(no subject)
I've come to a conclusion, these images are false. I have no remorse for falsified feelings. I keep telling myself that I'm in love, that this love will take me somewhere in the life I'm living. In reality this lie is holding me back. I want a life again, I want balance. I need to find a place that I belong so that I can finally move on. My last final was yesterday, I feel relieved with a 3.0 G.P.A. My life is on track so far, except for a job that will bring me a small income. Sheila, the girls and Doug are going to be moving to Seattle next year...I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I have so much to do within the life I've lead so far.
I don't have time to stress. I am impatient when it comes to time related issues. I am going to use this winter break to work on myself. My personal philosophies, my whole make-up, really. I feel so stuck on myself, I owe people money. The last thing I wanted to do since coming back is become some unreliable dead beat. I have to REALLY work my ass off in order to win at this game. I need to stay on top of it, dominate!
Goddamnit, I really shouldn't sit here in my pajamas just talking about it. I need to get up an DO something about my situation. I am going to get dressed now and go out there. Into the winters cold embrace.