Eastern ECHO article
I could believe this was actually printed in a college newspaper!!!
Society must find more testosterone
By Randy Wood / Staff Writer
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2006
Good morning, EMU. By the time you read this, we can only hope that Jerome Bettis has earned his Super Bowl ring. It's great to have a football team to finally root for in Detroit, even if they are from the other side of Lake Erie. Win or loose, we can be sure it was a great story to have the bus come home to Detroit.
I love the Super Bowl. I love football in general, but more and more responsibilities lead to less and less time to watch games. At least we will always have the Super Bowl. I can't think of any other event where it is not only allowed but expected to have men gather to drink beer, eat barbeque, and watch football as they whoop and holler and curse calls from the officials. Just thinking about getting all the guys together for this sacred tradition makes me want to grunt a la Tim Allen. It is on the cusp of this great event that I need to get some things off my chest!
Our society is getting more and more feminized. Don't believe me? Turn on the T.V. You'll certainly see advertisements for "feminine products" every minute or two. Some people see this as a great progression that the United States is going through. They point to women in the workplace as the pinnacle of a modern society. While the rights of women are certainly no laughing matter, I'm writing this in the days leading up to the Super Bowl, so I really just don't care if some chick doesn't see the humor in this article. Unless she's really hot.
Men are becoming more and more confused as to the proper way to act around women. This becomes extremely apparent when you see the woman who is, shall we say "endowed" wearing the low cut shirt with sparkly lettering getting offended when a guy (gasp) looks at her rack! This goes for the other side of a woman as well. Ladies, if you're wearing pants that are so tight that they look as if your backside is begging to be liberated, then don't you dare complain if you hear a catcall or two. Speaking of catcalls, do they even exist anymore? Men have been indoctrinated with this notion that if you whistle at a woman you don't know, that's immediate grounds for your castration.
Not only are men expected to act like sissies in public, but many men are so confused they actually think they have to check their testosterone at the door as soon as they get a "serious" girlfriend. I'm sure everyone knows a guy who is dating a woman who defiantly "wears the pants" in the relationship. This is one of the saddest trends I've ever seen. As much of a crack-head as Freud was, he was on to something. Some guys need to call and ask permission to stay after work and have a beer with the guys! As a man, the only time you need to ask permission from your woman is when you're feeling nasty...
The media's role? Not only do we have to sit through those damn commercials, but every show out there is about some loser guy and a hot chick. The hot chick is of course smarter than the guy, and it's so funny. Go watch an old "I Love Lucy" episode. (That was an old sitcom; ask a professor about it.) She had an allowance! Could you imagine what would happen if that show was made today? There would be mobs of short-haired women burning down television offices. It would be hilarious. As far as movies go, are there any comedies anymore? Every damn film is a "romantic comedy" with a guy falling in love at the end. It's pathetic. They try and make them more interesting by showing us topless babes for a few brief moments. Unfortunately, we're the Internet generation; we've seen pictures of topless women. Let's see some stuff blow up!
If there are any women out there who are still reading this, good for you. Guys, there's still hope for real men. No matter how much they complain or how much they beg you to "share your feelings" with them, we can still be men. How? Because somewhere, deep down in the core of every woman, she wants a man. Not some sissified, whining, sniveling, limp-wristed, "Brokeback Mountain"-watching, talk-about-our-relationship girlie man. They are genetically drawn to the strong, gun-toting, meat-eating, cigar-smoking, bar-brawling, rock solid men. They can try to hide it all they want. But in the end, they actually like guys to act like men.
So next year when you're watching the Big Game, if your woman feels left out of the fun, smack her on the ass and have her bring you another beer. And to think they say football brings out the immature side of men.
Society must find more testosterone
By Randy Wood / Staff Writer
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2006
Good morning, EMU. By the time you read this, we can only hope that Jerome Bettis has earned his Super Bowl ring. It's great to have a football team to finally root for in Detroit, even if they are from the other side of Lake Erie. Win or loose, we can be sure it was a great story to have the bus come home to Detroit.
I love the Super Bowl. I love football in general, but more and more responsibilities lead to less and less time to watch games. At least we will always have the Super Bowl. I can't think of any other event where it is not only allowed but expected to have men gather to drink beer, eat barbeque, and watch football as they whoop and holler and curse calls from the officials. Just thinking about getting all the guys together for this sacred tradition makes me want to grunt a la Tim Allen. It is on the cusp of this great event that I need to get some things off my chest!
Our society is getting more and more feminized. Don't believe me? Turn on the T.V. You'll certainly see advertisements for "feminine products" every minute or two. Some people see this as a great progression that the United States is going through. They point to women in the workplace as the pinnacle of a modern society. While the rights of women are certainly no laughing matter, I'm writing this in the days leading up to the Super Bowl, so I really just don't care if some chick doesn't see the humor in this article. Unless she's really hot.
Men are becoming more and more confused as to the proper way to act around women. This becomes extremely apparent when you see the woman who is, shall we say "endowed" wearing the low cut shirt with sparkly lettering getting offended when a guy (gasp) looks at her rack! This goes for the other side of a woman as well. Ladies, if you're wearing pants that are so tight that they look as if your backside is begging to be liberated, then don't you dare complain if you hear a catcall or two. Speaking of catcalls, do they even exist anymore? Men have been indoctrinated with this notion that if you whistle at a woman you don't know, that's immediate grounds for your castration.
Not only are men expected to act like sissies in public, but many men are so confused they actually think they have to check their testosterone at the door as soon as they get a "serious" girlfriend. I'm sure everyone knows a guy who is dating a woman who defiantly "wears the pants" in the relationship. This is one of the saddest trends I've ever seen. As much of a crack-head as Freud was, he was on to something. Some guys need to call and ask permission to stay after work and have a beer with the guys! As a man, the only time you need to ask permission from your woman is when you're feeling nasty...
The media's role? Not only do we have to sit through those damn commercials, but every show out there is about some loser guy and a hot chick. The hot chick is of course smarter than the guy, and it's so funny. Go watch an old "I Love Lucy" episode. (That was an old sitcom; ask a professor about it.) She had an allowance! Could you imagine what would happen if that show was made today? There would be mobs of short-haired women burning down television offices. It would be hilarious. As far as movies go, are there any comedies anymore? Every damn film is a "romantic comedy" with a guy falling in love at the end. It's pathetic. They try and make them more interesting by showing us topless babes for a few brief moments. Unfortunately, we're the Internet generation; we've seen pictures of topless women. Let's see some stuff blow up!
If there are any women out there who are still reading this, good for you. Guys, there's still hope for real men. No matter how much they complain or how much they beg you to "share your feelings" with them, we can still be men. How? Because somewhere, deep down in the core of every woman, she wants a man. Not some sissified, whining, sniveling, limp-wristed, "Brokeback Mountain"-watching, talk-about-our-relationship girlie man. They are genetically drawn to the strong, gun-toting, meat-eating, cigar-smoking, bar-brawling, rock solid men. They can try to hide it all they want. But in the end, they actually like guys to act like men.
So next year when you're watching the Big Game, if your woman feels left out of the fun, smack her on the ass and have her bring you another beer. And to think they say football brings out the immature side of men.