It gets better: chapter 8
Sorry but this chapter's no longer happy. Contains scenes that some may find upsetting so if you're sensitive to the subject of suicide I wouldn't really read if I were you. It's also super long but I don't know if that's good or bad. I hope you enjoy...
Chapter 8
Sally had gone outside to call Kevin to let him know that Sophie was ok so Sophie went back to Sian. The second she walked in the room she could tell that Sian had been crying.
“Sian what’s wrong”
“Nothing” Sian said and smiled at Sophie fakely
“Oh come on Sian, I know there’s something”
“No it’s just been a long night that’s all” Said Sian, there was no way she could tell Sophie what she had been told, she knew that she would have to tell her sometime but she couldn’t face saying it out loud, all she wanted was to wake up and find that it had all been a bad dream but if she said it and saw Sophie’s reaction she knew that then she knew that it was all real, that this was really happening all because of that idiot Ryan.
Sophie looked at Sian; she could tell that something was really wrong, no matter what Sian said. Her heart started thumping against her chest, what if it was her, what if Sian didn’t want this. But if she didn’t then why would say all that, and give her the necklace and stuck up for her with Ryan. She didn’t know what to think it was all so comfusing.
“You do want this don’t you” Sophie asked
“What”
“You and me”
“Yer of corse I do Soph”
“Then what’s going on” She asked. Sian sighed she knew there was no way Sophie was going to drop this she just didn’t want her to find out so quickly. When she found out there was no way that Sophie would still want to be with her and even if she stayed with her, out of pity or something, she didn’t want Sophie to have to deal with something like that and to live with something like that.
“Come on Sian just tell me”
“I don’t know how too”
“Urghhh Sian”
“Sorry... ok well the thing is....”
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Sophie alone in her room after Sian had fallen asleep and Sally had prised Sophie away from her and taken her home. She couldn’t believe what Sian had told her, she didn’t want to believe it. And worse of all it was all her fault, if she had never forced her way into Sian’s life none of this would ever of happened. Of corse Sian didn’t see it like that though.
Sophie sighed and tears slowly started to drift down her cheeks, she tried not to cry but the tears kept forming in her deep blue eyes.
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Sian awoke to find no one there. This was it Sophie had left her, she was gone. Sian had thought this would happen but it still hurt. She couldn’t help wondering what was left for her, what was the point of living anymore. Her parents were useless, neither of them cared at all and this was before they found out about her and Sophie, if there even was a her and Sophie anymore. Sophie had left her and she probably wasn’t coming back after what she’d found out. Everyone at school would hate her, she thought her and Sophie would be able to handle them together but obviously not anymore and if this was the damage that just one stupid kid could cause who knows what was in store from the rest of them. And now this. Sian thought that it was just a little thing that would go away soon, after all she had just hit her head pretty hard and, at the time, she was too worried about Sophie to care about anything else. But when she had bringed it up with the doctor he had seemed pretty worried and sent her for tests immediately. And when she got the results, well. The doctor said that she might one day walk again but she would need a strict fitness program and sessions with a physiotherapist and she just didn’t know if she could be bothered anymore with any of it. And she knew it sounded mad but whenever she had felt depressed or like giving up in the past she had always had this little picture in her head with her when she was older, in a country cottage, near a woods, with horses and a husband and children. Because that was what she had to hold on too, to keep her going the future. But what kind of future did she have now. She had nothing left anymore.
Sian reached to the bedside table where the doctor had left some sleeping pills in case she couldn’t drop off. It was a full packet, there were probably enough. She emptied them onto the bed and before she could change her mind she stuffed them all into her mouth and swallowed. At first she thought nothing was happening but all of a sudden she started to feel woozy. This was it she thought but something else on the table caught her eye. There was a letter from Sophie. It said:
Dear Sian
I’m really sorry but I’ve got to go, my mum won’t let me stay any longer. But don’t worry I’ll be back as soon as I can so don’t worry. And I think that my mum might let you stay, now that she’s got all the anger and confusion out of her system she seems to be coming to terms with it all quite well considering. So yer, I hope you had a good sleep and stuff and I’ll see you soon. I love you.
Lots and lots of love,
Sophie xxx
Sian had time to read the final line before blacking out.
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The next morning Sophie arrived, determined to make this work and to always be there for Sian, no matter whether she could walk or not. She rounded the corner with flowers, into Sian’s ward to find an empty bed where Sian was before...