Hope, whither art thou?
I am behind on my mortgage payment because I have no money in my bank accounts.
I have an unemployment check that needs depositing. It is in the amount of the mortgage payment, plus ten dollars. Another unemployment check will not come for two weeks.
I'm stressed. I cannot sleep in my bed. For the past week I have only found rest on the couch, finally drifting off at three in the morning. I have panic attacks hourly. I try to combat them by watching episodes of Firefly slowly download on WinMX.
I know I should probably ask my parents for some money, but I have already borrowed a thousand dollars from them, and do not wish to ask for more. But I see no other choice.
I am mad at myself for letting depression and fear keep me from applying for jobs. I know I should not be choosy. I know I should just take any old job to pay the bills. But I am scared that I will get trapped in another five years of meaningless work, which will just make me depressed anyhow.
I keep hoping for a miracle, a revelation, an epiphany, a quick answer. Something that will light me with fire, that will get my butt in gear, that will make my dreams come true. I am losing hope that I will ever find the spark.
I've decided to leave AIM running fulltime. Please feel free to fill up my screen with jokes, words of encouragement, or inspirational links. It's xnera23, in case the link don't work.
I have an unemployment check that needs depositing. It is in the amount of the mortgage payment, plus ten dollars. Another unemployment check will not come for two weeks.
I'm stressed. I cannot sleep in my bed. For the past week I have only found rest on the couch, finally drifting off at three in the morning. I have panic attacks hourly. I try to combat them by watching episodes of Firefly slowly download on WinMX.
I know I should probably ask my parents for some money, but I have already borrowed a thousand dollars from them, and do not wish to ask for more. But I see no other choice.
I am mad at myself for letting depression and fear keep me from applying for jobs. I know I should not be choosy. I know I should just take any old job to pay the bills. But I am scared that I will get trapped in another five years of meaningless work, which will just make me depressed anyhow.
I keep hoping for a miracle, a revelation, an epiphany, a quick answer. Something that will light me with fire, that will get my butt in gear, that will make my dreams come true. I am losing hope that I will ever find the spark.
I've decided to leave AIM running fulltime. Please feel free to fill up my screen with jokes, words of encouragement, or inspirational links. It's xnera23, in case the link don't work.