Bad News Bears
Today? Sucky thanks for asking.
So Im having surgery on Tuesday, Yeup all 4 wisdom teeth, Impacted to the bone. Nice thought huh? Yeah im thrilled JUST joking! So ill be on drugs the rest of the week so if you have anything you need to talk to me seriously about, YOU better do it before tuesday cuz god knows ill be fucked up just the slightest after that.
Im bored. I wanna go back Home! Home = Castleton not here, Colchester licks my wounds with salt if you ask me. Iv done nothing but sit and bitch since i have gotten home. I need to clean my room before tuesday so i can be comfortable after my surgery. I was seriously thinking about going to pick up Katelyn from Troy tommrow if shes able to cuz im bored outta my mind and it would be nice to have someone take note of the humorus events that are going to take place while im fucked up the ass with drugs.
Chris? How are he and i doing? Well good i thought till today. I geuss i said the wrong thing. He was being crabby so i told him so and he got huffy with me. But what are you gunna do ... I tell it like it is... Hate me if you wish but i didnt mean for it to be an insult. I love you Chris. DUhhh!!! My heart is in knots i hate having the unresolved feeling that i have right now. So im supposed to see him soon wich im really exsited about and really nervouse about to. I fear i wont be what hes expecting me to be like he will be dissipointed in me. NH was fun when i was with him there ... i just want this to be just like that only better. I fear failure and not holding up to peoples expectations. I just dont want to fuck up with Chris iv never loved anyone like i love him, i never knew it could feel this good.
Its funny alot of my fears are comming out this week. After the harsh reality check of last week, the surgery coming up on tuesday... i can honestly say that im a wuss. Im afraid to have surgery im afraid of alot of stuff but only this week it has jumped out in frount of me. I allways saw my self as a strong person. i geuss i was wrong. I mean sure in some aspects im strong but when it comes to physical harm i geuss thats the one thing i fear the most. Im a baby I know ill be fine after tuesday and i know i have nothing to fear when im with friends. I just have to get over this little hump that fell in my way. Ill get there sometimes time is the best of all healers.
I could simply sit here and say i give up but im not going to do that. I got to push on and hold my head up, walk into surgery, walk up to my friends and just not fear whats going to happen next. Life is to short to worry. I just wanna live it up. I wanna be held and hugged and told that i matter. Theres so much out there.
Okay so i just had to vent. lol sorry about that.
So Im having surgery on Tuesday, Yeup all 4 wisdom teeth, Impacted to the bone. Nice thought huh? Yeah im thrilled JUST joking! So ill be on drugs the rest of the week so if you have anything you need to talk to me seriously about, YOU better do it before tuesday cuz god knows ill be fucked up just the slightest after that.
Im bored. I wanna go back Home! Home = Castleton not here, Colchester licks my wounds with salt if you ask me. Iv done nothing but sit and bitch since i have gotten home. I need to clean my room before tuesday so i can be comfortable after my surgery. I was seriously thinking about going to pick up Katelyn from Troy tommrow if shes able to cuz im bored outta my mind and it would be nice to have someone take note of the humorus events that are going to take place while im fucked up the ass with drugs.
Chris? How are he and i doing? Well good i thought till today. I geuss i said the wrong thing. He was being crabby so i told him so and he got huffy with me. But what are you gunna do ... I tell it like it is... Hate me if you wish but i didnt mean for it to be an insult. I love you Chris. DUhhh!!! My heart is in knots i hate having the unresolved feeling that i have right now. So im supposed to see him soon wich im really exsited about and really nervouse about to. I fear i wont be what hes expecting me to be like he will be dissipointed in me. NH was fun when i was with him there ... i just want this to be just like that only better. I fear failure and not holding up to peoples expectations. I just dont want to fuck up with Chris iv never loved anyone like i love him, i never knew it could feel this good.
Its funny alot of my fears are comming out this week. After the harsh reality check of last week, the surgery coming up on tuesday... i can honestly say that im a wuss. Im afraid to have surgery im afraid of alot of stuff but only this week it has jumped out in frount of me. I allways saw my self as a strong person. i geuss i was wrong. I mean sure in some aspects im strong but when it comes to physical harm i geuss thats the one thing i fear the most. Im a baby I know ill be fine after tuesday and i know i have nothing to fear when im with friends. I just have to get over this little hump that fell in my way. Ill get there sometimes time is the best of all healers.
I could simply sit here and say i give up but im not going to do that. I got to push on and hold my head up, walk into surgery, walk up to my friends and just not fear whats going to happen next. Life is to short to worry. I just wanna live it up. I wanna be held and hugged and told that i matter. Theres so much out there.
Okay so i just had to vent. lol sorry about that.