The Living Hell that is Portland
Hey kiddies....its your friendly neighborhood geekspeed ghost writing for xnibasx again...I know most of you who have been following our adventures as of late have wondered "where in the hell have those two crazy guys gone?"....well here i am to tell you.....
Monday we decided to stay in Van and just hang out and go to the Cobalt...Which proved to be quite entertaining....The Cobalt can only be compared to Las Vega's own Double Down in terms of pretty dope ass punk bars...not the same dirt punk feeling as the DD but definatly the same flair for subtle humor and drunken dubochery...On this night we happen to stumble in on "Game Show" night...what does this mean, just think Punkers and The Dating game....our female "Bachelorette" was none other than Vancouver's own Miss Behavin' and she carried a FUCKING BRICK...how nice is that, you win a free date with a chick (who was damn hot and wearing a corset), who besides having to be the centre of attention (minus 1 point) is carring a fucking brick incase you get out of line....oh the hillarity...it was fuckin funny....Then after the rousing Dating game, we got to watch...a variation of Strip Golf...this involved 4 punkers and one Miss Behavin (that whole centre of attention thing)....in which the object was to score more points than your opponents, and you did this buy putting past certain lines on the stage, but not going off the stage or hitting any of the objects/people on stage....your first shot was free...your second and subsequent shots cost you an article of clothing.....needless to say the punker who won, won by technicality -- there was argument as to whether or not belts were clothing (he had a fuckin lot of belts)....Miss behavin along with the rest of the men on stage including Andre O (more on why we know his name later) managed to get completely nekkid and sloppy ass drunk...it was great....Why do we rememeber Andre O's name -- cuz the announcer had to ask him his name like 90 fuckin million times, it was great and a good laff....Then whilst we were outside enjoying the fresh night air, what rains down upon us? A fuckin radio from the hotel room above, apprently someone was either enjoying the punk rawk atomosphere or just got tired of the fockin thing and threw it out the fockin window....dunno...but it was still funny and i laffed again....Ran into some interesting punkers....one had a pretty cool dog that was trained, he said down, and the dog sat down and laid in the parking lot....the other one had this cat that had a leash and sat across his shoulders...it was pretty interesting to see gutter punks with pets, kinda homely...i almost teared....
Now flash forward to tuesday, our final day in Vancouver...not too terribly exciting we got some pictures developed grabbed a couple more roles of film, met a beautiful girl by the name of Erika, and I got a photo of her as well...i even threw on a cheezey english accent and told her i was there on holiday -- i tell ya, chicks will throw their knees to the sky for a cheezey fucking english accent....then we were off....we headed south into seatle, looking for a fabled club, didnt really find one, and since my fone was on the fritz and i had somehow broken my cell cable our internet access had become scarce....so we decided upon plan b...which was to utilize my laptops wireless ethernet adaptor and go hop on someone elses network...is it legal? Kinda....did we do it...yes sir...after spoting a number of places from the freeway, we managed to hunt down an icky starbucks...true starbucks bleeds most of its signal out its windows, and yes we were able to connect to it...it did not open the floodgates of the internet onto us...rather it asked us for money, which we werent about to spend....so off to the next one...which happened to be across the street from starbucks....some poor sap had his wireless gateway a lil to close to a window....and after an hour or so trying to find the perfect "spot" we managed to link up for a few minutes to check email etc....all from the safety of a parked car.....thats what i call upwardly mobile....after that lil ordeal it was decided that we needed to get a new cell cable and fast....we wound up making our way south towards oregon and stopped for the night in the parking lot of some motel near Ft. Stevens....this has become quite a thing with the Flying J's ....not actually visiting motels and getting rooms, rather we'd just park in the parking lot and sleep...much cheaper....
Wednesday was all about Ft Stevens....beautiful old Fort built in the 1800s....to protect the Columbia and the Pacific waterways....we got a whole bunch of really kick ass pictures....We also did a lil climbing on top of various mechanisms of war which were proudly labeled "no climbing"....fock rules...rules were meant to be beant....The best part of Ft Stevens has to be their underground bunker....it used to be a Battery until WWII when they sealed up the top and made it into a sort of underground HQ for all the top military brass....really cool...really dark...really spooky....then it was off to the Goonies house, yes thats right, the house they filmed The Goonies at is in fucking Oregon....i never knew it, but the people in town sure do....After that we proceeded south, at this point my cell phone decided to die on me...i mean litterally die....its RIP now....i had to buy a new one but that whole adventure is located here in geekspeed's journal ...We drove down through Astoria and hit up "Haystack" rock which some say looks like the prudential rock...i think it looks like a fucking rock in the middle of the fucking ocean....wtf is it with americans and their zeal for fucking rocks in the fucking ocean....Ya know when you see Sea Gulls eating other Sea Gulls you know that this is someplace you dont wanna be.....We spent wednesday night in a campground in OR somewhere, i cant really rememeber where, but it was north of portland....
Thursday.....WILL WE EVER FOCKING LEAVE THE FUCKING PORTLAND AREA.....spent thursday on the focking searching for a new fone and cable for me....We must've hit everyfocking SprintPCS and RadioHack store from Astoria to fucking Lancaster Or....We finnally found the right combination....just took us many focking loops of the focking portland area just to get someplace....fock...fock...fock...Other than that we just drove....and drove...and drove....and right now are still driving as i write this....pretty damn uneventfull....but i am happy to say that both xnibasx and geekspeed have tickets to Inland Invasion thanks to sinthetik1 .... big shot glass out to ya.....ok peeps, for any omre info hit up my journal geekspeed or....keep readin this one.......
