i have nothing substantial... i am no paz or rilke or salinger or tennesse williams... maybe i am too lazy... i have people like eddie tell me it is good, to keep doing it, because he wants me to write screenplays like paul schrader to his scorsese... but i doubt myself... i try to do music and it is the same thing... this is not supposed to sound as pathetic as it does... because the doubts are probably a good thing... i can't stop... i stopped poetry but moved on to screenplays... it has to go somewhere... and now that i think of it, this one little piece i just started working on for piano sounds really beautiful, very yann tiersen influenced... it was never meant to become any sort of actual song, but i am transcribing it now...
i am transferring to fullerton college and taking some video production/film classes... i have watched so many damn movies in the past couple of years... film students got nothin' on me... anyway, i want to try to do video editing... small time like commercials for local corporations would be fine with me... if i could work in that... i just want to get a damn job and not have to waste more time in skool... sometimes i really hate the way society has constructed everything... but that includes me and what am i doing about it?
"I'm hungry. Let's get a taco."
i saw Emma yesterday for the first time in about 2 years i think... i think 2 years, not i think i saw her... i miss her, she is a really neat person, completely unique... i wish more people were like her around here... i'm really sad i can't see her more (at least i don't think i will) before she leaves, but to just see her for a few hours was great... better than not seeing her for another year... it's strange we are still in contact, usually people drift apart when they don't contact each other more than a couple times a year... but then time in-between doesn't matter so much if they really are your friend because that time won't make a difference, other than being, well, time... which reminds me i haven't seen eddie in a while... and i myself disappear for long stretches of time... i suppose it makes those meetings, when they finally do happen, that much sweeter...
i like french rock... here are my favorite french artists right now... keep in mind i have no fucking clue what they are saying, sometimes even when they try to sing in english...
noir désir (they used to be straight up rock, now they add stuff like didgeridoo and kalimba and stuff... manu chao plays on one song on their newest album...)
manu chao
les négresses vertes (gypsy/rock/ska, "zobi la mouche" is about the hippest song i know right now...)
dionysos (most of their songs are in english i guess... but they make no sense... "don't forget you lent me books/and please put some stickers of the pixies everywhere" - the coffin song)
renaud
alain bashung
louise attaque (one of the singers is a girl, and there is a violin player, and they cover "kiss off" by violent femmes with yann tiersen and the married monk!)
yann tiersen
serge gainsbourg & brigitte bardot (mc solaar sampled from this one song they do called "bonnie and clyde")
saian supa crew (hip-hop, like a cross between outkast and the roots, only in french, of course, and they beatbox and everything!)
and...
allison polans from pennsylvania is finally coming out with her "EP" and she's making a full-length one soon! i am stoked, she writes awesome songs and is totally hip and nice and she's even all jewish and stuff, even though she's not even down to do hardcore jew stuff... something like that... i am listening to her right now, but there is no more room to add her to the "current music:" part of the entry...
i am going to check out chapman university's program for this summer in which you can go to madrid, españa for 4 weeks and paris, france or francais or whatever they call it in their native tongue for 4 weeks... leslie told me about this, in fact she is going i guess... maybe if i go with her it will cut down costs... she told me i should go...
pedro almodóvar's "hable con ella" is the best of the new films i have seen... it's got one very fuckin' funny scene in it, but the rest is great too... it's got comedy, drama, i don't know, it's just very good and deserves every award it's won...
i think i'll go watch "Une femme est une femme" now, which i bought with the money i don't have... but it's a godard film! i would have stolen it if i had to... his films, especially ones like this one, are impossible to find...
goodnight...
silence
i am transferring to fullerton college and taking some video production/film classes... i have watched so many damn movies in the past couple of years... film students got nothin' on me... anyway, i want to try to do video editing... small time like commercials for local corporations would be fine with me... if i could work in that... i just want to get a damn job and not have to waste more time in skool... sometimes i really hate the way society has constructed everything... but that includes me and what am i doing about it?
"I'm hungry. Let's get a taco."
i saw Emma yesterday for the first time in about 2 years i think... i think 2 years, not i think i saw her... i miss her, she is a really neat person, completely unique... i wish more people were like her around here... i'm really sad i can't see her more (at least i don't think i will) before she leaves, but to just see her for a few hours was great... better than not seeing her for another year... it's strange we are still in contact, usually people drift apart when they don't contact each other more than a couple times a year... but then time in-between doesn't matter so much if they really are your friend because that time won't make a difference, other than being, well, time... which reminds me i haven't seen eddie in a while... and i myself disappear for long stretches of time... i suppose it makes those meetings, when they finally do happen, that much sweeter...
i like french rock... here are my favorite french artists right now... keep in mind i have no fucking clue what they are saying, sometimes even when they try to sing in english...
noir désir (they used to be straight up rock, now they add stuff like didgeridoo and kalimba and stuff... manu chao plays on one song on their newest album...)
manu chao
les négresses vertes (gypsy/rock/ska, "zobi la mouche" is about the hippest song i know right now...)
dionysos (most of their songs are in english i guess... but they make no sense... "don't forget you lent me books/and please put some stickers of the pixies everywhere" - the coffin song)
renaud
alain bashung
louise attaque (one of the singers is a girl, and there is a violin player, and they cover "kiss off" by violent femmes with yann tiersen and the married monk!)
yann tiersen
serge gainsbourg & brigitte bardot (mc solaar sampled from this one song they do called "bonnie and clyde")
saian supa crew (hip-hop, like a cross between outkast and the roots, only in french, of course, and they beatbox and everything!)
and...
allison polans from pennsylvania is finally coming out with her "EP" and she's making a full-length one soon! i am stoked, she writes awesome songs and is totally hip and nice and she's even all jewish and stuff, even though she's not even down to do hardcore jew stuff... something like that... i am listening to her right now, but there is no more room to add her to the "current music:" part of the entry...
i am going to check out chapman university's program for this summer in which you can go to madrid, españa for 4 weeks and paris, france or francais or whatever they call it in their native tongue for 4 weeks... leslie told me about this, in fact she is going i guess... maybe if i go with her it will cut down costs... she told me i should go...
pedro almodóvar's "hable con ella" is the best of the new films i have seen... it's got one very fuckin' funny scene in it, but the rest is great too... it's got comedy, drama, i don't know, it's just very good and deserves every award it's won...
i think i'll go watch "Une femme est une femme" now, which i bought with the money i don't have... but it's a godard film! i would have stolen it if i had to... his films, especially ones like this one, are impossible to find...
goodnight...
silence