(no subject)
so i was just looking at these pictures i have on my computer from when i actually used to use a picture of myself as my display picture. heh. part of me thinks i look so much better back then. and then the other part is like what the fuck are you thinking? who the fuck cares what you look like? ive changed since then.. it was a pretty quick change actually. i changed from not caring what i looked like to caring what i looked like to not caring what i looked like. i mean, i still care, but not nearly as much. but i dont know.. i still miss my long hair.. sometimes i even miss the blond-ness but then im like fuck it. i think back to grade 9 (which wasnt very long ago) and i realized people were right. the people who said i changed were absolutely right. ew. im ashamed. i wish i could do grade 9 over so i wouldnt be so ditzy and annoying and just.. ugh. i was fake. i tried to fit in with other girls. but now im like, what was i thinking? jeez, i killed my hair for nothing! it upsets me. whatever. this year is gonna be different. i no longer care if people think i look like shit or not. i swear i wont be constantly checking my reflection and asking people how i look. i just cant believe i was conforming.. ahhhhh.. why didnt anyone slap me? im hoping this year people wont think im an annoying ditzy girly girl. oh what am i saying, I DONT CARE. all i know is now ive realized that ive changed and shat and im hoping to re-build the friendships that i kinda fucked up. i didnt spend enough time with so many people that i should have. anyways.. im gone.