Monday we decided to stay in Van and just hang out and go to the Cobalt...Which proved to be quite entertaining....The Cobalt can only be compared to Las Vega's own Double Down in terms of pretty dope ass punk bars...not the same dirt punk feeling as the DD but definatly the same flair for subtle humor and drunken dubochery...On this night we happen to stumble in on "Game Show" night...what does this mean, just think Punkers and The Dating game....our female "Bachelorette" was none other than Vancouver's own Miss Behavin' and she carried a FUCKING BRICK...how nice is that, you win a free date with a chick (who was damn hot and wearing a corset), who besides having to be the centre of attention (minus 1 point) is carring a fucking brick incase you get out of line....oh the hillarity...it was fuckin funny....Then after the rousing Dating game, we got to watch...a variation of Strip Golf...this involved 4 punkers and one Miss Behavin (that whole centre of attention thing)....in which the object was to score more points than your opponents, and you did this buy putting past certain lines on the stage, but not going off the stage or hitting any of the objects/people on stage....your first shot was free...your second and subsequent shots cost you an article of clothing.....needless to say the punker who won, won by technicality -- there was argument as to whether or not belts were clothing (he had a fuckin lot of belts)....Miss behavin along with the rest of the men on stage including Andre O (more on why we know his name later) managed to get completely nekkid and sloppy ass drunk...it was great....Why do we rememeber Andre O's name -- cuz the announcer had to ask him his name like 90 fuckin million times, it was great and a good laff....Then whilst we were outside enjoying the fresh night air, what rains down upon us? A fuckin radio from the hotel room above, apprently someone was either enjoying the punk rawk atomosphere or just got tired of the fockin thing and threw it out the fockin window....dunno...but it was still funny and i laffed again....Ran into some interesting punkers....one had a pretty cool dog that was trained, he said down, and the dog sat down and laid in the parking lot....the other one had this cat that had a leash and sat across his shoulders...it was pretty interesting to see gutter punks with pets, kinda homely...i almost teared....
Now flash forward to tuesday, our final day in Vancouver...not too terribly exciting we got some pictures developed grabbed a couple more roles of film, met a beautiful girl by the name of Erika, and I got a photo of her as well...i even threw on a cheezey english accent and told her i was there on holiday -- i tell ya, chicks will throw their knees to the sky for a cheezey fucking english accent....then we were off....we headed south into seatle, looking for a fabled club, didnt really find one, and since my fone was on the fritz and i had somehow broken my cell cable our internet access had become scarce....so we decided upon plan b...which was to utilize my laptops wireless ethernet adaptor and go hop on someone elses network...is it legal? Kinda....did we do it...yes sir...after spoting a number of places from the freeway, we managed to hunt down an icky starbucks...true starbucks bleeds most of its signal out its windows, and yes we were able to connect to it...it did not open the floodgates of the internet onto us...rather it asked us for money, which we werent about to spend....so off to the next one...which happened to be across the street from starbucks....some poor sap had his wireless gateway a lil to close to a window....and after an hour or so trying to find the perfect "spot" we managed to link up for a few minutes to check email etc....all from the safety of a parked car.....thats what i call upwardly mobile....after that lil ordeal it was decided that we needed to get a new cell cable and fast....we wound up making our way south towards oregon and stopped for the night in the parking lot of some motel near Ft. Stevens....this has become quite a thing with the Flying J's ....not actually visiting motels and getting rooms, rather we'd just park in the parking lot and sleep...much cheaper....
Wednesday was all about Ft Stevens....beautiful old Fort built in the 1800s....to protect the Columbia and the Pacific waterways....we got a whole bunch of really kick ass pictures....We also did a lil climbing on top of various mechanisms of war which were proudly labeled "no climbing"....fock rules...rules were meant to be beant....The best part of Ft Stevens has to be their underground bunker....it used to be a Battery until WWII when they sealed up the top and made it into a sort of underground HQ for all the top military brass....really cool...really dark...really spooky....then it was off to the Goonies house, yes thats right, the house they filmed The Goonies at is in fucking Oregon....i never knew it, but the people in town sure do....After that we proceeded south, at this point my cell phone decided to die on me...i mean litterally die....its RIP now....i had to buy a new one but that whole adventure is located here in geekspeed's journal ...We drove down through Astoria and hit up "Haystack" rock which some say looks like the prudential rock...i think it looks like a fucking rock in the middle of the fucking ocean....wtf is it with americans and their zeal for fucking rocks in the fucking ocean....Ya know when you see Sea Gulls eating other Sea Gulls you know that this is someplace you dont wanna be.....We spent wednesday night in a campground in OR somewhere, i cant really rememeber where, but it was north of portland....
Thursday.....WILL WE EVER FOCKING LEAVE THE FUCKING PORTLAND AREA.....spent thursday on the focking searching for a new fone and cable for me....We must've hit everyfocking SprintPCS and RadioHack store from Astoria to fucking Lancaster Or....We finnally found the right combination....just took us many focking loops of the focking portland area just to get someplace....fock...fock...fock...Other than that we just drove....and drove...and drove....and right now are still driving as i write this....pretty damn uneventfull....but i am happy to say that both xnibasx and geekspeed have tickets to Inland Invasion thanks to sinthetik1 .... big shot glass out to ya.....ok peeps, for any omre info hit up my journal geekspeed or....keep readin this one.......